Reflections
Chapter 6 of
“Connections”
By Chani
Spike walked to the window, taking a deep breath. He glanced back at Rena, who was sitting
alone on the couch ignoring the chattering group of people around her. He knew the look on her face well—the
withdrawn, cheerless stare focused on nothing in particular—and he didn’t like
it. He never had. “Bloody hell,” he mumbled.
Seeing her brought back too many feelings. He remembered the last time they saw each other as well as she did, but he knew she didn’t understand how difficult it was for him. She was his last tie to humanity. She was the only one left who had really known him as a human. Part of him had wanted to kill her for that. As Angelus had taught him—kill everyone who knew you when you were human, as well as anyone who brings out any humanity whatsoever in you. He had managed to kill almost everyone who had known his human self, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do that to her—much to Angelus’ chagrin. Spike wasn’t sure what had transpired between Angelus and Rena, but the older vampire’s hatred of her was apparent. The only information he was able to get from the poofter was the fact that Rena was immortal. Like he couldn’t have figured that out himself.
When he saw her that night long ago, he made up his mind to
finish her, once and for all. Yet his
emotions betrayed him again, he just couldn’t do it. He missed her, more than he had wanted to admit. Being near her again made him want her, and
he knew she wanted him just as much.
The kiss they shared in the gallery had rekindled their feelings for
each other, and he had to admit, upon reflection, he was elated she had been
hurt and needed to be cared for. It
gave him the excuse he needed to spend time with her. Although he rejected her—twice—for a multitude of reasons, not
the least of which was Dru, he had a feeling he would’ve given into his
feelings if she had still been there when he awoke. His little witch had obviously not known the guilt he felt for
betraying Dru wasn’t enough to dampen his desire for her. He wanted to drown in her, but a part of him
was still angry with Rena for leaving him.
That portion of him wanted to hurt her the same way she had hurt
him. He knew he had accomplished that
when he told her about Dru.
He frowned, biting his lip. Now that he thought about it, he realized
she was the one who had first mentioned Dru’s name. How could she have known?
Spike turned back to Rena and
shook his head sadly. She was still
staring bleakly into space, undoubtedly thinking about that dreadful
night. It was time for the two of them
to talk, to work things out. He had so
many questions for her, and he needed answers.
Twice she ran away from him without so much as a word. Twice they had lost each other. He didn’t want it to happen a third
time. He forced a sly smile as he
walked to the couch and sat beside her.
He would not
lose her again.