The Telling
By Figtoria
His hand felt cool and strong in hers. They looked at one another with a half-smile trying to instill confidence, each into the other, that neither felt.
She pushed open the door and heard the familiar jingle of the bells.
“Hey, Buffy.” Xander waved at her without looking up from the deep, dusty book he was poised over. “Sit down and pull up a tome. Tara has an idea about the guy who was frozen at the bank. We’re back in research mode again.”
Tara too was turning pages and gave only a quick glance up from her book, peering through her bangs at the two who had just entered the magic shop.
It was Willow who first noticed.
“Why are you holding Spike’s hand, Buffy?” Her tone was impossible to read. She sounded curious, but there was an indefinable edge to the question.
All the other heads pouring over books on the table and elsewhere around the room looked up towards the couple.
Dawn pushed back her chair and stared openly.
“Buffy? What’s going on?”
It was Spike who answered, “We have something to tell you.”
Xander sneered, “We?”
Buffy stepped in quickly, “Yes, Xander, we have something to tell you. Which is...well...I guess there’s no easy way to say this. For some time now. Um...it’s just that...Spike...well...Spike and I...we are...well...”
She looked hopefully around the room for a friendly face. Dawn? No, she just looks shocked. Willow? Not friendly, not sure what that look is. Anya looks bored. Xander. The expected outright hostility is plain. Tara...is that sympathy there? Or worry? Damn.
She broke off, unable to find the words or the nerve. Spike nervously took over.
“What Buffy is trying to tell you all, is that we’re...she and I...well...we’re a...a ‘We’.”
Spike looked at Buffy for approval and she gave him a quick smile and a nod, grateful that she wasn’t the one who’d had to say it.
She felt him squeeze her hand reassuringly and she squeezed back while moving unconsciously closer to him. Protected and protecting.
Let the storm begin.
And storm it did. An hour later, the thunder and lightening had passed, though there was a swath of devastation in its path.
“So. That’s it. You’re sleeping with a soulless vampire. You have no intention of stopping and you think that’s not gonna interfere with your ‘vampire slaying’?” Xander was less angry now. He’d entered his sarcastic stage. Buffy felt that was a step forward from 50 minutes earlier when he’d grabbed a stake and flung himself towards Spike and she’d had to sit on Xander until he’d calmed down.
“Look, I know you don’t understand. Honestly, I’m not sure I understand it myself. But it’ll be okay. I do know that.”
Dawn had been moving gradually towards Spike and now stood right beside him. He smiled down at her and tilted his head, “Well Nib...you gonna play stake the Spike, too?”
She rolled her eyes, “Oh Spike...you’re such a dork sometimes. You know I don’t mind. I was the one who first told Buffy that you were in love with her. Like...last year!”
He arched a platinum eyebrow.
“Oh?” He turned his head towards Buffy. “You never told me that, luv? Why did you resist me for so long?” He leered cheekily at her.
It was Buffy’s turn to roll her eyes.
“Well, I don’t think it’s such a bad idea to have Spike as a boyfriend. The Buffybot said that he was a very good lover and that he was quite handsome naked. I’m sure he gives Buffy excellent orgasms.”
The others turned and stared at Anya in utter disbelief. Then, as one, they turned their heads from Anya to Xander.
“I know, I know.” Turning to his future bride, he spoke softly and with great restraint. “Anya, remember how we talked about stuff that is meant for public discussion and stuff that is not?”
She nodded happily.
“That was in the ‘not’ pile. Soooo in the not pile.”
Tara stepped forward from behind Xander and hugged Buffy.
“I hope you know that we’re all j-j-just worried about you. We only want y-y-you to be happy. I’m just not sure that Spike...but...if you’re s-s-sure...then we...”
Her rambling tapered off helplessly, and Buffy hugged her back.
“Thanks, Tara. Thanks for trying to understand. That’s all I’m asking. Just a little tolerance.” Over Tara’s back Buffy’s eyes fell upon the only person in the room who had yet to say a word.
Through the angry blow up and aftermath, Willow had stood silently. Now she was sitting on the step looking off at nothing.
“Will?”
Buffy took a tentative step towards her best friend.
“Will?”
Willow brought her eyes back into focus and turned towards Buffy.
“Buffy, I’m not sure. I don’t know that this will end well. You know I love you...but...Spike?” Her voice fell to a whisper. “Spike? He’s tried to kill you so many times. All of us. Me. Have you forgotten that?”
“Never.” Buffy sat down next to her on the step.
“Willow. Dying...and…well, coming back to life...it changed me. I’m not the same...I don’t think I’ll ever be the person I was. Spike...well...he understands me on a level that no one else ever can, or ever has. We connect. I see him and he sees me. That sounds so lame.”
She let out a hollow laugh.
“But it’s everything. To trust and be trusted. To see and be seen. To know and be known.” She looked up towards Spike. His blue eyes met hers and he squinted a loving smile towards her.
“I know that he loves me, and would never do anything to hurt me or the people I love.”
She stood up and walked towards him with her hands out. He took her hands in his and then gathered her quickly into a quick kiss. She wriggled reluctantly out of his grasp, and as he chuckled smugly, she continued, “NOT that he doesn’t have a loooooooong way to go.” She did her best to look and sound severe, as she glared at him meaningfully. The she turned back towards Willow.
“Can you try, Will? Can you give us a chance?”
The room held its breath waiting for her answer.
“Oh geez...how can I say no to the puppy-dog eyes...” Willow smiled, “Of course I’ll give you two a chance. But!” She turned from the others and looked at Spike fully in the eyes for the first time, “If you do anything to hurt Buffy, or anyone - you will have to deal with me.” Then she turned back to the group, her face an easy smile.
The others exhaled with relief. The storm was well and truly over and the sun was actually peeping up its head. Quiet chattering commenced again and the air itself relaxed and began to move about freely.
Only Spike stood stock still, for only Spike had seen Willow’s eyes as she’d uttered her last sentence to him. Black as night. The power that little witch now wielded was incredible. He turned to Buffy to see if she’d noticed. Buffy was happily bantering with Xander about decorating tips for crypts. Later, he thought to himself. I’ll tell her later. I hate to worry her, but...he shook his fears away for a moment and joined the crowd.
Xander grimaced momentarily when Spike walked up and casually put his arm around Buffy giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze. He grimaced again, as Buffy leaned back against Spike and tilted her lips up at him so they could exchange a quick kiss. Then he grimaced at his own grimacing and realized that it was all going to take some time. Some getting used to. He looked up at...he shuddered...the “happy couple” and noticed for the first time how truly happy Buffy did look. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes were all sparkly. She looked relaxed and…damn it, he had to admit it...happy. He sighed. Well. He’d try, but he wasn’t making any promises.
“Well, that went rather well, don’t you think? Not the big pile of Spikey dust I expected to be!”
Spike tried for some light conversation as the two headed out of the magic shop to do some patrolling. Buffy was so quiet. He hoped she wasn’t changing her mind again. A vamp can only take so much, he thought to himself.
“Buffy? Slayer? Hello? Are you there, luv?”
His coat swooped around behind him, as he jumped in front of her, trying to get her attention.
“What? Oh, sorry Spike...thinking...” She looked somber.
“What is it, pet? You alright?” His voice was so deep and sexy. It never failed to weaken her knees. She smiled at him and he relaxed.
“What is it, pet? You’ve been so quiet ever since we left the Scoobies.”
She put her hands on his chest and stepped in to meet his body with her own. Her face tilted up towards his. “I’ve just been thinking about the best time to tell you this.”
He tensed up, but her soft laugh washed his fears away immediately.
“No, baby, nothing bad...it’s just that,” she bit her lower lip and looked down shyly. “I realized something in the magic shop, but I didn’t want to say it to them until I’d said it to you first.”
“When I was explaining to Willow about us and about how I just know that you will never hurt me or anyone I love...I don’t know how I know – it’s like...Slayer Sense or something.” She laughed softly again. “I also realized something else.”
She looked up into his clear blue eyes, inhaled deeply and said,
“I love you.”
There was no sound. What sound can a non-beating heart make when it bursts from joy?
He leaned into her mouth and hungrily took her soft moist lips into his own. After several sweet minutes, she raised her head and looked into his eyes again, surprised for a moment, but not surprised at all.
She smiled and kissed away his tears.
“After patrol, let’s go to your place,” she breathed softly, “Xander had some really great ideas for decorating the guest crypt. If only he knew what we use it for...we’ll have to hide that stuff when he visits.” She grinned up at him coquettishly.
“Shall he tell him who wears the handcuffs, then?”
“Spike!”
“Yes, pet?”
“Do and you’re in big trouble mister!”
“Promise, luv?”
“Spike!!”
“Yes, luv?”
“Shut up and patrol.”
“Yes, luv. Oh, Xander...”
“Spike!!!”