Confused
Chapter 5 of
“The Evolution of Spike”
By Chani
Buffy stood in front of the crypt door, debating on whether or not to enter. It was the middle of the day. She knew he’d be there. That was why she chose that time to burst into his crypt.
She had to get this out. Had to tell him to stay away from her. What happened between them would never happen again. It was disgusting. He was disgusting. She had told him that the morning after they had…after the incident. But it never hurt to reiterate things to Spike. Especially since he was the most stubborn thing on the face of the planet.
A nagging little voice told her how ridiculous it was to seek him out for the specific purpose of telling him to stay away from her, but she squashed it and convinced herself that she had to do this. She should have done it sooner. And she would have…but…
Her thoughts trailed off when she felt a knot form in her stomach. She refused to admit the real reason she was standing outside his crypt in the middle of the day having an argument with herself. The reason she had to tell him to leave her alone. The reason she had to do it right then and it couldn’t wait a minute longer.
But she hadn’t seen him – or even heard from him – in almost a week. Five days. It had been five days since she woke up in that abandoned house with him. Five days since she felt…no, not gonna go there. Something must be wrong with him. He just didn’t disappear for a week unless he had a reason. He enjoyed annoying her too much to stay away for very long. So something had to be wrong.
Not that she cared, of course. Because she didn’t. Definitely not. She couldn’t stand being in the same room with him, much less think about the fact that she actually made love with him. No. Not made love. Screwed. That had nothing to do with love. It was more like…like…peeing. A bodily function, that’s it. And it wouldn’t happen again. Ever. No matter how much he tried to persuade her.
At that thought, she pushed the door open. “Spike! I don’t know what-” When she saw the state of his crypt, her words cut off abruptly. She was breathing heavily, and it felt as though an unseen weight had settled down on her shoulders. “Spike?”
The panic in her voice wasn’t evident to her, but would have been glaringly obvious to anyone else. But there was no one there to hear it. No sign of him. Just broken glass everywhere. His beloved TV was broken in too many pieces to count. The place was a mess.
She stepped through the rubble, her thoughts immediately drifting to the night they were together and the house that had collapsed around them. This had to be some trick of his. Something to get her riled up. Well, she’d show him riled. This wasn’t funny.
She headed down the stairs, determined to teach the obnoxious blonde vampire a lesson, but once there her self-induced anger dissipated and left her feeling panicked yet again. Her eyes scanned the room a second time, stopping on the bed. It was unmade, but still no Spike. She subconsciously walked toward the bed, trying to create plausible explanations for his absence. And the destruction of his home. She plucked one of the large candles from the table beside his bed and sniffed it. Her eyes fluttered closed as she inhaled the fragrance. Spicy. Musky. She couldn’t pinpoint the scent. It was such a mish-mash of conflicting odors that all it did was confuse her about its true essence. Kind of like Spike.
Her eyes popped open at that thought and she looked around nervously, almost as if she were afraid someone would find out what she was thinking. She looked down at the candle in her hand and frowned. What was it with him and candles, anyway? He had them everywhere. It was like he had some constant plan of seduction. Probably for her. He never gave up. Well, except for the past week.
She sighed, running her hand over the soft sheets. He was fine. She knew it. She could feel it. The mess upstairs was probably just an accident. And the reason he wasn’t there right then was because…because he had gone out and gotten stuck wherever he was because of the sunlight. But where would he have gone?
Panic gave way to anger. He had some explaining to do. He couldn’t just disappear without a word. What if Dawn was in danger and she needed his help? She leaned back on the bed, deciding she’d just wait there for him. Sunset would be in a few hours and she was tired. She hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep since she had been back and a nap sounded really inviting to her. As she snuggled into the soft bed and pulled the covers over her, she wondered briefly if he would get the wrong impression when he found her in his bed. She quickly dismissed it when her head hit the pillow and her eyes closed, ignoring the fact that the scent of him relaxed her more than anything she could imagine.
Besides, if he did get the wrong idea, she’d just set him straight with a hard right to his nose.
That always seemed to work.