First Day
Okay, I was at the con and I heard a few spoilers. Nothing I couldn't have figured out for myself, mostly.
Sometimes I think about my first day of kindergarten. Mom held my hand, and Buffy walked beside me, my big fifth grade sister. I was so nervous, but I felt safe. I knew that, even if bad things happened, Buffy would be there in the school, looking out for me.
Of, course, that never really happened. I’m not really her sister, Mom wasn’t really my mom, and I was never a little girl. All a fake. Seems so real, though.
No wonder I’m screwed up.
Whenever I bring up the key thing, Buffy brushes it off. Says it doesn’t matter, that I’m her sister now and that’s what counts. But I know she remembers things different. I know she sees two pasts, one with me and one without. I don’t know how she handles it. Think I’d go nuts. Maybe I’m going nuts anyway.
I might as well. The world did. Big Bad Willow is off in England with Giles. Anya’s dropped the shopkeeper thing, which means I don’t need to work off my debt, but doesn’t stop her from glaring at me every now and then. Xander talks to me, sometimes, but mostly to bash Anya, and Spike.
Spike. That’s the craziest thing of all. I thought he was my friend. I was sure he was one of the good guys. So how could he try to rape my sister? I know, if I ever see him again, I’ll be obligated to slap his face, or punch him in the stomach. I don’t know if I could stand to look at him again. God, I miss him.
My friend Janice moved this summer. Buffy was relieved. So now I have zero friends, and I’m being shipped off to fancy schmantzy big ol’ new Sunnydale High. With picture windows, air-conditioning, state of the art computers, and a complimentary Hellmouth.
Oh, and my sister managed to wrangle a job there. So I get to see her all the time, like I did in kindergarten.
Did I mention my life sucks?