Opened
Chapter 6 of “The Evolution
of Spike”
By Chani
“God! What is your problem?”
“I just wanna know why you brought me here.” Spike glared at the girl – his host - whose name he now knew to be Mia. Not only was she Miss Suzy Homemaker, she was a financial wizard as well. When he had jokingly called her a number cruncher, she quickly set him straight and informed him that she was a certified public account and a certified financial planner. She evidently had a thing for certifications. At that particular moment, however, she was certifiably pissed off.
“And I told you – you had no one else to take care of you and you needed help.” Her voice was calmer now. “It doesn’t make a difference how many times you ask me, the answer’s gonna be the same. So save your lack of breath and pick another question.”
With what she had already told him, he had managed to piece together what had happened. His drunken binge had lasted four nights, not two. He had spent the last two nights at her place, and the one before at her friend’s bar. But, after he had made a noticeable dent in the bar’s inventory, her friend, Keith, had decided to go ahead and call the cops, figuring the bleached blonde was just some drunken sot. That’s when Mia had stepped in and taken him home with her. He just couldn’t figure out why. “So I’m just supposed to believe you helped me out of the goodness of your heart? You let someone you didn’t know – someone you later found out to be a vampire - stay here two nights, sleep in your bed, drink your blood? And I do remember drinking from you, luv.”
“Do you see my house??” she asked him, waving her arm around as if to show him why his question was so ludicrous. “Do you see the various critters running amuck here?? I’ve got three dogs, two cats, a snake, a rabbit, a duck, and three very small kittens, none of which came from a pet store. Use your brain, buddy.”
A zoo, just like he’d thought when he woke up. But who in the hell would want a duck? He had always hated ducks…stinky, vile, bug-ridden things that they were. “So you make a habit of bringing drunk men home with you?” He knew he had her there, even if he ignored the fact that his question apparently made her uncomfortable.
“Well…not exactly, but…”
“How many times have you taken drunk men home with you?” There was no way he was dropping this subject, watching her squirm was too much fun. Besides, there had to be some other explanation for her helping him. People didn’t just help other people for no reason, unless said people were the slayer and her merry band of Scoobies. “Or am I the first? Lonely girl sees an attractive fellow alone and drunk, then takes him home with her hopin’ for a little…”
Her mouth opened briefly, then closed, twisting into a wry smile. “Yup, there’s something about a guy who’s passed out and drooling on himself that just turns me on. And then throw in the fact that he’s too drunk to walk, starts stripping as soon as he steps foot in my house, passes out in my bed mumbling the name ‘Bunny’ and tries to stick his hand between my legs while I clean his own dried blood off of him…man, that just gets me sooo hot!” She stood up and glared at him. “Oh yeah, and just in case you ever come here again,” she pointed across the den to what appeared to be a wet bar, “that is where I keep my liquor. What you drank from the other night was one of the dogs’ water bowls.”
“I didn’t…”
She nodded curtly. “That was just one of the many charming things you did during your stay here.” She walked past him and started out of the room, then turned halfway back toward him when he got up to follow her. “I don’t know who screwed you over so bad that you can’t believe someone would actually have any compassion for you, but you need to get over it.”
The cocky smirk left his face, and he had an unexpected desire to smack his host. “People don’t do things like this unless-”
“Believe what you want, but I’m done with this conversation,” Mia told him with a loud huff. “Unfortunately, since I don’t have an underground tunnel out of my house, you’re stuck here till sundown, so make yourself at home.”
Spike scowled at her back as she started up the stairs. “Where’re you goin’?”
“Somewhere you aren’t,” she told him, without turning around. “I told you I’m done with this conversation, but you don’t seem inclined to drop it. So if you’re going to accuse me of having ulterior motives for helping you, you can do it alone.”
“Then tell me the real reason you brought me here.” He wasn’t surprised when she stopped at the top of the stairs and turned around to face him, but the way she looked at him - the way she seemed to stare right through him, with a strange mixture of understanding and commiseration - startled him like nothing had in a long time.
Her voice was softer when she spoke. “If you want me to give you a ride somewhere when it’s safe for you to leave, let me know. I’d be more than happy to do it.” She paused briefly and sighed. “If not, you can stop by next Friday and pick up your coat. My dry cleaner said they’ll have it back to me then, at the latest.”
His coat. His beloved leather duster…which now had holes in it thanks to one of her dogs. At least she had the decency to pay to have it fixed. Even though she had already disappeared from sight, he asked, “And just what the bleeding hell am I supposed to do till sundown?”
When she answered, her voice was only just loud enough for him to hear. “I told you to make yourself at home, but if you want a suggestion, I’d start with some Listerine.”
As the last word came out of her mouth, he heard her bedroom door close with a little more force than was necessary, leaving no more room for discussion.
Looking around the room, he sighed. Stranded for at least four hours. With three dogs, a handful of cats, other various creatures he couldn’t remember, and some kittens, one of which was now crawling up his leg. Definitely not on the list of things he wanted to do before he ended up in a dustbuster.
But he’d survive it…as long as he didn’t have to deal with that bloody duck.