Damphyr
“Is it supposed to be blue or pink, or what?” Buffy Summers asked her best friend Willow.
“Um, neither, I think,” replied the petite redhead. “It has little plus and minus signs. Plus is positive.”
“Then there’s a minus sign?” Buffy asked hopefully.
Willow looked with concern at the little plastic rod. “I think you should look for yourself.”
Buffy picked it up with trepidation. “Why is there a little plus sign? There’s supposed to be a little minus sign.” She took a deep breath and looked at the white rod again. “I was right, then, wasn’t I? I’m not just getting the flu. I’m not late because I’ve been training so hard. I really am pregnant.”
“Now how in hell am I going to tell Spike?”
Spike wasn’t sure which of his homes he liked more - the crypt he had decorated himself or the basement apartment in Buffy’s home complete with blackout curtains. The apartment was certainly more convenient, though the decor wasn’t exactly to his taste. He didn’t tell Buffy though - she had been so excited the day she showed it to him, knowing that he could live with her without worrying about falling asleep in her room and waking up on fire.
At the moment he lay on the bed in his apartment, newly awake for the evening, waiting for Buffy’s return.
Tired of waiting for Buffy, knowing that her sister Dawn was staying over a friend’s house, Spike decided to spend some time in his former home. As he stepped into his crypt’s anteroom, he was delighted to see Buffy sitting in the corner, her arms wrapped around her knees. He was also pleased to see that she had lit all of his vast assortment of candles. Anticipating an evening of romance, he bent down, lifted her chin and kissed her. He was disappointed when she didn’t respond.
Wondering why she looked so distracted, he wrapped his arms around her. “What’s the matter, love? Hard day?”
“You don’t know the half of it,” she replied. “I have something to tell you, and I don’t know how to even start.”
“After all we’ve been through, you know you can tell me anything. Hey, there’s nothing the matter with Little Bit, is there?”
Touched by the concern in his voice, she reassured him. “Dawn’s fine. As far as I know, she had a good day at school and went to sleep over at her friend Jamie’s place. It’s not about Dawn.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, but when she tried to speak, the words wouldn’t come.
Spike looked into her face. “Look at me, Buffy. You know you can tell me anything. You’re starting to scare me. What’s wrong?”
Buffy broke away from him and stood up. Facing him, she blathered, “You know how in England when someone says they’ve been knocked up they mean they got a telephone call? Well I got a call today from a dead rabbit.”
A look of total confusion in his eyes, Spike said, “You couldn’t be more cryptic, could you? I mean, I might be able to understand what you’re talking about. You haven’t had a knock to the head have you? Knock...Knocked up...”
“I’m pregnant.”
Spike’s eyes glazed over for a moment, and then they flashed with anger. “How could you? Who did this to you? I’ll kill him. Bloody hell, Buffy, I love you. I thought you loved me.” He slammed his fist into the stone wall of the crypt, and didn’t seem to notice the blood oozing from his knuckles. Tears were welling up in his eyes. “I love you,” he whispered painfully.
Buffy was angry too. “How could you even think I’d let someone else touch me? There has been no one else. Believe it or not, I am having your baby.” She took him by the shoulders and glared at him with determination. “Your baby.”
“But that’s impossible,” he replied, with less assurance. “I can’t father a child. I’m a vampire.”
“How can you be sure?” she countered. “Has a vampire ever loved a Slayer before?” She realized her faux pas. The last thing she wanted to do was antagonize Spike with memories of the past. “A long term, loving, intimate relationship? A vampire with a chip in his brain that can do God knows what? A Slayer that was resurrected from the dead? We’re looking at a lot of variables here. Please believe me, I know that this child is yours.”
“How do you know that you’re pregnant? Did you see a doctor? Did you just do one of those chemist’s tests? You could be wrong. It could be a false alarm,” he grasped at straws.
“Yes,” she answered, “I did a drug store test. Then I went right away to see my family doctor. I’m as pregnant as pregnant can be, so you’d better learn to live with it.” Buffy looked defiantly at Spike, for the first time noticing the blood on his hand. “You’re hurt. You’re bleeding.” She ripped a piece from her sleeve and wrapped it around the wound. “You make me so angry sometimes.”
Tenderly, Spike placed his hand on Buffy’s cheek and stroked it. “A baby. My baby. How bloody marvelous.” He enfolded her in his arms. And this time, his tears were tears of joy.
“No, Giles, I said baby.” Buffy was frustrated by the bad connection to Britain “Yes, I said I’m having a baby. What? I don’t care if a Slayer has never been pregnant before. Giles, are you hyperventilating? Take a deep breath. Spike. Of course I said Spike. Good grief, Giles, I know he’s a vampire.”
Willow took the phone from her friend’s hand. “Hi Giles, it’s Willow. Giles? Say something, Giles. Yes, she is. I was there when the little plus sign turned up. Plus sign. Don’t worry. We can patrol. We did it before. We’ll all look after her. Well, you can come back if you want, but I think we can handle things here. Yes, I know she said Spike.” She put her hand over the mouthpiece and turned to Buffy, “I think he’s taking it pretty well.”
Buffy snuggled next to Spike on the bed of his downstairs apartment. As the sun set, he woke with delight to find her next to him. She kissed him gently and rested her head on his cool marble chest.
“So, how did the call to your watcher go?” he asked.
“Ex-watcher,” she replied, “and it was fine.”
“Fine, as in he didn’t have a heart attack?” Spike knew that the news would be very upsetting to Giles, who had never approved of his relationship with the Slayer.
“He was…concerned. He’s afraid that the baby won’t be…normal.”
Spike held her closer, and stroked her forehead. Kissing her brow, he replied, “I know that you’re worried, love. There are so many things to think about with any baby. And we aren’t just any parents. But I have a good feeling about this, that everything is going to be all right. No matter what, I love you, and I love our child.” He gently placed his hand on her abdomen. “Not even a little bump yet, and already making so much trouble. It has to be my baby.”
Buffy placed her hands on top of his and smiled. “I want so much for everything to be okay. I never really thought about having children. I’m the Slayer. I never thought that I’d have a future. Now all I can think about is having a future with you and this baby.” Her eyes clouded with concern. “But I have to be realistic. This is not a normal pregnancy, and I can’t go on seeing my family doctor. There may be too many unanswerable questions.”
“Giles knows a doctor here in Sunnydale that is familiar with the Hellmouth,” she continued, “and vampires, and all the strange things that happen here. He gave me her number so that I can make an appointment. I’ll let her check me out before I get too optimistic.”
“Make it an evening appointment, love,” he said, “I want to be there.”
Buffy smiled, rolled over and looked into her lover’s eyes. “There is something else worrying me. If my father finds out that I’m pregnant, he’ll want to take Dawn away from me. I couldn’t stand to lose her. There is no way that he could handle an unwed mother as a daughter. I’d lose my sister, and I’d lose whatever meager relationship I have with him. He’s going to find out, though. What am I going to do?”
Spike kissed her and smiled. “That’s easy, love. Marry me.”
Her hand tightly clasped in Spike’s, Buffy knocked on the door to Dawn’s room. “Come in,” the younger Summers sibling called. Buffy walked through the door with trepidation, Spike at her side. Dawn had already been through so much in her young life, how would she deal with these changes?
“Dawnie,” Buffy said, “We need to talk to you.”
Dawn looked up from her homework and her face clouded. Obviously there was something wrong. In the town of Sunnydale, something could be a great deal. “There isn’t a monster in the house is there? Did someone die? What’s the matter with you two?”
Buffy hurried over to her sister to reassure her. “There isn’t anything wrong, not really. We’ve just got something to tell you, and we aren’t sure how to do it.”
Dawn looked up into Buffy’s face. “You aren’t breaking up, are you? I mean, I really like having Spike here all the time. You’re good for each other, you really are.”
“I’m glad you think so,” Buffy replied. She took a deep breath and plunged ahead. “How would you feel about being an aunt? And a sister-in-law?”
Dawn stared first at Buffy, then at Spike. “Are you? You’re not. Really?” Her face broke into a wide grin. “Cool!”
She jumped up, giving her two favorite people a big hug. “I get to be a bridesmaid. And I don’t change diapers.”
Buffy, dressed in a short white lace dress, and her sister Dawn met Willow and their friend Anya in the front foyer of Sunnydale City Hall. “Where’s Xander?” asked Buffy of Anya, who was usually at his side.
Anya, known for her forthright answers, replied, “He isn’t coming. He says he doesn’t trust Spike and he won’t watch you throw your life away. I’m here, though. I like to watch weddings.”
Buffy reached out for Willow’s hand and tried not to cry. Xander and Willow had been her best friends since she had transferred to Sunnydale High years earlier, and the thought of not having him here for this most important day hurt her more than she would have expected. “If he isn’t going to support me, or trust me, I don’t need him here,” she stated defiantly. “Thank you for coming, Anya.”
“So where’s Spike?” Anya queried. “He didn’t get cold feet - I mean colder than usual, vampire-wise. I hope he shows up; I bought this dress just to wear today.”
A voice spoke behind Buffy, “God, you’re beautiful.” Turning around, she let out a gasp of surprise. There was Spike, not in his regular leather-coated attire, but wearing a simple black suit.
Buffy smiled, “So are you.”
“Well then,” the groom said, “let’s get this show on the road.” The quintet made their way to the room where the civil ceremony would take place. He pulled the marriage license from his pocket.
“How did you get that without any documents?” Willow asked Spike quietly. “I mean, you don’t have a birth certificate or citizenship papers.”
“Vampire black market,” he replied. “We have some great forgers. The license is real, though. Buffy and I picked it up together.”
Willow looked at the document. “I’ve always wanted to know your last name.”
Spike snatched it out of her hand. “Never mind,” he said, “It’s going to be Summers now. That’s my family, and that’s the name I’m taking.”
Soon the ceremony began. The bride heard the officiator ask, “Do you William take this woman Buffy?” and heard him answer, “I do,” and she knew she had answered the same to the question, “Do you Buffy…” but most of the rest was a blur until she felt Spike’s lips on hers. Despite all the odds, and all the reasons against it that she had battled with over the last few weeks, she, Buffy the vampire slayer, was the wife of William the Bloody aka Spike the vampire. She couldn’t be happier.
As the months passed, Buffy became acclimatized to her changing life. Apart from the occasional vampire she was forced to fight, luckily without incident, she came to enjoy her more relaxed evenings. Her friends easily were able to keep up nightly patrols, since demonic activity over the Hellmouth was at a wane. She was enjoying her monthly prenatal visits to her obstetrician as she tracked the progress of the child growing inside her.
“All ready to see your baby?” Dr. Marley Hall asked. Usually the sonogram would have been the job of an assistant, but because of the unusual nature of Buffy’s pregnancy, the doctor chose to keep all aspects of the appointments to herself. She squirted a bit of gel over Buffy’s expanded belly. “This won’t hurt, but it is a little cold.”
Spike squeezed his wife’s hand tightly at the head of the examining table. He hadn’t articulated his fears to her, but this was the moment of truth. Whatever the sonogram would reveal, he would be there for her, as she was for him.
Dr. Hall ran the scanner over the anxious young woman’s abdomen. “Let me look at the screen first, so I can show you what to look for. It isn’t an obvious picture.” She turned towards the monitor. “Yes, there you go. Head, feet, hands, body. All parts accounted for.” She smiled at Buffy’s obvious relief.
Buffy and Spike stared at the screen as the doctor pointed out the baby’s location. Spike kissed Buffy’s head, and whispered to her, “I’d like to say it’s a beautiful baby, but…”
Buffy whispered back, “It looks like a blob. As long as it’s a healthy blob.”
“You can push now, Buffy,” Dr. Hall encouraged her patient. “It won’t be long now.” Buffy bore down hard and pushed. Even with her slayer stamina, she was starting to feel exhaustion from the long labor.
“You can do it love, you can do it,” Spike repeated as a mantra. He was grateful that the delivery room had no windows, since he had been coaching all night and now long into the day.
“Good, Buffy, good. I can see the head,” Dr. Hall told her.
“He’s got a head!” Buffy exclaimed happily.
“Keep pushing,” the doctor repeated. “Almost there, now, almost there. One more big push.” With that push the baby slid into the doctor’s waiting hands. “Very good, Buffy. Look, she’s beautiful. Perfect,” she said softly, “Perfect.”
Spike was being driven mad by the scent of the blood permeating the room, but he focused on the baby the doctor was holding. “And she’s alright? She’s…normal?”
He could see the doctor’s eyes smiling above her surgical mask. “Better than normal. You and your wife have a lovely little daughter.”
“Spike, it’s a girl. We have a girl,” Buffy cried. She saw the tears in Spike’s eyes as he kissed her through his mask.
“You did it, love. You were bloody amazing.”
Buffy reached out her hands to the doctor. “Can I hold her? Please?” The doctor placed the baby in her mother’s arms as Spike looked on in joy.
“Now let me clean her up a bit and you can try to nurse her.” The doctor smiled into the baby’s face. “She really is a lovely little thing. You both must be very proud.”
Buffy reclined on the bed in her hospital room and dozed lightly. Everything was like a dream. She opened her eyes to a knock at her door. Willow and Dawn stood by her side, beaming. “The doctor said only two of us at a time, so we get first shift. Besides, I get family privilege,” Dawn said, with a grin that threatened to divide her face in two. “We’re so happy for you, Buffy. Does she look like me?”
Willow looked around the room. “Where’s Spike? I want to congratulate the happy papa.”
Buffy pointed to the window. “I’d rather my husband wasn’t a pile of ash, thank you. He was pretty tired, being up most of the day, so I sent him away to get some rest. He’s probably flaked out in a broom closet somewhere. He’ll be back at sundown.”
“Did you guys see her yet? She’s so beautiful.”
Dawn replied, “No, she wasn’t in the nursery when we looked. They’re probably weighing her, or giving her shots, or something. So, what are you calling my niece?”
Buffy smiled. “I want to call her Billie, after her father, but he wants to call her Joyce. It’s wonderful how much Mom meant to him.” She smiled wistfully, wishing her mother could be here with her. “So we’re going with Billie Joyce Summers.”
Willow said, “I’ll let Dawn stay with you. There’s someone outside who really wants to see you. I’ll be back later.” She squeezed her friend’s hand and went out into the corridor. “Your turn,” she said.
A young man walked sheepishly into the room. “Xander,” Buffy exclaimed. “Oh Xander, it’s so great to see you.”
Xander Harris didn’t feel great. He felt guilty for neglecting his friend when she had needed him. “Hi Buffy,” he mumbled. He looked into her eyes. “I’m so sorry. I’ve been such a total jerk. Don’t forgive me, because I’m not worth it. Just let me be here, please.”
“I have missed you so much,” Buffy cried. “I know you had a hard time, and you couldn’t fake being happy for me. I also know that you’ve been out patrolling every night, putting your life on the line. Now come and give me a big hug before I slug you.”
Xander rushed to his friend and embraced her tightly. “I am happy for you. I really am.”
The three inhabitants of the room were so engrossed that they didn’t hear Dr. Hall at the door. “I’m sorry, but your visitors will have to leave. I have to speak to Mrs. Summers.”
Dawn and Xander left, as Buffy waved them goodbye. “See you both later,” she called.
Dr. Hall came to her bedside. Buffy’s eyes misted with tears as she saw the look on her physician’s face. “Mrs. Summers,” she said sadly, “I’m afraid I have some bad news.”
At sundown Spike returned to Buffy’s room, well rested and peaceful. He had never hoped to be so happy.
He looked at the tears staining Buffy’s cheeks and his heart froze. She was crying, whimpering, like one who had sobbed until there were no more tears to give. “Billie?” he murmured.
“She’s dead.” With the words she dared not speak the floodgates opened again, and the tears flowed once more.
“But how?” Spike whispered. “She was fine. The doctor said she was perfect. She looked fine.”
“She doesn’t know. One moment Billie was okay, and the next her heart had stopped. Dr. Hall said she just wasn’t meant to be.” Buffy tried to curb her tears, but all she could feel was numb. “Oh God,” she sighed, “I want my baby.”
Spike dropped to his knees beside his wife’s hospital bed and cried. He held his hands to his face as tears streamed between his fingers. Buffy reached out and took his hand in hers, pulling him onto the bed beside her. Curled together, burying themselves in grief, they wept.
“I want to see Dr. Hall,” Spike demanded, barely containing his rage before the nurse at the call desk. “I want to see her now.” Something hadn’t made sense to him. Why hadn’t she been back to see them both? All through the pregnancy she had done her utmost to involve Spike in every aspect. She knew that he was a vampire, and that he wouldn’t have been back to Buffy’s room until nightfall. And why had the baby died so suddenly, without warning? No, something didn’t add up.
The nurse was used to irate patients and their families and wasn’t easily intimidated, but Spike’s demeanor led her to think that she had best be honest with him. “Dr. Hall isn’t here. She told me that she had an emergency and left hours ago. I don’t know where she is. She isn’t answering her pager.”
Spike looked her in the eye determinately. “Now, this is very important. Was she carrying anything with her?”
“She had a basket with some blankets in it. It made a little mewing sound,” The nurse replied. “She told me that she was taking a stray cat she had found to one of the patients in pediatrics. I thought it was very nice of her, really, thoughtful.”
Spike slammed his fist onto the desk. “Bloody hell!” he shouted.
Dr. Marley Hall placed the basket she was carrying onto her hotel room floor, beside a well-stocked diaper bag. She knelt down beside the basket and peeled back the blankets, to reveal the healthy, sleeping baby. “Hey, little one,” she said, “Say hello to your new mommy. My own little damphyr. Daddy was a vampire, Mama was a Slayer. Just what surprises do you have in store for me, eh?”
The rest of the staff were out at Angel Investigations so Buffy’s vampire ex-boyfriend was holding down the store. He didn’t mind; even though Wesley now ran the agency, many clients still wanted to see Angel himself. He looked up from his desk, shocked to see the last two people he would ever have expected step through his door.
The woman Angel loved stood before him, her husband’s arm wrapped around her shoulder. “Angelus,” Spike said, “We need a detective.”
“Ah, hi, yeah, a detective, um, you’re in the right place.” Angel attempted to regain his composure. “Welcome to Angel Investigations. I wish I could get you a coffee, but Cordy’s gone out to grab some dinner and the boys are out demon hunting.” He stepped out from behind the lobby desk and put his arms around Buffy. “It’s so good to see you. You too, Spike,” he said, without conviction.
He kissed the top of Buffy’s head. “Sweetheart, I heard about the baby. I’m so sorry.” He turned to Spike. “I really am sorry. It was a terrible thing. It must hurt like hell to go through everything, and hope for the best, and then lose her. Do they know what went wrong?”
Spike took a deep unneeded breath and looked up into his old adversary’s face. “She isn’t dead,” he hissed. “She’s out there, somewhere. That’s why we need you. Do you really think I’d come looking to you for help if we weren’t desperate?”
Angel looked confused, “But I heard...”
Buffy took Spike’s arm for support. Every move she made these days took supreme effort. “I know what the hospital records say. I know what the death certificate says. But Angel, believe me,” she looked with pleading into his eyes, “Our little girl isn’t dead.”
Cordelia Chase looked with contempt at Angel as she handed Buffy her coffee and Spike his tea. “I know you can’t, or won’t, figure out how the coffee maker works, but you couldn’t plug in the kettle and drop a teabag in a cup?” She had been delighted to walk in the door with her Chinese takeout and see Buffy standing in the foyer. Dropping the bag on the lobby desk, she embraced her old friend as her face lit up with a wide, genuine smile. She was less pleased to see Spike standing beside his wife, and for the life of her she could not understand what Buffy saw in him. She was used to masking her true feelings for the sake of popularity, so she didn’t let her displeasure show.
“So, you say you think the baby was kidnapped. What makes you think so?” she asked.
“There are too many unanswered questions.” Spike answered. “The doctor was the only one at the hospital we dealt with, even in the delivery room. We thought at the time that she was protecting my identity, or concerned that the baby might be, I don’t know, some kind of...”
“She was beautiful,” interjected Buffy. “She had round little cheeks and soft curly brown hair. I nursed her once, and she sucked like a pro.” Angel looked uncomfortable. “I swear that there was nothing wrong with her.”
“Yeah, love, she was that,” Spike added, “a real beauty.” He brought Buffy’s hand to his lips and kissed it gently. “Any ways, this Dr. Hall didn’t come back to speak to me, which seemed strange, and when I went to confront her, she had left the hospital. She hasn’t come back. At first they said she was on a emergency, then taking an ‘extended leave of absence’. Bloody crap.”
“And the real clicker - she was carrying a basket the nurse said was ‘mewing’. Thought it was a bloody cat, she did.” Spike gripped the back of Buffy’s chair until his knuckles went even whiter than usual. “It wasn’t a cat, Angelus. It was our Billie.”
Angel wasn’t convinced that the couple wasn’t seeing only what they wanted to see, to deal with their grief, but the story had enough loose ends to bear investigation. “All right, we’ll take the case. I’m sure Wesley will agree. No charge.” He looked at Cordelia to see if she would object. Her eyes glistened with tears.
“No charge,” she said.
Gun and Wesley entered the hotel lobby and saw Buffy and Spike sitting on the couch together. Angel was standing in front of them talking, and Cordy and Fred, who had joined them, were sitting on chairs. It looked like an intimate circle, and they wondered what was going on. Buffy looked up at Wesley and smiled. She got up and walked over to them, but Wesley put up his hand in warning. “Don’t touch me, Buffy. I’m covered in invisible Renjah demon blood. Stings like the devil. Wonderful to see you.”
Angel looked at the disheveled pair and gestured towards the elevator. “You two shower up and we’ll explain what’s going on when you get back.”
Wesley turned to go, but Gunn hesitated. “First, introduce me to your friends. I hate to be out of the loop.”
“Buffy,” said Angel, “you’ve heard of. This is Spike, one of my...family. Buffy’s husband.” He was surprised that the word came out as easily as it did. He was certainly not used to the concept.
“Oh great,” said Gunn, “another good vampire.”
“Watch it, mate,” Spike replied, “I don’t like to be insulted.”
“Don’t worry,” Buffy said with a smile, “Spike is mostly harmless.” He glared at his wife. “Actually, he’s a big, bad vampire, and you don’t want to cross him, but be nice to me and everything will be okay.”
“That’s better, love,” Spike said.
Gunn shook his head and walked towards the elevator. “There have got to be other jobs out there.”
Buffy looked around the hotel lobby with appreciation. She ran her hand over the antique wooden door trim. “I’m impressed, Angel. This place is so beautiful. I can certainly see why you’d want to live here.”
“Care for a tour, Buffy?” Cordelia asked. “Spike?”
Spike looked at Cordy and declined. “Maybe later, luv. Have a few things I want to go over with ol’ Angelus first.”
Fred jumped up excitedly. “Oh, Buffy, you’ll just love it here. It’s a wonderful place. Hardly ever any demons, and the rooms are so roomy, but not too roomy, and there are so many of them...”
Cordy smiled. “Come on, Fred. We’ll give her the grand tour.” Cordy linked one arm in Buffy’s as Fred took the other, beaming at her new friend.
After they had left, Angel turned to Spike and asked, “Care for a drink? You must be hungry.”
Spike smiled, “Don’t mind if I do.”
Angel led Spike into the big hotel kitchen and opened the door of the industrial refrigerator. Reaching in the back, behind the food, he pulled out a red liquid-filled bottle. He grabbed a few glasses from the cupboard, poured the blood into them and put them in the microwave to slightly heat them. He then carried them out into the hotel bar.
Spike sat down at the table across from Angel and picked up his glass. He held it to the light. “Nice color,” he said. He took a sip. “Bloody hell, mate, this is human!”
Angel smiled. “I have a contact in the Red Cross. I pick up bags that aren’t quite up to their standards. Hate to see things go to waste.”
Taking another sip, Spike sighed in appreciation. “Delicious. It’s been a while. I’m touched that you brought out the company stuff for me.” He pointed his finger at Angel. “Just don’t tell Buffy.”
“Deal,” Angel replied, “As long as you don’t tell Cordelia, Wesley or Gunn. Especially Gunn. They just wouldn’t understand.”
“Ah, well,” said Spike, “how could they?” He paused for a moment, as though he wanted to say something to Angel that he shouldn’t. “There’s another thing I don’t want you telling Buffy.”
“What’s that?” asked Angel.
Spike stared at the blood as he swirled it in his glass. “When we find Dr. Hall, I am going to kill her.”
Angel was concerned that Buffy and Spike were tired and preoccupied, but Fred insisted that was the perfect reason for a trip to Caritas. “They have to meet Lorne,” she said. “He’s just so cool. And I want to sing again. It will be fun. Come on guys, please?” When she looked at him with pleading in her eyes, it was hard for Angel to deny her.
“What’s Caritas,” asked Spike, “and who is this Lorne bloke?”
“It’s a karaoke bar,” replied Cordelia, “and Lorne runs it. It’s a pretty cool place.”
“Ah, karaoke, no thanks, luv, but I think I’ll pass.” Spike said with distain. “Think I’d rather stake myself than listen to a bunch of no-talent wankers ruining some perfectly lousy songs.”
“I’d like to go,” said Buffy. “If Fred thinks it would be fun. God knows I could use some of that. Anyway, Fred really wants to.”
“Well,” replied Spike, “If you want to go, count me in.”
Angel thought of Spike’s willingness to follow Dru wherever she wanted to lead him. He was concerned that Spike may not have changed as much as Buffy believed.
“I’ll pass,” said a newly scrubbed Gunn. “There are a few memories there I can do without. Maybe next time.”
The rest piled into Angel’s car and headed for Caritas.
“Angel!” cried Lorne, the karaoke demon. “Welcome. Hey, Fred and Cordelia, my favorite pretty women. Wesley, how’s it going? And look, you’ve brought me some new talent.”
“Lorne,” said Cordelia, “this is Buffy and Spike, friends from Sunnydale.”
Spike shook the unexpected demon’s hand. This was certainly unlike any karaoke bar he had heard of. The smiling bright green demon in his shiny purple suit reminded him of the Joker in that Batman movie. He looked about the lounge and saw with surprise a familiar face. “Get us a table, love,” he said to Buffy, “I’ll be right over.”
He sauntered over to a side table where sat a large, lumpy gray demon with horny protrusions projecting from its cheeks. “Garko, ol’ mate!” called Spike, “ Long time no see!”
The demon grinned up at the vampire. “Spike! Wow! How long has it been? About forty years? Is Dru here with you? I’d love to see her again.”
Much as he was happy to see his old chum, Spike realized that such meetings were usually awkward. “No, mate. Dru and I parted company quite a while ago. But, onward and upward I say. See the little blonde sitting at that table?” He held up his left hand and pointed to the ring on his third finger. “That’s my bird.”
“Ooh, pretty,” replied Garko. “Married eh? Hey, she’s human, isn’t she? Spike, you are still the one for surprises.”
“What can I say, Garko? I’m a fool for love. Anyway, great to see you. Maybe we can chat again before I head home. Got to get back to the little woman.” Spike walked over and sat at the table with the others. He noticed with chagrin that Buffy was studying the karaoke book section marked ‘duets’. “I hope you aren’t in that section on my account,” he said to Buffy.
“You have to sing,” enthused Fred. “Everyone does. It’s fun. When your done everyone claps, even if you aren’t any good. It’s a great ego booster,” she said, looking down shyly.
“Hey, you don’t need to worry about that, Fred,” Angel said, putting his arm around her shoulder. “I like your voice.”
Cordelia shot him a glance. “I don’t think she’s talking about herself, Mandy boy.”
“Look here, honey,” Buffy said to Spike, “they have stuff from Moulin Rouge. We know all of them enough to sing.”
Cordelia looked at Spike, confusion on her face. “You like Moulin Rouge?”
“Buffy made me watch it, as soon as it came out on video. Wasn’t my idea,” Spike replied, wishing his wife would keep quiet.
Buffy was undeterred. “And then he made us watch it over again. We must have seen it, like, a few dozen times.” She pointed to the song list. “We could sing that.”
Spike looked at the page. “All right, love, one song. But if any of you lot have any comments, I’m gonna forget about this chip in my head.” Together they made their way to the stage, and picked up their mikes, as the music to ‘Come What May’ began. Spike started, “Never knew I could feel like this, like I’ve never seen the sky before. Want to vanish inside your kiss, everyday I love you more and more...”
“Hey, cried Cordelia, “Spike can sing!”
“Yeah,” added Fred, looking a bit starstruck, “and he’s really cute too.”
It was Buffy’s turn, “Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place, suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace…”
Angel was mesmerized.
She has a beautiful voice, he thought. I never knew.
As they sang, he filled The Host in on the situation.
“Come what may,” they sang, “Come what may. I will love you, until my dying day...”
Angel turned to Lorne. “Well,” he asked, “what do you think?”
“I think,” replied the demon, “that those two kids are crazy mad in love. They’re also hurting very deeply. I’ve seen less pain than that pull apart some pretty happy couples. They’re living in limbo. Dead or alive, find that baby, and find it soon.”
Buffy woke in the big, comfy bed, and wondered what time it was. The blackout blinds obscured any daylight that might have come through the windows. She pushed herself over Spike’s inert form to read the clock on the bureau. “11:03 am. Time to get up.” she said to herself. She was grateful that no one had wakened her; she had been exhausted. She knew that Spike would be unconscious until sundown unless he was awakened prematurely, and she had no intention of doing so. She kissed him on the chest. “My sleeping beauty,” she thought.
Lying next to him, she thought back to the first night they had made love. It was different than anything she had experienced before. Angel had been so passionate, but she was inexperienced and insecure. Riley had been all about the physical, though she knew deep down that was all that she had to give him. Spike was so unexpected. He was gentle, more so than she would have imagined, and she felt he was literally worshipping her with his body.
Afterwards, she had felt his face and the moisture coming from his eyes. “You’re crying,” she said with shock, as she kissed away the tears.
“I didn’t know,” he said softly, “I didn’t know this was how it was supposed to be. Harmony, well, that was just sex. And Dru was so cruel, and everything was a game to her. I just thought that’s what love was.” Buffy looked at him, her eyes wide. It hadn’t occurred to her before that in his whole long life, mad Drusilla was the only woman he had been with before Harmony. She knew that Harmony meant nothing. “I loved Dru so much,” he continued, “and this is the first time I really believe that I have been loved back. At least a little.”
“A lot,” replied Buffy, tears forming in her eyes now. “With all my heart.”
Sweet as the memories were, Buffy reckoned that she really should be getting up. Quietly sliding from the bed, she went into the bathroom for her morning ablutions. If she was going to find her baby, she couldn’t spend the whole day in bed. And she was going to find the baby.
“Well, little one, let’s see whether you’ve gained any.” The ex-Dr. Hall put the too lethargic baby onto the weigh scale and adjusted the sliding weight. “Shit. You’re still losing. This won’t do, it won’t do at all. You are going to make some very nasty men very angry at mommy.” She took Billie from the scale and laid her back in the bassinette. She unwrapped the bandages from the baby’s hands and inspected the blisters there. “Healing a bit, but not as quick as I’d hoped,” she said to herself. She still kicked herself for taking the baby out in a snuggly pack and leaving her hands exposed, though she had applied sunscreen. Although the tiny hands weren’t about to burst into flame, they did prove hypersensitive to the sun’s rays, and when they came back inside a nasty burn had turned to blisters. “Ah well,” the doctor had said, “at least that’s one experiment I won’t have to do.”
“The formula I’m feeding her doesn’t seem to be making her thrive. I must be missing something.” She took a hypodermic from the drawer of the change table and inserted it into the crying baby’s vein for yet another blood test.
She prepared a slide with a drop of the blood and looked at it under the microscope. “What am I missing?” she asked herself. “Of course,” she tapped herself on the forehead. “She doesn’t just need mother’s milk. You, my darling,” she called to the baby, “need something a little more from your mama.”
She stepped to her telephone and dialed the familiar long distance number. “Hello. Yes. I need some assistance, someone strong. Someone who can get the best of the Slayer. Let me explain what I need...”
Cordelia lay on the hotel lobby floor, writhing in pain. For the first time, Spike could sympathize with the girl he had always considered shallow. From all accounts, her headaches were at least as bad as the ones the chip gave him, but she carried on and willingly received her visions. You had to admire her for that.
“Bad.” she moaned. “Big, hairy, claws, lots of blood...I can’t see where. Think I’ll throw up. Ugly, ugly demon. Oh god, there are children.” Like a shot, the visions left her, but her head still throbbed, and she felt so weak.
“We need to know where, Cordelia,” Wesley said to the prostrate girl, “How can we find this thing?”
“I told you,” grimaced Cordelia. “I don’t know where it is. I think I can find it if I go with you.”
Angel worried about taking her outside in her condition, but he knew she couldn’t be stopped, even if they had wanted to stop her. They needed her direction. “Okay, we’re off. Do you want to join in, Spike, Buffy?”
Spike smiled at the prospect of joining in on the kill. He turned to Buffy and asked, “Fancy a bit o’ mayhem, love? Might be just the thing.”
Buffy shook her head in the negative. “You go, Spike. It will do you good. I’ll stay here and keep Fred company. Take care, all of you.” Spike worried about his wife and her lack of interest in fighting dark forces. It had once been her great adrenaline rush, and he knew she had loved it. Since Billie was gone, the fight had gone out of her. Still, no need to stay with her if Fred was there, and he really wanted to join the others. He needed to kick something.
He kissed Buffy goodbye, and followed the other demon hunters out the door. Fred grinned at Buffy. “You want to play Scrabble?”
“No thanks,” said Buffy, “too much like spelling. Which is too much like school. Why don’t we just talk? Why don’t you tell me all about Fred.”
The gang burst through the door, tired and messy, but exhilarated. Gunn was slapping Spike on the back, “Man, you were great,” Cordy was walking arm in arm with Angel and Wesley was beaming.
“Just think,” he said, “we got there in time to save all those children. And what a fight.” He turned to Spike, “Ever think of joining a detective firm? We certainly made good use of you tonight. I can offer you a very poor wage, and lots of fighting. Lots of personal satisfaction.” But Spike wasn’t listening.
Fred was sitting on the corner of the couch, picking at the fibers and looking distraught. “Where’s Buffy?” he asked her.
“She went out,” replied Fred. “I was in the bathroom and the phone rang, and when I got out she was gone.”
Angel went over to the phone and rewound the tape machine that recorded all incoming calls. When he pressed ‘play’ an electronic voice said, “We have her. Meet me outside the hotel and I’ll take you to her.” The recording clicked off.
Everyone looked stricken, and Spike hit the wall with his fist. “Stupid girl! It’s a bloody trap! God, Buffy, why didn’t you wait for me?”
While checking his usual sources, Gunn got lucky. “I think we’ve found her. My old gang picked up a young blonde woman in an alley about half an hour ago. They’ve taken her to the headquarters. The description sounds like Buffy.”
They all piled into Angel’s car and drove to Gunn’s old neighborhood. “Let me go in and get her,” he said. “I’ll bring her out if it’s Buffy.”
“No,” said Spike. “She’s my wife. I’m going in with you.”
“That’s a very bad idea.” replied Gunn.
“He’s right,” Angel affirmed. “They have a big hate on for vampires, any vampire. Saying you’re Gunn’s friend won’t cut you any slack.”
Spike ignored them both. “I’m going in.”
“Alright,” said Gunn, “It’s your funeral. But please, don’t let on that you’re a vampire. They’ll dust first and ask questions later.”
Gunn entered his old headquarters with a sigh. He knew that he wasn’t welcome here anymore, since his acquaintance with Angel, and since standing against them in the fight at Caritas, where many demons had been slaughtered. Still, he had enough history for them to let him get Buffy and get out. He led Spike though the entrance. “Yo, guys. It’s me.”
“Who’s the albino?” one of the gang asked with suspicion.
“This is...”
“William. William Summers,” Spike continued. “We think it’s my wife that you picked up. How is she?”
Another vampire hunter gestured towards the couch against the wall. “She’s over there.”
Buffy sat on the couch with a dazed expression on her face. Spike raced over and took her in his arms. “Are you alright, pet? Did they hurt you?”
She looked into his concerned eyes and tried to smile. “I was such an idiot. I fought one of them, but another came up behind me and put something over my face, and I passed out. I woke up here. Some Slayer I am.”
Spike looked at her intently. He whispered in her ear, “You’re down a quart, love. Someone’s siphoned you off.”
Buffy reached for her neck in horror, feeling for bite marks. “Not there, love. Look.” He tenderly touched the crook of her arm, where a puncture mark was surrounded by a spreading bruise.
Gunn was impatient to get Spike out of there. He was rushing them out the door when one of the gang came in. “Hey, I know that guy. His name is Spike. He’s a vamp bastard. Killed a friend of mine five years ago.” He pulled a stake from his pocket and prepared to strike.
With lightening speed, Buffy snatched the stake from his hand and placed it against the vampire hunter’s chest. “The first person to make a move against my husband dies. I’ve seen what one of these does to a human chest, and it isn’t pretty. Now let us go quietly before you’re all sorry.” She turned her head to look at the others while keeping the stake poised. “You may have heard of me. They call me The Slayer.”
“Let them go, man,” said the new gang leader. “It isn’t worth it. But Gunn, you will never, I repeat never, come into this building again. This time, it is over.”
Marcia Evans, formerly Marley Hall, opened Billie’s bottle and added a teaspoon of her mother’s blood to the formula. “There, there, little one, I’m sure you’ll be feeling much better soon.” The baby sucked vigorously at the nipple. “Yes, little one, I think that’s just what the doctor ordered.”
“Do you think the baby needs a transfusion?” Buffy asked with concern. “That there’s something wrong with her? Why else would anyone want my blood? They knew about Billie. Knew I’d throw caution to the wind to find out anything about her.” Buffy sat in a chair in Angel’s lobby. Spike stood behind her protectively, grasping her hand firmly.
“Don’t worry, Buffy,” said Wesley, attempting to be the voice of reason. “If they need the blood for the baby, then she’s alive. And I don’t think they have taken her too far away. They’ve moved too quickly. I was afraid that this doctor could have gone anywhere in the world, but I hope now that they’ve stayed here in California.”
“To be honest, it won’t be that easy to find her. My contact at the bank would confirm that a wire transfer was made into Hall’s account two weeks before Billie’s birth, and that the doctor withdrew three million dollars in cash a week later. With that much cash, a person could set up a whole new identity, live quite comfortably, and practically drop off the face of the earth. That much money could buy great deal of fraudulent identification, and if they kept the cash without depositing it, only using it as needed, it would be virtually impossible to trace.” Wesley refused to be defeated. “Don’t give up hope yet, though. Every perfect plan has a flaw. We just have to find it.”
“Who wired the money?” asked Angel.
“My source wouldn’t say,” replied Wesley. “Just the amount of information she has already given me could cost her job. Banks are very sticky about confidentiality.” He leaned over and took Buffy’s hand. “Think back. Was there any thing, any clue? How did you find this doctor; know she would be sympathetic to your particular concerns?”
Buffy stared at him in shock. How could she have been so blind? It was staring her right in the face. “Giles. She knows Giles.”
“Thank you,” said Wesley, “that is rather a big help.” He walked over to the phone and dialed Giles number in England. “Since he’s been back we’ve kept in touch. He’s been into some rather unusual circumstances back home.” He spoke into the mouthpiece, “Hello, Giles. Yes, fine thank you. Buffy and Spike are here. No, he’s been fine, quite helpful really. I need to know something. That Dr. Hall you put Buffy in touch with...how do you know her? Really? Oh, wonderful, I didn’t know. Do you have the mailing address? Let me write it down. Marvelous. Yes, it could be a help. They’re fine. Coping as well as can be expected. I may have news for you soon. Righto.”
Cordelia looked at Wesley with anticipation. “Well? Did he actually have her address?”
“Well,” replied Wesley, “No. I had thought that he might have known her through some psychic society, or something of the like, but it appears that they are both members of TARSAS.”
“Tarsas?” asked Cordy, “what the hell is tarsas?”
“Yeah, mate,” interjected Spike, “in English.”
“Oh,” said Wesley. “It’s The Antiques’ Roadshow Appreciation Society.”
The rest of them stared at Wesley. If the situation hadn’t been so serious, Spike would have enjoyed mocking him. Instead he asked, “So? How does that help find my daughter?”
“Well,” said Wesley, “I happen to know that the American series is doing an episode in San Diego this weekend, at the convention center there. It’s the only one this season in Southern California. If she’s a fan, perhaps she’ll turn up. So far, it’s our only lead.”
“Good,” said Buffy, grasping at any possibility. “I’ll call Xander and ask him to come.”
“Buffy love,” Spike said, “I know you value having your friends about, but why Harris? What bloody help could he possibly be?”
“Because, Spike love, Xander goes to that stupid comic book show there every summer. He knows that convention center like the back of his hand.”
Buffy didn’t manage to get in touch with Xander until Friday, so they arranged to pick him up at the San Diego Airport on the way to the show. Spike and Angel huddled under blankets in the back seat. Wesley had arranged tickets for everyone, and they asked Xander the best way to get around in the center. “The show,” said Wesley, “is being filmed in the Sail’s Pavilion.”
“Oh, great,” said Xander, “the Sail’s Pavilion. We could have saved some room in the car. The Sail’s Pavilion is like a big tent. Looks like big, well, sails. Loads of sunlight. Vampire boys here will fry before they see nary an antique. They might as well stay in the car under their blankies.”
“Harris,” mumbled Spike under the blanket, “I’m bloody well not staying in this wretched car. That woman could be there, maybe with my daughter. If you think I’m not going in…”
“Geez,” said Xander, “don’t get your shorts in a knot. You too can wait on the upper floor of the con center, outside the sails. There are lots of dark corridors and function rooms for you both to lurk in.”
They ran for the front door, Spike and Angel holding their blankets over their heads. They dropped them inside the center, far from the windows. “Careful, boys,” laughed Xander, “no smoking in the convention center.”
Buffy hit his arm. “This isn’t funny, Xander Harris. Don’t make me regret bringing you along.”
Xander looked at her apologetically. “Buff, you know I always cover my discomfort with mirth. Riding in the car with two vampires is not exactly within my comfort zone. Even if one is your ex, and the other is your husband. Which is something else I’m still not comfortable with. But I’m with you. All of you.” He took her hands in his and looked down at her. “We will find your baby. Thank you for asking for my help.”
“So, Xander, how to we get to this Sail’s place?” Wesley asked.
“Well,” replied Xander, “the main escalator is a little sunny, so I recommend we go through the back way.” They picked up their entrance badges at the front registration area, then he led them through a huge, empty function area and to the back staircase. They climbed it to the upper level. “The Sail’s is to our right. The Vamps can stand here and wait for us.”
Xander, Buffy and Wesley headed into the Sail’s Pavilion, though the latter seemed distracted by all the antiques and collectables being carried by the people in line for appraisal. “Look at that,” he said delightedly, “if I’m not mistaken that’s a Georgian hair receiver.” Buffy was so distracted by looking for Dr. Hall that she walked into one of the participants, who dropped her bowl and watched in horror as it smashed on the floor.
Marcia Evans turned at the resulting commotion and recognized Buffy. She slipped out the entrance without being noticed and headed for the back stairway. “Going somewhere, Dr. Hall?” said a very angry vampire blocking her way down the staircase. “We’ve been looking for you for some time.”
She turned and attempted to flee in the other direction, but found her way blocked by another, taller vampire. “Ah, so you are Dr. Hall. I’ve heard so much about you,” Angel growled menacingly.”
“Where is my baby, bitch?” Spike didn’t care about the pain that was starting to fire in his head. He almost didn’t notice it. “Tell me and I may let you live.”
“I, I can’t tell you,” she whimpered. “If I do, they will kill me. Maybe her too. You don’t want that. Let me go, and I promise I’ll take good care of her...”
Spike reached out for her throat. He wanted to crush it like a bug, but as she tried to escape she lost her footing and tumbled down the long staircase. With a gasp he saw her lying at the bottom with her head at a deadly angle. Defeated he sat on the top of the stairs with his head in his hands.
“You aren’t going to tell me you’re sorry about that, are you?” asked Angel in surprise.
“Of course not. But she was our only lead. We have no way of finding Billie now.” Spike answered, damned if he would let Angel see him cry.
Angel reached into his pocket for a pair of latex gloves. “You know, Spike,” he said, “you made a great evil vampire, but you’d make a lousy detective.” He quickly descended to the bottom of the stairs, and picked up the doctor’s purse. Opening it, he removed her wallet. “Even if this is a phony driver’s license, it doesn’t mean it’s a phony address.”
Xander and Buffy stood at the top of the stairs, looking down in horror. Spike rose and embraced his love. “I think we’re close now,” he said. “We are going to find her.”
Xander called down, “Come on Angel. I think this would be a good time to get out of here, don’t you? If I can drag Wesley out of that room and his precious antiques.”
The quintet stood in front of the address on the license as the sun fully set. It was one of the houses built into the hills on the outskirts of San Diego, white with an orange roof. Not a cheap house, but not a mansion. Oddly, there didn’t appear to be any security. “Allow me,” Buffy said. She kicked down the door, and entered, entreating Spike and Angel to join her. The others rushed inside to the sound of the alarm. Two men dressed in suits came rushing towards them, guns drawn, but they were no match for Buffy and her friends.
A baby’s cry came from the upper level, and Spike and Buffy practically flew up the staircase. In the bassinette a much healthier Billie was exercising her lungs, while an older suited man stood beside it, a gun pointed at the baby’s head. “Don’t move,” he told them, “it would be a regrettable loss, but one I am fully willing to make.”
Wesley stood at the door in shock. “Richard,” he said. “Put the gun down.”
“Ah, Wesley Wyndham-Price,” the older gentleman said, “slumming, I see?”
Wesley spat in disgust. “I suspected Wolfram and Hart might be behind this. I never expected the Council.”
Spike poised ready to strike, every muscle tensed, his face without trace of humanity. Only his fear for his daughter kept him from killing without mercy. Beside him, Buffy was trying to work out how she could free her child, and inflict as much pain as possible on the human scum standing beside the baby. That the Watcher’s Council was apparently behind the abduction didn’t even register.
“You used Giles’ reports,” said Wesley, “you kept track of the pregnancy with that evil doctor, and now you’re willing to kill an innocent, just like you’ve let so many young girls die for you. This is wrong, Richard. This is not what the Council I joined stood for.”
“How dare you?” replied the Watcher, “How dare you criticize me, when you work with one of those creatures? And this baby,” he gestured with the gun barrel, “this child is not so innocent. She is of her father’s spawn, not vampire, but Damphyr. She needs human blood to survive, her mother’s blood to be precise. What kind of innocent child is that?”
“That’s not for you to decide.” The Watcher turned around to see the vampire he had not noticed behind him. Angel grabbed him and swung his body around, taking the baby out of harm’s way. In that instant Buffy rushed to her daughter, picking her up and hugging her close. Spike joined the embrace, ensuring that his body was between Buffy and the gun.
“For the Council,” Richard cried, swinging the pistol to his own head and pulling the trigger.
The staff from Angel Investigations stood outside the bus station, making their goodbyes. “No, really guys, this will be fine.” insisted Buffy, proudly cradling her daughter in her arms. “This is the safest way for us to travel, taking the night bus to Sunnydale. Especially now that I have two UV extremely sensitive sweethearts to worry about.”
“What about what that Richard guy said, about the blood?” Angel asked.
“Actually,” answered Wesley, “the doctor’s notes were quite explicit. Billie will need Buffy’s blood for a time, about as long as a baby needs to nurse. After that, she should be fine with animal blood, and only a bit at a time. However, she will never have the option of becoming a vegetarian.”
“Coming back with us, Harris?” Spike asked.
“Naw, I’ll come back tomorrow. If I don’t bring Anya back a present from LA, she will kill me,” replied Xander. Cordelia laughed. “Actually, Cordy, that wasn’t a joke.” Xander’s ex shook her head sympathetically.
“Well, see ya, mate.” Spike held his hand out to Xander, who shook it gingerly.
“You know, Spike, he said, “I’m still not sure I trust you, but damn it if I’m not starting to like you.”
Spike put his hand out to Angel, who ignored it and drew him into a big bear hug. “You have changed,” he said, “Who would have believed it? Take care of them, both of them, or I will hunt you down and kill you.”
“Always, mate, always. And thanks. For everything. Now please let me go before these blokes get the wrong idea,” Spike smiled.
Buffy handed the baby to her husband, and pulled something out of her bag for Cordelia. “Ooh, Excedrin,” said Cordelia sarcastically. “Nice present.”
“Hey,” winked Buffy, “Spike swears by them.”
Fred hugged her new friend and handed her a pair of pink booties. “I’ve been knitting them since you two got here. I just knew you’d find your baby.” Buffy couldn’t speak, just wiped a few tears from the corner of her eyes.
Wesley and Gunn asked Spike again if he would consider working for the agency. “Pass mates,” he answered, “but you don’t know what it means that you asked. Buffy’s got a few responsibilities in Sunnydale, not the least being that nasty Hellmouth, but if she ever wants to move back to LA, you’ll be the first ones I call.”
Finally, Buffy turned to Angel, bending his head down to place a kiss on his forehead. “Thank you. So much. Always there when I need you. But try to get over me, okay?”
“I do try,” he answered, “every day. You’re just not an easy girl to get over. But I’m fine, really. I have good friends, and a purpose in life, and who knows, maybe someday...” He looked over towards Fred and Cordelia.
“Well then, my friend, here’s to someday.” She boarded the bus with Spike and her daughter, and headed home.
“Spike,” Buffy called impatiently, “she keeps knocking this stupid little paper hat off.”
Spike picked up his daughter and looked into her clear blue eyes. “Billie,” he asked, “don’t you want to wear your birthday hat?”
“No,” the tiny brunette replied. “Stupid hat.”
“Buffy, she doesn’t want to wear it. And you’re both right, it is a stupid hat.” He threw the paper cone on the dining room table. “You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to, pet. After all, whose birthday is it then, anyway?”
“Mine,” Billie pointed to her chest proudly. She held her fingers in the air. “I’m tree.”
Buffy was exasperated. “All right, who cares? Just don’t go throwing the silly thing on the table when I’m trying to get ready. Our friends will be here soon, and I’m not nearly done.”
Auntie Dawn called out from the kitchen, “Buffy, did we decide on the chocolate or the vanilla icing?”
“Choc’late,” Billie replied. “I like choc’late.” She went to the dining room table, climbed up on one of the chairs and retrieved her hat. Placing it on her head, she repeated, “I’m tree.”
“Fine,” said her mother, “I give up.”
Despite Buffy’s trepidation, no one had minded that the room was not immaculate. Everyone was more concerned with the princess of the Summers’ home. She laughed as she opened her presents, seeming more concerned with the brightly colored paper than the contents. Xander had given her a miniature construction set, with a plastic hammer and saw. He was less than excited when Billie used the hammer to hit him on the knee.
“Willow,” Buffy exclaimed, “this is too much!” She helped her daughter unwrap a laptop computer. Willow only shrugged.
“No biggie,” she said. “It’s from my company. It’s loaded with kid’s software; games and educational stuff. It will give her a jump at school.”
“I don’t know what to do about school,” Buffy sighed. “You know that Billie was kicked out of playgroup because she’s so much stronger than the other kids. She broke a third of their toys, and there was that little bully she gave a black eye. I don’t know what we’ll do when it’s time for her to go to kindergarten.” Billie tried to pick up the laptop. “No, honey, let Mommy help you. This is a toy to play with when Mommy or Daddy are with you.”
“Mine,” Billie replied, pouting.
“Yes,” said Buffy, “of course it’s yours, but...”
“Billie,” asked Spike, attempting to diffuse the situation, “would you like your present from Daddy now?”
Buffy seemed surprised. “Spike, I thought we agreed to get her the doll she wanted together.”
Her husband laughed and replied, “If I can’t get something special for my little girl, what’s the point of earning a living?” Spike would never have pegged himself a computer nerd, but no one was more surprised than he at his unexpected skill with the keyboard. He had picked things up so quickly that Willow had hired him to work at her computer company, an ideal position since he could work out of home and avoid sunny days. The hours were flexible enough for him to patrol at night with Buffy while Dawn baby-sat.
He went to the living room cupboard and pulled out a large box. Placing it in front of his daughter, he helped her remove the wrappings. “Oboy,” she cried, “just like Mommy’s!”
He lifted up a scaled down version of the Slayer’s punching bag, and Billie tried to hit at it with her fists. “She loves to watch you train,” he said, “and she’s always getting in the way. Now the two of you can train together.”
“Gee,” said Dawn, “all mom ever did with me was bake brownies.”
The friends gathered around the dining room table and sang “Happy Birthday” while the center of attention beamed. Buffy helped Billie blow out the candles, and watched her as she grabbed some cake in her fist and crammed it in her mouth. She grinned though the chocolate coating.
“Let daddy get you some milk to wash down that cake, love,” said Spike. He went into the kitchen and poured some milk into a plastic cup, then topped it up with a few tablespoons of cow’s blood. Pouring himself a glass, he went back to the party. “Anybody else want a drink?” he asked.
“I’ll pass,” said Xander, watching with disgust as Spike took a mouthful of the blood.
“We do have some Coke,” said Buffy. As Willow indicated that she would love a drink, Buffy was surprised by a knock at the door. “I wonder who that could be,” she speculated. “Hope it’s not another door to door salesman.”
“Oh, I’ll get rid of them for you,” Spike grinned evilly.
“I think I can handle it,” Buffy replied. “Sit down and drink your blood.”
Buffy opened the door and couldn’t believe her eyes. She hoped she wasn’t dreaming, because this was too good to be true.
“Uh, surprise?” said Giles softly.
“Giles, oh Giles,” Buffy cried, throwing her arms around her old friend and watcher. Willow and Dawn jumped up from the table and joined them.
“Group hug,” she enthused.
“Think I’ll pass,” said Spike, shaking the watcher’s hand as he thrust it through the human sandwich as best he could. “Glad you could make it, mate.”
The women eased back so that Giles could breath. “How could I decline such a kind invitation to a lovely young lady’s birthday?” He walked over to the table where Billie sat in her highchair. “So this is Billie Joyce Summers. I had rather pictured her without a beard.”
“Oops,” said Buffy, picking up the ever-present washcloth from the table and wiping Billie’s mouth and hands.
“Ah,” said Giles, “much better.” He picked up Billie’s hand and shook it. “Hello, young lady. I am your Uncle Rupert. It is very nice to meet you.” Buffy expected her daughter to burst into tears at the strange man’s touch, but she just stared at him and smiled. Giles looked back at Buffy. “She’s such a beauty. Her photos don’t do her justice. She looks to have Spike’s blue eyes, and your mouth, but where does she get her curly brown hair?” Spike didn’t answer, though he knew full well.
“She has my irrepressible sense of fun,” interjected the straight-haired Dawn. “And I think she has my ears.”
Buffy hugged and kissed her husband. “This is the best present. Thank you so much.”
Spike replied, “It’s about time Billie met the whole family. Fancy some cake, Giles?”
After putting Billie to bed, the gang had gone out patrolling, leaving Giles to baby sit. The night proved unfruitful, and the friends headed their separated ways in the cemetery. On coming home, Dawn decided to stay up and talk to Giles, while Buffy and Spike went to bed.
“Do you think he minds the couch?” Buffy asked, pulling off her top and throwing it in the hamper.
“No love,” said Spike, pulling off his t-shirt and dropping it on the floor. “He’s slept there before. Anyway, he said he could stay at a hotel, but he’d rather be here with us if we didn’t mind, so he’s fine with it.” He stepped behind his wife and massaged her shoulders with his strong, cool fingers.
She turned and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss. “Did I ever tell you how much I love you?” she asked.
“Oh, a few times,” he replied, “but tell me again.”
She ran her palms over his well-muscled chest, and planted a kiss on his breastbone. “Come to bed and I’ll show you.” She pulled the blinds down on the window, so no light would enter in the morning.
Spike picked her up in his arms and lay her down on the sheets. He kissed her deeply, and a shudder ran though her body. “I love you forever,” she said.
He kissed her again and replied, “I love you longer.”
That night, they made love for the last time.
For some unknown reason, Buffy was restless. Xander was at work as foreman on his construction site, Willow was taking Giles on a tour of the new computer center she had helped finance at the university, and Spike was still asleep. Billie and Dawn sat quietly in the corner playing with the “Winnie the Pooh” game on the little girl’s new laptop.
“I’m going out to patrol,” said Buffy, stuffing a few stakes in her pocket.
“It’s early yet; not quite sundown,” Dawn replied, “Don’t you want to wait for the others?”
“No,” said Buffy, “I need to unwind. It’s been really quiet lately, anyway. I probably won’t meet a single vampire.” She kissed the top of Billie’s head. “Bye little one,” she said, “See you later.”
“Bye bye mama,” Billie replied, without looking up from the computer screen.
“Bye Dawn. You can tell the others I’m at the cemetery. They can meet me there.” Buffy opened her front door and stepped out into the lengthening late afternoon shadows.
Buffy walked slowly through the cemetery as the sun set over the horizon. Her heart beat faster. This was the time she loved; the dangerous time. Spike had once called her a creature of the night, and at times like this she knew that it was true. Her muscles tensed as she listened with her heightened senses, stake held fast in her right hand.
She spun at the sound behind her. A vampire was approaching her, his jaws wide for the kill. Laughing, she staked him easily, but turned to find another, larger vampire behind her. As she kicked him she felt strong arms grab her on either side, pushing her onto the ground. Two more hefty vampires held her legs fast. She struggled against them but they held her tight. Around the corner of a mausoleum, a woman with long dark hair stepped out and clapped her hands. “Ooh, lovely,” she cried, “catch a Slayer, put her in your pocket. I’ve been calling you, Buffy. Did you hear me?” She bent over the young woman’s prostrate form, and Buffy spat in her face.
Drusilla wiped the spittle off with her sleeve. “Nasty, dirty Slayer,” she said. “Evil Slayer, took what’s mine. Took my heart and tore it out. We can’t have that, can we?”
Buffy continued to struggle, but the trap had been too well set, and there was no escape. Dru held a forefinger to the blonde woman’s face and slashed across her cheek with a talon-like fingernail. “How will Spikey like you all scarred and battered, then, eh?” She made another deep gash on the other cheek, and the blood rolled into Buffy’s eye, as Dru held the Slayer’s head down with her hair. “Ah, but my Spike loves the inner you, doesn’t he, the real Buffy. We’ll have to do something about that.” She pulled the hair farther back and exposed Buffy’s throat to her vampire fangs. With a horrid grin, Drusilla plunged her fangs into the Slayer’s throat and drank deeply. “Um, yummy,” she exclaimed, “but I mustn’t be a little piggy.” She gestured to one of her minions to pick up the unconscious woman, and carried her back to her lair.
“What do you mean, she went out patrolling?” Spike asked Dawn as he entered the living room, his day’s rest ended. “Alone? She didn’t wait?”
“She said you should all meet her at the cemetery. What’s the big deal, she’s been out alone before. My sister’s a very capable woman. Surely you know that more than anyone?” Dawn was feeding Billie her dinner in the high chair.
“I know that,” said Spike. “It’s just…I have a bad feeling, that’s all. Probably nothing. I’ll go out to the cemetery. Send the others when you see them.” But there was no sign of Buffy at the cemetery.
There was no sign by the next night either. Buffy hung on the wall, chained and weak from constant draining. Over and over Dru taunted her, “He can’t love you. You aren’t worth it. You’re weak. Look at you. My baby loves me, always me, only me.” She raked her nails across the Slayer’s body, licking the blood off her nails. “Silly, silly, silly girl. Made my baby into her lap dog, didn’t she. Ooooh, what you could have had.” Finally, when Buffy was on the verge of final release, mad with despair, Dru ran her nail down the soft flesh of her own inner forearm as a bloody line formed. “I want him to bleed.” She thrust the wound to Buffy’s lips. “I want him to bleed inside forever.”
Spike was frantic. “Something’s happened to her. Why can’t we find her?” He thought back to the time in Los Angeles when Buffy had been mugged by Billie’s abductors. Even in that huge city they had located her quickly. Now it had been a whole day, and there was no sign of his wife.
“Willow and I will cover the Bronze,” said Xander. “Maybe she has amnesia or something. Dawn can stay here with Billie and you and Giles can check out the cemetery again.”
“I’m sure she’s fine,” added Giles. “She’s a very resourceful young woman, always has been. She probably has some good reason why she hasn’t contacted us.” Giles wiped his glasses with his handkerchief nervously. His British unflappability couldn’t cover the concern in his voice.
On entering the cemetery, Spike and Giles split up in order to cover more ground. As they searched the grounds, Spike was surprised to see light coming from his old crypt. Entering cautiously, he was delighted to see Buffy standing with her back to him in the anteroom, surrounded by lit candles.
“Remember, lover,” she asked, “remember the night I told you I was pregnant? Here, in this room, with all these candles lit. What a fool I was, throwing away so much on that stupid brat. I should have got rid of it when I had the chance.”
Spike watched in horror as Buffy turned towards him with an inhuman face. “Oh, yeah, baby, I’m one of you now. Little favor from your ex.”
“Drusilla?” Spike moaned.
“Yeah. She’s something else. You settled. You are so whipped.” She stretched her arms over her head like a cat. “Such a fool. How could you have such power, and throw it away to play human? You are pathetic.”
She walked past him and up onto the cemetery grounds. He followed her in shock. She leaned on a tombstone casually. “ Come with me, and I’ll show you how to live again. We can take on the world.” She looked into his eyes. “No, you couldn’t, could you. Impotent loser.”
Spike took in short, angry breaths. He must be dreaming. This couldn’t be happening.
“So,” she continued, “I guess it’s you or me. I’d stake you now, but mommy Dru doesn’t want that, for God only knows what reason. So here,” she handed him her stake, “Why don’t you do me? I’ll make it easy for you.” She undid the buttons of her blouse and thrust her chest towards him. “Stake me, lover. You can’t, can you. No rocks. Loser, loser, loser…” The point of the stake emerged through her chest as bone, sinew and flesh exploded in a cloud of dust.
“No, he couldn’t,” said Giles grimly, “But I can.” He dropped the stake in disgust.
“Buffy,” Spike murmured. “Buffy.” As the tears flowed he bent down and tried to hold her remains, but most of the dust was carried off by the breeze. He held the little bit he managed to gather tightly. “Buffy.”
Giles bent down and wrapped his arms around the grieving vampire. “I’m so sorry, son,” he said, “So, so sorry.” They wept together.
The group of mourners stood around the graveside where Buffy had been buried and resurrected years before. This time, they all knew, she wouldn’t be coming back. Willow stood beside Xander, resting her head on his shoulder. Giles, holding Billie, stood next to his old watcher comrade Wesley. Cordelia stood stricken, Angel holding her left hand and Fred her right. Dawn stood next to her brother-in-law without touching him. Spike stared at the grave, and scattered what little dust he had collected in front of the headstone. He traced the words with his finger, “Buffy Anne Summers, she saved the world, a lot.”
As the mourners departed quietly, Wesley put his hand on Spike’s shoulder and said, “My offer still holds. If you need a new start of it, you can come to LA and work with us.”
“Can’t think about that right now,” the vampire replied softly. “Thanks, though.” Wesley patted his shoulder and walked away.
Soon only Spike was left, kneeling at the graveside and sobbing quietly. Willow turned and came back to him, putting her hand on the top of his head.
“Stake me, Willow,” he said. “I can’t take this.”
“No,” she replied in horror. “Of course not.”
He looked up at her, his moist blue eyes pleading. “Please.”
She took him in her arms and cradled him like a child. “Don’t ask me that. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t do it to Buffy. She loved you so much.”
“If you’d heard her,” he replied, “you’d know it wasn’t true. I’m being punished Willow, for all the horrible, evil things I’ve ever done. It’s my fault. I should have been there, gotten up early, staked Dru long ago. Buffy should be alive, and I should be dead.”
“Billie needs you,” Willow answered, “she’s lost her mommy and she needs her daddy more than ever.”
“She’d be better off without me. Everyone would.” She rocked him in her arms.
“We all need you, Spike,” Willow tried to comfort him. “We all love you. Buffy did love you, so much. She told me once that your life together was a big adventure, and nothing made her happier than you and the baby. That thing that Giles killed wasn’t Buffy. Drusilla killed Buffy.”
“If that’s so, Will, then what am I?” Spike cried.
“Shh,” said Willow, “You’re the man Buffy loved. You’re Billie’s father. You’re my friend. Now come on home to your little girl.”
Spike sat in the dark living room. He left the blinds down now, day or night, disinterested in anything but his grief. Dawn and her niece burst noisily into the room and he didn’t even notice them. “We’re going to the park, Spike, want to come?” Billie could only play outside in the evening because of the hypersensitivity to light she had inherited from her father. Usually he delighted in being with her, but now he ignored them both. “Spike, I swear you’re turning into one of those statue vampires from Anne Rice.”
Billie ran to her father and climbed on his lap. “Come to the park with me, daddy?” she asked her father hopefully.
“No, pet,” he responded distractedly. “Go with your Auntie Dawn.”
“No, she cried, “I want to go with Mommy.”
“Mommy’s not here, sweetie. Come with me,” Dawn reached out for the tiny hand.
“No, I don’t want to go with Auntie Dawn, I want to go with Mommy.” she cried more insistently.
Spike yelled in her face, “Go to the sodding park with Dawn! Leave me alone!”
The little face, so like her mother’s, screwed up tightly and her tears flowed. She ran to her aunt, who picked her up to carry her out the door. Dawn turned back to Spike before leaving and said, “You aren’t the only one hurting, you know.”
The room was still dark when Buffy’s sister rushed in with her charge an hour later and carefully bolted the door. She was breathless from running. “Spike,” she said.
“What is it?” For the first time, concern for his daughter and Dawn started to pull him from his lethargy. “What happened?”
Billie ran over and hopped on Spike’s lap, his earlier anger forgotten. “Daddy, there was a pretty lady in the park. She looked at me, and looked. I think she liked me. Cause I’m pretty, aren’t I Daddy?”
“Beautiful, darlin’, but don’t be vain.” He looked up a Dawn. “A pretty lady?”
“Spike,” said Dawn, “it was Drusilla. She kept staring at Billie. It was so freaky. I got out of there as fast as I could, but Spike, you don’t think…” She looked down at the baby with terror.
“Dawn,” said Spike, “Watch Billie. If anything happens to me, she’s your responsibility.”
“Where are you going?” his sister in law asked, frozen fear in the pit of her stomach.
“Out,” he replied.
He knew that she would be in the old factory they had shared with Angelus. As he looked around at the ivy-covered walls he could see himself trapped in his wheelchair, frustrated and ineffective. He heard the sounds of Angelus and Dru making love, pitched just loud enough for him to hear. He saw Angelus torture Giles. Ugly memories. He knew that she would come here. How could she resist?
“Ohh, my darling, I knew you’d come.” Drusilla stepped from the shadows, alone. “I knew you’d want me now, now that the nasty Slayer is gone. Does it hurt? You always liked the hurt.” She walked over to Spike and ran her hand down his chest. “Beautiful, beautiful Spikey, all mine again. I could see it in my head, that we’d be together.” She raised his hand to her lips and kissed it. “I knew she wouldn’t last; she was weak, not like us. She wasn’t good enough for you, my love.”
“No,” said Spike, “she was never like us.” With a fluid movement he drew the stake from his duster pocket and drove it through his ex-lover’s heart. He looked down at the pile of dust on the floor. “Didn’t see that coming, did you Dru?” he asked coldly.
Giles sat on the living room couch with Spike. “Sure you won’t stay a bit longer?” the watcher’s host asked.
“No, really. Thank you for your kind offer. I really must be getting home.” He prepared to broach a difficult subject. “I was rather afraid you would hate me for what I did.”
Spike looked into Giles eyes. “I don’t hate you. Whatever that was, it wasn’t her.”
Giles took off his glasses and started to wipe them with his handkerchief. He reached out his hand to Spike, but the vampire didn’t take it.
“Not yet,” said Spike “Maybe later, but not yet. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a very beautiful little lady I need to spend some time with.”
Spike sat on the edge of Billie’s ‘big bed’, holding her on his lap and stroking her hair. “Daddy has some news, pet. We’re going away. Uncle Wesley and Uncle Angel have asked Daddy to come work with them, and I said I would. Auntie Dawn is going to stay here in this house while she finishes college, and then she can come and stay with us too. Would you like that?”
Billie thought about it. “I think so. I like Uncle Angel. He’s big and strong. And Auntie Cordy. She’s nice. Uncle Angel likes her too.”
“Yes, pet,” Spike smiled, “I rather fancy that he does. So we can go?”
“Hmm, ‘kay. Can Mommy come too?” the child asked.
Her father hesitated. “Yes, love, Mommy will be with us too, but we can’t see her. She’s with us every time I look in your sweet face, and she’s here,” he pointed to his head, “and she’s here,” he placed his hand on his heart.
“Now,” he said, “let me tell you a bedtime story. I want you to listen carefully, because it’s about Mommy. ‘Into every generation a chosen one is born...’”
Billie Summers tied her long, curly brown hair back and looked in the mirror. “Hm,” she said to herself, “not bad.” She picked up a tube of lipstick and a brush from her dresser and applied the bright red colour to her mouth. “It’ll do.” Picking up a hot pink jacket from her bed and slinging it over her shoulder, she went out into the corridor of the hotel where she lived and knocked on the door beside hers. “Hey Dad, you up?”
Spike opened his door and looked out at his daughter. “Yeah, pet,” he said, “just getting dressed for the night. You going out?”
“Meeting friends. All work and no play, right?” she turned towards the staircase. “See ya later.”
Spike reached out for her arm and turned her back, gently. “Wait a mo’, love. Let me look at you.” He scanned her with his eyes and frowned. “Too much cleavage. Too much lipstick.”
“God, Dad, you’d think I was still a kid in high school.” She drummed her fingers on her hip impatiently. “My friends are waiting. I gotta go.” She pecked his cheek, leaving a dark red stain. “Love ya.” Running down the staircase she waved up at her father. “I won’t be late,” she called.
Spike crossed his arms and leaned against the wall of the corridor. “When did she get so grown up?” he asked himself. “She was just a baby yesterday.”
Spike sat in the lobby of Angel’s hotel, catching up with Angel, Wesley, Gunn, Cordelia and Fred. It was his first night in LA with his daughter, and the Angel Investigations gang was doing their best to make sure that he felt welcome. Cordelia Chase sat beside him on the couch, holding his hand sympathetically. “If there’s anything we can do to help you settle in…”
“Thanks luv,” he replied. “I’ll be fine, just as soon as I figure where to stash my gear.” He turned to Wesley. “Thanks for this job, mate. I need a little...distance...from ol’ Sunnydale.”
“Hey, no problem,” said Gunn. “Wesley’s glad to get you. You really kicked butt the last time you were here.”
“Exactly,” added Wesley. “You’ll be a great asset to the firm. I understand that you’re quite good with computers as well. That will be very helpful.”
“Yeah,” replied Spike, “funny about that. I was looking for a way to make some cash, and Willow offered to hire me for her company, if I could pick up a bit of computer savvy. I was right shocked the way I took to it. All easy, really.”
“Wow.” said Cordy, “Easy. Maybe you could teach Angel a thing or two.”
“Oh,” he winked, “I can always teach Angel a thing or two.” Angel didn’t reply, just looked at him pointedly. “Still the Luddite, old mate?”
“I get by,” said Angel.
Screaming burst forth from the baby monitor connected to Billie’s room. “Mommy,” she cried, “I want Mommy.” Fred looked stricken with concern. She knew the terrors of being alone in the dark.
“Gotta go,” said Spike, as he rushed up the stairs towards their new second floor suite. “She’s been doing this a lot.”
“Poor little kid,” said Cordy, as Spike vanished at the top of the stairs. “New bed, new city, no Buffy.”
“Yeah,” added Angel raspily. No one was surprised at the catch in his voice. “I’m glad we hooked up the monitor. I hate to think of her screaming up there with no one to hear her.” He looked down at his feet. “No kid should have to be alone. Especially not Buffy’s.”
Billie flicked the cigarette from her fingers and crushed it with the toe of her shoe, as she saw her friends Cindy and Valerie approach the entrance to ‘The Hot Box’. She looked at her watch. “Late enough, guys? I ran out to meet you, and I’m the one who ends up waiting. Thanks a lot.”
Her friends jostled against her and laughed. “Hey, Billie,” Valerie said, “Since when are you Little Miss Punctual?”
“Since when I have an early class.” she answered. “ Let’s get inside, if we can still get a table.” She hustled them through the entrance. “I need to let loose tonight. Gotta dance.”
Spike cradled the frightened three year old in his arms until she went back to sleep. He slowly pulled his arm out from under her body so he wouldn’t wake her, and started to creep out of the room. He stopped when he saw Buffy’s stuffed pig, Mr. Gordo, sitting on the dresser. He picked up the toy, went into the other suite bedroom and lay down on his bed, sitting the pig on his chest. “Well, Gordo old boy, do you miss her too?” He patted its head distractedly. Putting it under his head like a pillow, he said sadly, “You even smell like her. I envy you, old pig, you had longer with her than I did.” He looked up at the ceiling. “Buffy, love,” he whispered. “I’m trying, I really am. I’m trying for Billie’s sake. But it isn’t easy.”
Billie cradled her wineglass in her hand and sipped it disinterestedly. “Hey,” said Cindy, “I thought we came here to have fun. This is not fun.” She saw Billie watching the dance floor. “Oh, I get it. You thought Mark might be here tonight. I don’t think he came.”
Billie snapped out of her reverie. “Mark who? Yeah, well okay, busted. But he isn’t here, and I say we have some fun.” She jumped up among the dancers and started to sway with the music. As the beat took over, she let herself be carried with the song, until she crashed into another patron and lost her balance, falling to the dance floor. A strong hand helped her to her feet and she looked up in surprise.
“Angel,” she exclaimed, “what are you doing here? I thought you guys were going out, you know,” she dropped her voice, “demon hunting.”
“Slow night,” he answered. “Wes and your dad are still cruising, but I gave up and came in here. I needed a little break. Nice atmosphere. I like it.” He looked around. “You here with someone?”
“Sure,” she replied. “Come over and meet my friends.” She took his arm and led him to her table. Her friends looked at him appreciatively. “Angel, this is Cindy and Valerie. Guys, this is Angel. He’s an old friend…” She started to say, “Of my parents,” but realized that seemed a little farfetched, considering that he looked younger than thirty. She instead said, “We go way back.”
“Hi Angel,” said Cindy sultrily. “Where has Billie been hiding you?”
Valerie leaned over and whispered in her ear, “Triple threat; tall, dark and handsome.”
Angel looked at the girls and smiled, “Well, nice to meet you.” He turned to Billie and asked, “Don’t you have an early class on Wednesdays?”
She looked at her watch, “Bloody hell,” she said, “I’d better get home. ‘Night guys.”
As she turned to leave, Angel stopped her. “It’s late,” he said. “Let me walk you home.” She smiled at him with pleasure. “After all,” he added, “your dad would never forgive me if I let anything happen to you.”
Billie took his arm and said goodnight to her friends. Cindy winked at her and said, “See you tomorrow. Don’t forget. Early class.”
Billie despaired at ever finding a friend. All the other kids got to play outside at recess, but she always had to stay behind and help the teacher, or draw at her desk. Even in the warm Southern California climate she wore long sleeves and light gloves. When she went outside she always sported a wide-brimmed hat, dark glasses and a turned up collar. Worst of all, she had to wear a little plastic nose shield to protect from the burning rays. It wasn’t a new experience; this had always been her way of life. The few vampiric qualities she had inherited from her father left her with an ultra-sensitive reaction to the daylight. Even indoors, she had to be protected from light coming through the large classroom windows. The highest level of sunscreen couldn’t stop her skin from blistering painfully with outdoor exposure. The older she grew, the more she felt alienated from the other children.
“Dad,” she asked one night at dinner when she was nine, “Am I a freak?”
“What?” he exclaimed with surprise. “You most certainly are not.” He poured a bit of blood into her glass of milk and continued, “You’re my beautiful little girl. Not a touch of the freak about you. Why do you ask?”
She looked down at her rare steak. “Jimmy says I’m a freak.”
Anger flashed in Spike’s eyes. “Who’s this Jimmy bloke, then, eh? I’ll deal with him, don’t you worry.”
She was afraid that he would react this way. She looked up into her father’s face and answered, “Jimmy’s just a kid in my class. It’s not just him. All the kids think I’m weird. I am weird. Dad, none of the other kids have to dress up for school! None of the other kids drink blood!” She pounded the table with her fist breaking off a piece of the corner. “ I am a freak!” She burst into tears and ran from the table.
Spike sat and looked at his plate in confusion. “Well,” said Cordelia, “aren’t you going to go after her?”
He dipped his fork into his potatoes and swirled them around the plate. Without looking up he replied, “And what would I tell her? Tell her that she isn’t a freak, because I’m not? I’m not sure that I believe that.”
“No,” said Cordelia. “Tell her that you love her. Tell her that the other kids don’t know, that kids are cruel for no reason, that anyone would be lucky to have a great kid like her as a friend.” She remembered the unfair pressure that her father had put on her to be popular. “Tell her you’re with her no matter what.”
“You know, luv, that sounds like good advice. When did you get so smart?” he asked.
“When I learned to be myself and not worry about what other people thought,” she answered. “Now go help your daughter.”
Billie and Angel walked home in silence. Neither noticed that she hadn’t let go of his arm. A cool gust of wind blew through her light jacket and she shivered. “Whew,” she said, “It’s getting chilly. Didn’t expect that.”
Angel took off his long coat and put it around her shoulders, but the petite brunette swam in it. “Nope,” he laughed, “That’s not going to help.” He put the coat back on, then draped his long arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. “Warmer?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Billie gasped, “Much.” Curious sensations were running through her body, feelings that had nothing to do with the weather. Weird, she thought, this is Uncle Angel. I’ve known him all my life. Of course, she added mentally, he isn’t really my uncle, but still...
Angel looked down at Billie and wondered, Why didn’t I notice how blue her eyes were, before? She has such a beautiful face. I always thought that she was just a kid. When did she grow up?
Billie felt her hand slip down into the tall vampire’s. He didn’t object, and they continued to walk quietly up the street to the hotel. As they neared the front entrance, they walked slower. “I’m not sure that I want to go in yet,” said Billie, quietly. She looked up into Angel’s face, hoping to see the same reluctance in his eyes. His expression was intent; tender.
Suddenly he leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. She felt herself melt into his arms. His body stiffened, and he pulled back. “I’m sorry, Billie. I don’t know what came over me. This is wrong.” He bolted through the front door.
“Yep, Billie,” she said out loud. “Loser again.”
Billie maintained her freak status throughout public school and into high school. Very few of the other students would play with her, and none would ask her over to their homes. Some of her teachers would take pity on her, and would let her come into their classrooms after school for long talks, but they were no substitute for her peers, and would invariably lose interest the next year when she was no longer in their class. She would have been an even sadder and lonelier little girl without the support of her father and his friends.
In grade ten a sign announcing a Sadie Hawkins Dance gave her momentary hope. Maybe one of the boys she liked would go with her if she asked. She waited outside the biology class door for Sean Miller to come out so that she could try. Sean was not a popular student, a quiet, studious boy, but Billie thought that he was very nice. He was one of the few boys in school who hadn’t called her “Invisible Man”, her student dubbed nickname because of the protective clothing she was forced to wear. Maybe he would take pity on her. She knew the battle was lost when she saw him leave the class hand in hand with Harley Thompson, captain of the debating team.
On the way home she spotted Harry Dickerson, the biggest loser in the school. He was an insipid little twit, immature and universally regarded as a mama’s boy. She was certain that no one had asked him. Almost without thinking, she ran up beside him and said, “Hi, Harry, going to the dance?”
He looked at her with distain. “Not with you, butt ugly,” he laughed, and ran off down the road.
Spike awoke to the sounds of crying from his daughter’s room. Tapping on the door, he called softly, “Y’ok, pet?” When she didn’t respond, he opened the door a crack and peeked in, to see her prostrate on her bed, sobbing into her pillow.
He sat on the edge of the bed and put his hand on her shoulder. “What’s the matter, love?” he asked softly.
She rolled over and looked up at her father’s concerned expression. “There’s a Sadie Hawkins Dance at the school,” she choked, “and n...n...none of the b...b…boys will go with me. They think I’m u...u…ugly.”
Spike brushed the tears from under her eyes with his finger and said, “Right bunch o’ prats then, not wanting to go with a beauty like you.” He kissed her forehead. “Probably you haven’t asked the right guy is all.”
She swallowed her tears, and wondered if it could be true. “Who would go with me, Dad?” she asked.
“Well,” he replied, “Me, for one.”
As mortified as Billie was with the suggestion that she show up at the dance with her father, she was grateful for his compassion, and his willingness to spend an evening with some high school kids. Considering the possibility, she said, “Okay, Dad, you should take me. They already think I’m a freak. Now they’ll know I’m a freak that’s proud of my dad.”
The night of the dance, Billie entered the gym on Spike’s arm. Heads turned as the lovely young woman in the lavender dress, her soft, long curls bouncing down her back, walked into the room. A few of the girls huddled in a corner, looking at Spike and giggling to each other. Sean walked over to Billie and asked, “Do you go to this school? I’ve never seen you here before.”
Billie laughed. “Sean, silly, I’m in half your classes.”
Sean looked at her in amazement. “Billie?” he queried. “Billie Summers? Wow, you look different.”
“You know I have a sun allergy. Doesn’t bother me at night.” she glanced over at her father and smiled gratefully.
Spike wasn’t sure that he wanted to abandon his daughter to the sharks he was sure would gather now that they had seen Billie by night, but he knew that he was a fifth wheel. He walked over to her as she now talked to the giggling girls in the corner. “Sorry to interrupt you and your friends, pet, but I have to go. Call me and I’ll pick you up later.”
“Okay, dad. And thanks.” she hugged him close, and whispered in his ear. “This is a little embarrassing. My friends think you’re hot.”
“Bloody right,” he said, leaving.
As Billie walked through the door in confusion, she overheard her father, Wesley and Angel in deep conversation. “Hi dad, guys,” she called. “I’m just going into the kitchen for a before bed snack.” She opened the door to the kitchen, but stayed by it, listening to what they were discussing.
“Thanks for tracking her down, mate,” said Spike. “Hate not knowing where she is.”
“Anytime,” replied Angel. “I’d never want to see anything happen to her. She’s family.”
Wesley was the dissenting voice. “I think you are being overly cautious. Billie is a grown woman now, and quite capable. There was no evidence that Richard was anything but a rogue, and that the Council had anything to do with Billie’s abduction. Spike, that was over twenty years ago. Surely, if they wanted to harm her, or capture her, they would have tried something else by now. You can’t look over her twenty-four hours a day, or intimidate every man she becomes involved with, just in case the Council has something to do with him.”
“I don’t trust the Council. Look at all the things they did to Buffy,” Angel said grimly.
“Nor do I,” acquiesced the former watcher. “I’m only saying that I don’t think they are going to try anything with Billie. They would have done so by now. Look at how young all the Slayers have been. Billie is an adult.”
Billie returned angrily into the lobby. “That’s right, Uncle Wesley. I’m an adult. I know mom was a Slayer, Dad’s drummed it into me all my life, how great she was, but I’m not. I’m just a girl trying to get on with her life. I don’t need my father to hold my hand.” She glared at Angel, “And I don’t need a babysitter!” She ran up the stairs dismissively.
Billie was playing Barbies with Fred in the lobby when her Aunt Willow rushed through the door. “Where’s Angel?” she asked breathlessly.
“He’s in the office with Cordelia,” Fred replied. “Hey, Angel,” she called, “Company.”
Angel poked his head out the door. “Willow?” he said. “What are you doing here?” He gave her a big hug as Cordelia came running out to join them. “Hey, Will,” called Spike from the big stuffed chair in the corner. “What’s up?”
“I have such great news,” she said, hugging Cordy. “Sit down, Angel.” She saw his reluctance. “No, don’t worry. This is awesome.”
Angel sat and listened attentively. “I have found,” pronounced Willow, “the spell,” she inhaled, then breathed out in one breath, “to end Angel’s curse without losing his soul thereby integrating it into his vampire body permanently.” She flopped on the couch triumphantly.
“You’ve what?” asked Angel incredulously.
“Please don’t make me repeat myself,” laughed Willow, “I’m pooped.”
“You’re sure.” said Angel.
“Hurray,” cried Cordy, jumping onto Angel’s lap. “This is the best news, ever.” She embraced him as they kissed enthusiastically.
“Hey,” said Fred, putting her hand over Billie’s eyes, “Not in front of the child.”
“I don’t want to burst your bubble, but do you think this is really a good idea, Willow?” Spike dissented. “I thought you weren’t going to do that sort of thing again. Ramifications, an’ all that?”
“I know, Spike. I said I’d give up magic and concentrate on computers, but this is so easy. I kick myself for not seeing it long ago. I could do this spell with my eyes closed. In fact,” she smiled a Cheshire grin, “I already did.”
“What?” cried Cordelia. “No curse? Nada?” She slid off Angel’s lap and tried to pull him off the couch. “Upstairs, mister, now.”
“Hm, Cordy, do you think this is a good time?” he replied, “I mean, um, okay.” He raced her up the staircase.
“This had better work, pet,” said Spike to Willow.
“Well,” she replied confidently. “We should know soon.”
Half an hour later, they did.
Dawn was supposed to come and live with her niece and brother-in-law after college, and had every intention to do so until she met Bryan. He was kind, gentle and very handsome, and she loved him deeply. Still, she missed Spike. He had been her best friend and protector long before her sister admitted her feelings for him, and, truth be told, he was her first crush. She had accepted him as a person when everyone else, including her sister, saw him only as a creature of the night, irredeemably evil. As much as Buffy had come to love him, Dawn thought of Spike as her own.
Dawn looked at her reflection in the bride’s room mirror. It was difficult to believe that this day had finally come. She was startled to hear a voice behind her, since she saw no other image but hers, and she spun in surprise. “Spike, oh Spike,” she cried, throwing her arms around his neck. Oh, I didn’t think you were coming.”
“Now, now, Little Bit,” he said, “Don’t wrinkle that pretty dress. Let me look at you.” He sighed. “Aren’t you the one. All beautiful and grown up. Happy, love?”
“He’s wonderful, Spike,” she replied. “He’s everything I could want. Handsome, brave and loving. A lot like someone else I know.” Spike would have blushed if he could. “Is Billie here?” Dawn asked.
“She’s at the sanctuary with Willow,” he replied. “I wish I could stay, love, but you know, a church.” He could enter the building, but had no desire to suffer the pain of a religious service. He had married Buffy at City Hall, and regretted not giving her the fancy wedding she deserved.
“I wanted you to give me away, you know,” she said to him. “You...or Giles. I miss him.” Spike brushed a tear from the corner of her eye. “Xander was so happy when I asked him, though. I’m a little afraid of his speech at the reception.” Spike laughed. Dawn looked down at the hem of her gown. “I’m sorry, Spike,” Dawn said.
“For what, pet?” he replied with surprise. “What could you possibly be sorry for?”
“I feel selfish, putting my own happiness first. I promised that I would come out to LA and help you raise Billie, but I’m not going to make it. I let you down.”
Spike took her hands in his. “Never say that, Dawn. Never. I’ve let you down far more than you ever could me. And Billie and me, we’re doin’ okay. We have friends, good friends, people that love her. We’ll be fine.” Adjusting her headpiece, he smiled. “Beautiful.” He kissed her tenderly on the forehead and slipped out the door.
Dawn wiped a tear, and picked her bouquet off the table, to the sound of the processional. “New life,” she sighed, and smiled.
Angel was waiting for Billie in the lobby as she left for school early Wednesday morning. She ignored him and walked past. “Billie, wait,” he said, “We need to talk.”
“I think I heard all I needed to hear last night. Daddy asked you to get me home safely. Well done.” She looked at him angrily. “Did he ask you to make out with me too, because I don’t get that part.”
“Oh, Billie,” he sighed, “Billie.” He touched her cheek with the back of his right hand. “Don’t be angry. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“You have a funny way of showing it, mister.” She headed for the front door, turning up her collar and adjusting her fedora.
“Wait, Billie, please,” he pleaded. “Meet me in front of ‘The Hot Box’ at 7:00. I really need to talk to you. I have to make you understand.”
“Sure. Maybe. If I’m not busy,” she answered. She rushed out the door and into the morning light. Under her collar, where no one could see, she was smiling.
The quintet of mourners entered the hotel quietly. Billie kissed her father’s cheek, and said, “I’m going upstairs, Dad. Goodnight.” She turned to the taller man next to him. “I’m so sorry, Uncle Angel.”
“Thanks, Billie,” the dark haired vampire replied, “You’re a good kid.” Fred and Wesley made their good nights and followed the teen-aged girl up the stairs.
“Sit down, Angelus, I’ll get you a drink.” Angel fell onto the couch and sat silently. Spike went into the kitchen, found the bottle at the back of the refrigerator and poured two large glasses of human blood. He warmed them, and pulling a bottle of vodka from the cupboard, poured a healthy shot into each glass.
“Here ya’ go, mate,” he said to Angel, handing him a glass. Angel took it, but held it on his lap, not making a move to drink. “It’s the good stuff, Angelus, don’t waste it.” He took a large mouthful. “I’m getting tired of this funeral thing. Gunn, Giles...”
Angel looked up at his friend with empty eyes. “All the things she had to face; the visions, the migraines, demons, monsters. Why cancer?”
“Dunno, mate, dunno,” Spike answered. “Why anything?”
Angel wasn’t listening. “She lay there in that hospital bed, the life draining out of that beautiful face, those beautiful eyes...” He paused for a full minute before continuing. “Those doctors, they’ve done so much in the last twenty years, I mean they cured aids, but they couldn’t help Cordy. Why?”
Spike took the drink from Angel’s hand and put it on the table. He sat beside his old friend and patted his shoulder. “Look at me, Angel. It doesn’t make sense and it never made sense. Their lives are so fragile. Ours are so fragile. We can live forever or go in a cloud a’ dust. You had some time with her. You loved her. You made her happy. That’s all we get.”
Angel started to cry again. “It hurts, Spike. It hurts so much.”
“I know, mate, I know,” he answered. “When Buffy died, I asked Willow to stake me. She wouldn’t, of course, which is probably why it was her I asked. For days I sat in the dark, and I thought about Buffy, and nothing but Buffy. The only thing that got me out was my anger. You’re not me. It will take something else. But one day, trust me, you will go on.”
Angel looked up at Spike. “I thought about turning her. Maybe...”
“No, mate,” Spike answered in horror. “Never that. If you’d seen Buffy...”
“I know,” Angel said, “She would have hated me for it.” He sighed. “But I’d give anything to get her back.”
Spike looked at his friend with compassion. “It will get better. You won’t believe me, but it will. It’s worse for our kind, you know. The least little sound, least little scent, brings the memories back so clearly. But one night you’ll wake up and facing life won’t seem impossible. I wish you could believe that now. I know you can’t.”
Billie had intended to play her meeting with Angel nonchalantly, but she ended up getting to the club ten minutes early. “Damn,” she said, looking at her watch, “He’ll think I’m eager.”
“Talking to yourself?” said a voice behind her.
She turned around. “Angel,” she said, “stop sneaking up on me. You’re as bad as Dad.”
“So are you?” he asked expectantly.
“Am I what?” she answered.
He took her hand. “Eager.”
She ignored the comment. “Want to go inside? Dance, have a few drinks?”
“If you don’t mind,” he answered, “I’d rather go for a walk.” He hadn’t let go of her hand. She walked with him, silently, as they had on the previous night.
She broke the silence. “Look, Angel, you said you wanted to talk. Are we going to talk, or are you just trying to get some exercise?”
He led her to the bench at the nearest bus stop and sat beside her. “So,” Billie said, looking into his deep brown eyes, “What happened last night? I mean, you started it, and I was into it, and suddenly you shut right down. I figured that was it, and now you make this date, or whatever it is. Please explain things to me, ‘cause I’m a little confused right now.”
“Billie,” he said, “I didn’t expect this. It’s the last thing I expected. Your dad and I, well, there are a lot of things you don’t know. And your mom. She was once...very special to me. My world revolved around her. And you. I’ve known you since you were a baby. I’ve watched you grow up. There are too many strikes against this.”
“Okay,” said Billie, “You used to be mom’s boyfriend. I know that. You and dad used to hate each other. That’s not news to me. Don’t think that I expected this, either. But whatever happened last night, happened, and ignoring it isn’t going to change history. If you want us to stop now, I’ll try, but I don’t think it’s what I want. Is it what you want?”
He held her hands and stroked them with his thumbs. “Billie, when your mother died, it hurt like hell. And when Cordelia died...”
“I saw what happened,” she said. “I missed her so much. She’d been like my mom, her and Fred. But the hardest thing was watching you in pain. It broke my heart.”
“There’s a part of me that never wants to go through that again.” He brushed a long curly tendril from her face. “But last night…Have you ever seen someone that you never saw before, not really, until one moment when you looked at them and everything had changed, and you thought, ‘Maybe, just maybe I could love this person’?”
“Sure,” she answered. “Last night.”
He kissed her then. There was nothing left to say.
When Billie was four, she decided that she wanted to go out for Hallowe’en. Her father was against the notion. “Silly tradition,” he said, “trick or treat. Mind, I always liked the trick part.” Remembering the mayhem that often accompanied the festival in Sunnydale, he became even more adamant.
Cordelia defended her little friend. “Ah, Spike, let her go. All the kids around here go. Or we’ll take her to a better neighborhood, if you like, and I’ll go with her, and Fred. She’ll have fun.”
“And candy,” Fred added. She smiled. “I always liked the candy.”
“I’ll go too,” said Angel, “She’ll be safe.”
“No,” said Spike. “She’s my daughter. If anyone takes her, I will.” But on Hallowe’en night, Cordelia had a terrible vision, and Wesley insisted that Spike go and fight the demon, since the vision indicated that his participation was vital, so he reluctantly agreed to allow Angel and Fred to take her shelling out.
Billie walked door to door with delight, holding on tightly to Auntie Fred’s hand, while Angel walked behind them protectively. He knew why Spike was so worried, how he and Buffy had almost lost her right after she was born, and he was damned if he was going to let her down now. He was concerned that Spike would worry her right out of a normal life, a life that already was unlikely to really be normal, and he felt sorry for the poor little kid.
“I’m tired,” Billie cried. Angel picked her up in his strong arms and carried her back to the car. Fred looked with anticipation at the candy in the bags, but ‘Daddy has to check through it first,’ was the rule, and the two hungry girls looked longingly at the treat bag as the car sped home.
Spike was waiting when they arrived back at the hotel. Billie ran to his waiting arms. “Daddy, Daddy, I got candy. Check it Daddy. Auntie Fred wants some.”
“Let’s look at you first.” He smiled down at his daughter, but frowned when her costume registered. “Hey, whose bloody lame idea was this?” he lifted up the hem of the black plastic cape with distain. “Dracula?”
“I thought it was cute,” said Fred dejectedly. “It’s the one she wanted in the store.”
“Oh, well then,” replied Spike, “If that’s what my pet wanted, then I guess that it’s okay.”
Billie sat quietly in the front seat of Angel’s car. “Are you sure about this?” he asked. “Because if you’re not, I’ll turn right around and head home.”
She squeezed his knee lovingly. “I’m sure,” she said softly. “A little scared. Very excited.”
For weeks she and Angel had met secretly, trying to carry on their relationship under her father’s watchful eye. He seemed oblivious to the covert glances, the ‘accidental’ touches, the quick kisses when no one was around. Every night they could get away from work or studies, they met by ‘The Hot Box’ for rendezvous; dancing in the club, or going for long, romantic walks. They felt like they were going to burst under the pressure of secrecy.
Now they were taking things to the next step, heading for a upscale, uptown hotel. Angel pulled his big car to the front of the building and handed his keys to the valet. They took their overnight bags and walked hand and hand into the lobby, where Angel picked up their room key. The elevator to the tenth floor seemed to take forever.
Once inside the door, Angel kissed her and unbuttoned her blouse. She undid his shirt with trembling hands as they moved toward the big central bed. He was gentle, and considerate, and expressed his love tenderly and passionately.
Billie glowed on the bed beside her lover. This had been worth waiting for. She propped her head up with one bent arm as she twirled her fingers through his hair with her other hand. “Do I look like my mother?” she asked.
“Whoa,” he exclaimed. “Where did that come from?”
“I just want to know. Do I?” she hoped with all her heart that the answer would be what she wanted to hear.
“I’ve always seen some Buffy in you, I guess,” he answered. “It’s there,” he traced her mouth with his fingertip, “in your smile. Your eyes are Spike’s, but mercifully not his cheekbones, and I see some Dawn, too. Even some of your grandmother. But the package,” he kissed her, “The package is all Billie Joyce Summers.”
“Good answer,” she said, nestling in his arms.
Billie’s first date had been a disaster. Sean Miller picked her up to take her to a movie. As he was waiting in the hotel lobby for her to finish getting ready, her father gave him the third degree. And an ultimatum.
“Treat her good, boy,” said Spike threateningly, “or suffer. And keep your hands to yourself.”
Billie bounced down the stairs in her new outfit. “Your beau and I were just having a little chat,” Spike said to his daughter. “Weren’t we, Sean?”
“Ah, yeah,” Sean answered nervously. “Come on, Billie. We don’t want to be late for the movie.”
After finding seats in the theatre, Sean went back to the concession stand and picked up some popcorn and a soda with two straws. He brought it back to Billie. “Ah, Sean,” she asked, “can I get my own soda? I’ll pay for it.”
“No,” he said, “that’s okay. I’ll go get you a Coke.” He climbed back over the other patrons and waited in line a second time to by the overpriced drink. When he came back into the cinema the feature had started. “Great,” he muttered under his breath, “I wanted to see the beginning.”
Back in his seat, he handed Billie her soda. She groped in the dark for her purse, and pulled out a small bottle, from which she poured some of the contents into her drink. “What’s that?” he asked.
“Medicine,” she answered, spilling a bit of the liquid as she poured.
“Shh,” said an angry movie patron in the seat in front, as they quieted down to watch the film.
Billie waited for Sean to make some move, to try to put his arm around her shoulder or hold her hand, but he kept his fingers tightly wrapped around the popcorn container. As the lights came up at the end of the film, Sean looked at her and exclaimed, “Hey, what’s that down the front of your shirt? Looks like blood. Did ya have a nosebleed or something? The movie wasn’t that scary.”
“I spilled some medicine, that’s all,” said Billie, flushing with embarrassment. “Can we leave now?” she asked.
“Sure.” he replied. She was hoping he would take her out to a restaurant, or even for a walk, but to her disappointment he headed back towards Angel’s hotel. Thinking that he might be shy, she decided to make the first move and grabbed awkwardly at his hand. She was a little too aggressive. “Ow,” he yelled, “Hey! I think you broke my wrist. What are you, anyway?” He left her at the hotel door. “Listen, Billie, I think this was a mistake. I’ll see you at school, but no more dates, okay?” He bolted down the street.
Billie sobbed as she walked up to her room. “What’s wrong, love?” her father asked with concern. “He didn’t try anything, did he?”
“Boys are stupid!” she shouted, slamming the door to her room.
It was nearly dawn when Angel and Billie walked hand in hand to the back entrance of his hotel. They stopped to embrace for one last deep, passionate kiss, oblivious to their surroundings. “I love you so much,” Angel said to her softly, kissing her again.
“I love you too,” she replied. “We should go in. The sun will be up soon. I think...” Her voice was muffled by his lips on hers.
“What the hell is going on?” said an angry voice from the back of the building.
“Dad,” Billie said with shock. “We were just, I mean...”
“I see what you were doing.” Spike replied coldly. “Angelus, get your hands off my daughter.”
Her heart chilled. “Daddy, no, you don’t understand,” she pleaded.
“Billie, go inside and wait in your room. I mean it.” Spike opened the door and pushed her inside. He walked over to the taller vampire with determination and slammed his fist into Angel’s face. Angel refused to fight back.
“Spike, listen,” he said, wiping the blood from his mouth. “We were going to tell you. She hates deceiving you. But she knew you would react like this.” Spike hit him again, on the jaw. “I won’t fight you, Spike. I won’t hurt you.” He tried to put his hand on Spike’s shoulder, but the blonde vampire shrugged it off. “I love her, Spike.”
Spike looked at his old friend with stabbing blue eyes. “Billie and I will be leaving tomorrow,” he said, turning and stomping back into the hotel.
Billie crept silently into her father’s room and opened the bottom drawer of his dresser carefully. It squeaked a bit, and she looked over to Spike’s prone body in fear, but he remained in his deep sleep. She reached her hand into the bureau and pulled out a small, flat book that she knew had been her mother’s. She put the book on the floor and carefully closed back the drawer. Taking the book in her hand, she sneaked back to her own room and sat down on the bed.
She trembled with anticipation as she looked down at the book with ‘Buffy Anne Summers, Personal’ hand-written in a space on the cover. “Mom’s diary,” said Billie to herself. “Rats, it’s locked. Ah well, doubt that Dad has the key. Probably never read it.”
She easily broke open the small lock holding the diary shut and opened it randomly. “Hey,” she thought, “this is about Dad.” She read the passage in question. Angry tears in her eyes, she dropped the diary on the floor and stalked back into her father’s room. “How could you?” she screamed at him. “How could you do that to her?”
The vampire bolted upright in surprise. “Billie?” he asked, disoriented. “Billie, what’s wrong, what’s happened?”
“I read it, Dad,” she cried, “I read Mom’s diary. How could you do that? How could you lock her up and threaten to sic that woman on her. That woman that killed Mommy. How could you claim to love her and frighten her like that? She was afraid, Dad. She was afraid that you would kill her.”
Spike leaned forward in his bed and folded his arms over his knees, resting his head on his forearms. “You weren’t supposed to see that, pet. You’re too young to understand.”
“Too young?” she yelled. “I’m twelve years old. When would I be old enough for something like that? I thought you loved her, that she loved you. Were you lying to me, all along? How can I believe anything you say now?”
“Billie,” he pleaded. “I didn’t want you to read your mother’s diary yet. I was saving it ‘til you were older.” He pushed himself off the bed and stood beside her. “But now that you’ve started, read the rest. See what happened. Yes, I was a bloody idiot. I didn’t know how to make your mother love me like I loved her. But she did love me, in time. She loved me and she loved you.” He tried to hold her, but she pushed him away.
“I’ll read it, alright,” she replied. “But that doesn’t mean I’ll ever forgive you.”
Spike stormed into Billie’s room, his anger growing with each step he’d taken up the staircase. He had never been so disappointed in his daughter. He pointed his finger and said loudly, “Angel is not for you! Do you hear me?”
Billie replied coldly, “I don’t think that is your decision to make, Dad. I’m an adult.”
Spike tried to regain his composure. “I’m afraid that it is. Pack your bags. We’re moving back to Sunnydale.”
“No,” she replied, “I’m not.”
“Billie,” he pleaded, “you don’t know what you’re doing. That man, he’s caused so much pain. He’ll hurt you.” He took her hands and sat her on the edge of the bed. “He...he slept with your mother.”
“I know,” Billie replied. “Once. Thirty years ago. That has nothing to do with me. This is the man I love, Dad. The beautiful man who has helped take care of me all my life. The man who made Cordelia happy for ten years, who watched her waste away and looked at her with love when she was skin and bones and her hair had fallen out. I want that kind of love in my life, Dad. I want him.”
“Billie,” he said, “all my life I have given the women I love what they want to make them happy. But it stops now. I can’t give you this.” He tilted her head up in his hand, and looked into her clear blue eyes. “Don’t you see, he only wants you because you remind him of Buffy?”
“Of course he loves the Mom in me. He loves the you in me, too. But he loves me.” She tried to make him see. He wouldn’t listen.
“Buffy was his life. Cordy was his heart. You’ll never be the love of his life.” Spike tried to convince her.
Billie looked at her father angrily. “Love of his life, what does that mean? What is that? I don’t know what that is. I love him now. He loves me. It’s enough.” She put her hands on her hips and looked at her father with angry defiance. “Who was the love of your life, Dad? Mom, or the whore who murdered her?”
“I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.” Spike said, turning to leave. “I’m going back to Sunnydale.”
“Then go alone,” she called after him, “I’m moving in with Angel!”
Spike came to the mall office at the security guard’s call. His daughter looked very tiny in the large office. He was angry. Billie had disappointed him.
The guard was surprised to see the teenager’s father. He looked far too young. “You Summers?” he asked. Spike held out his hand reluctantly to the guard.
“William Summers. I’m Billie’s father. What’s she done?” Billie looked up at her father with tears in her eyes. She knew she had violated his trust.
“Minor shoplifting. Picked up one of those hair thingies and put it in her pocket. I ran her though the database, and there were no priors, so you can take her home. This time. However, I found these in her pocket.” He showed Spike a packet of cigarettes. “Tobacco is illegal, you know. I’m confiscating these.” He shoved the pack into his own pocket. “I won’t bring the police in this time. Just don’t let it happen again.”
“Thank you,” said Spike. “We appreciate your help.” He turned to Billie, “Don’t we, pet?” Billie didn’t answer.
“Right,” said the guard. “I’ll leave you two alone for a minute. I’m sure you have a few things to say to your daughter.” He turned to Billie, “Just you straighten up and fly right, little lady. You’re headed down a road that you won’t like traveling.” He left the office and closed the door behind him.
“Right,” said Spike to his daughter, “What’s the deal here?” She stared at him blankly. “Oh, come on, Billie, you don’t need a ‘hair thingy’, whatever that is. Why are you stealing?”
“You used to do it,” she said softly. “Dawn told me that you used to do it when you were shopping with her.”
“Your Aunt Dawn,” he replied, “never needed any coaching when it came to the five finger discount. And what does that have to do with you?”
“I don’t know,” said Billie. “I just wanted it.”
“Right. And the cigarettes?” he asked.
“You smoke,” she said.
“Well,” he replied. “Less than satisfactory answers. In any case, we have a little punishment waiting for you at home.” He pulled Billie out of the chair and walked her towards the door. “You are going to clean every bathroom in the hotel. Whether the rooms are being used or not.” Billie looked at him with shocked eyes. “And pet,” he said quietly, “I’m not exactly the poster boy for high moral standards. But I’ve tried to raise you right. Don’t disappoint me again. It hurts.”
“Hello, Spike,” Willow Rosenberg, founder and CEO of Rosenberg Digital Computers greeted her old friend as he walked though her office door. “It’s so good to have you back.”
The vampire sucked in an unneeded breath at the sight of his former, and now current, employer. He hadn’t seen her for a few years, keeping in touch through emails and chats, and he was shocked at the change. Worry lines had invaded her once pixy-like face, giving her the appearance of an aging leprechaun, and her once vividly red hair was faded and streaked with gray. She noticed his expression, and understood.
“Things change, don’t they old friend?” she said, running her fingers though her short bobbed hair. “People change. I’m forty-four now. Doesn’t seem possible.”
“Forty-four?” he thought. “Buffy would be forty-four.” But Willow didn’t look forty-four. She seemed twenty years older.
“I know,” she answered his unasked question. “I’m tired, Spike. Wearing out. You were right. About the magic. There are...ramifications.” She took his offered hand and stood up. “But it was worth it, most of the time. Worth it for Buffy, no matter what she thought, and worth it for Angel.”
“Thank you for taking me back,” he said, changing the topic. Angel was something that he was trying to escape.
“Of course. I’m not just doing it to help out a friend. I need you here. It’s getting harder for me to run things every day. I won’t be around for ever.” She paused at his worried expression. “Oh, don’t worry Spike, I’m not going anywhere for quite some time. I won’t leave you the company yet. Your presence will be comforting. I need a familiar face beside me.”
“Life is short, my friend,” she continued, “You may not see that, living immortally as you could, but I see it.”
“I see it,” replied Spike. “I think I see it more clearly. People I care about seem to last the length of a breeze.”
“Ah,” she said. “Then isn’t life too short to be apart from the ones we love most? Why are you here, Spike? You have another life in Los Angeles. As much as I want you here, why don’t you go back to your daughter? She must miss you terribly.”
“Will, it’s none of your bloody business.” He regretted the sharpness of his tone. Softer, he continued, “I can’t forgive her. Or him.” He looked at her with eyes of pain. “The hurt goes too deep this time. Every woman I’ve loved, he’s had. I’m damned if he’ll have Billie.”
“But,” replied Willow, “doesn’t he now? He loves her, I know that, and she loves him. But her heart is breaking because she hurt you. I know that too.”
“Willow,” he said, tears in his eyes, “what do I do?”
“Forgive her,” she answered, “and if you can’t, then accept her. She’s a grown woman, not your little girl. She has a right to her life. He may hurt her, probably will. I’m sure she’ll hurt him too. That’s part of the dance. But it’s their dance. You can’t protect her.”
Spike put his arms around her and held her close. “You’re a wise old bird, luv.”
“Just a friend,” she sighed, “just a friend who loves you.”
Fred and Spike were bringing Billie back from the playground. She dropped her ball, and ran to catch it. Before they could stop her, she was out in the street, and a car was careening wildly towards her. With a sickening thud it hit the tiny body and threw it into the air. Fred and Spike ran to her still form, and Spike feared the worst.
The car veered into a lamppost and crashed. The vampire ran towards it in a blind rage, and ripped the door from the passenger side. He pulled the drunken occupant onto the road, baring his fangs and preparing to strike, his face distorted like a parody of animal rage. Suddenly he dropped the frightened man as excruciating pain flooded the inside of his head. He growled in frustration at his impotence, wanting no more than to rip the driver’s head from his shoulders.
“Daddy,” a little voice said beside him. “Daddy, you okay?”
His face instantly reverted to human as he held his daughter close. “Billie, baby, Billie, you’re alright.” He looked up into Fred’s frightened eyes.
“She’s okay, I think. She’s really strong,” the young woman said. “She isn’t even bleeding. Maybe you should get her to a doctor, but I don’t think that there’s anything wrong.”
“Oh Billie, pet,” cried Spike, tears streaming down his face. “Never do that again. Daddy never, ever wants to lose you.”
Billie checked the messages on her email reader. She opened the one marked, ‘William Summers, RDC’.
“Hello, pet.” said her father’s voice. “I want to say that I’m sorry. I was selfish. I thought that this was between Angel and me, but now I see that it’s all about you. Your happiness.” Billie smiled with surprise. “You’re a big girl now, and it’s time to let go, at least a little. I won’t be coming back for a while. Your Auntie Willow needs me here, and it’s time I made my own life too. Maybe I resent Angel, just a little, because he was able to move on.”
“Be happy, love, and if you need anything I’ll be there in a heartbeat. You are, and will always be, the most precious thing in my life.” Tears ran down his daughter’s face. “You tell that big ponce, though, that if he ever causes you any pain, I’ll rip his bloody throat out.”
“Give Fred and Wesley my regards. I love you always.” The email shut off.
Billie picked up the small reader and ran down the stairs with it. “Darling,” she called, “You have to listen to this. It’s Daddy. He loves me.”
Angel took her in his arms. “Of course he does, Billie. You’re his heart.”
Spike and Buffy sat on the bench seat of the night bus to Sunnydale, their newly retrieved baby daughter nestled between them. “She’s so beautiful,” Buffy said. “I feel like I just got my heart back. I never want to let her out of my sight again.”
Her husband gently touched the sleeping baby’s curls. “She’s so perfect. I can’t believe she came from me. So innocent.”
His wife smiled and kissed his hand. “You should see you when you’re sleeping.”
“Buffy,” he asked, “do you think...do you think that I can make it as a father? I’m nervous. This is all so new to me.”
Buffy smiled. “Just love her,” she answered. “Just love her like you love me. Everything will work out fine.”
“Whatcha working on?” Billie Summers climbed onto her husband’s lap. “New case?”
“Yep.” Angel tried to crane his head around her body. “Or I would be, if I could see the monitor.”
“Oh.” She opened her eyes wide with innocence. “Am I in the way?”
He hit the shutdown key. “Not anymore.” Wrapping his arms around her, he lost himself in her kiss. “Hmmm. So. How was your day?”
“The producer wants massive cuts. I’ll be another week on the project. But that’s not the main thing. I went to the doctor today. We need to talk.” She saw his face fall, realizing that he would fear the worst. “No, don’t worry.” She kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
He looked into her eyes, remembering another day. The day Cordelia said, ‘We have to talk.’ The day that started her long road into darkness. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” A smile played over her lips. “Nothing is wrong. It just looks like I’m not so unique anymore. It looks like that miracle we were hoping for finally happened.” She held his gaze, nodding slightly.
“A baby?” he whispered. “You’re pregnant?” Their faces broke out in matching wide grins, as he stood away from his desk, holding her up in the air. He kissed her again, gently, reverently. “I love you.”
“Then put me down. I’m getting airsick.” She stood, her hands wrapped tightly around his waist, head on his chest. “Just for the record, I love you, too.”
“How are you? How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?”
“Well,” she sighed. “You could tell Dad for me.”
“Can I get you anything else?”
Spike sat in his office, pouring over company reports. The weaker Willow grew, the more responsibility faced him. It hurt him to see his friend. Every passing year left a heavier imprint on her, and he feared that time was running out. The consequences of magic lay hard on her. Willow was wasting away before him, and it saddened him.
His monitor blinked, and he clicked it on. “Hello, Spike,” a familiar face said.
“Hello, boss.” He looked at the lines around her face, her graying hair, her fading eyes. In her late forties, and she looked seventy. “The Quelco merger is lookin’ to be a go.”
“Fine. That’s not why I wanted to talk to you.” She coughed a bit, holding her fist to her mouth. “I want to send you some of my private files to sort through. Various things. Project notes, concepts I never got around to fleshing out. I want you to take a look and see if there’s anything of use. I wouldn’t trust anyone else, and I just don’t seem to be up to it myself.”
“Sure thing. I’ll get right on it. And Red...?”
“Yes?”
“How are you? Really, I mean.”
His old friend smiled. “Good as can be expected.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Am I interrupting?” Maria Ricardo backed her way out of Angel’s office, only slightly embarrassed by the familiar sight of her boss in his wife’s arms. “I can come back later.”
“No, Maria, come in.” It was impossible to appear nonchalant as Billie wiped the lipstick off his lower lip with her thumb. “We were just...”
“Talking,” Billie interrupted. “We were talking.” She raised her eyes at Angel, trying to give him an ‘I’m not ready to tell anyone yet, so don’t you’ signal, and he must have caught it.
“Talking. Right. How’s the case going?” Angel tried to concentrate on Maria’s words, but he was far too preoccupied.
“I’m going to have a little nap before supper. Long day.” Billie pecked Angel’s cheek and headed out the office door. “See you both later.”
Spike rubbed his eyes, starting on yet another of Willow’s folders. He sorted and deleted material, looking for viable ideas, when one file caught his eye. “Resurrection.” He clicked it open, and his eyes opened wide at the header. “Spell for the Resurrection and Rehumanization of Disembodied Vampires.” He started to scroll down the page. “Buffy,” he whispered.
Fred knocked softly on Billie’s door. “Come in,” the young woman called.
“Hey, Sweetie,” Fred said. “I heard you were lying down, and I just wanted to see how you were. Aren’t you feeling well?”
“I’m okay.” She patted the bed and Fred sat beside her. “Just a little tired.”
“You look a bit pale. Can I get you some tea?”
“Aunt Fred, I’m fine. Don’t go fussing over me.” She took her hand. “So, what’s going on with Uncle Wes? Did you go out with him?”
“Coffee. We just had coffee.” Fred smiled a tiny secret smile. “I’ve known him for twenty-five years. If something was going to happen, it would have happened long ago. Wouldn’t it?”
“Maybe. Maybe not.” She looked up at the older woman. “I think he was respecting Uncle Charles.”
“I lost him so long ago. I miss him, every day. But we were talking about Wesley. You really think he’s still interested? We had such a nice time.”
“Oh, I think he’s interested. More than interested.” She squeezed Fred’s hand. “Don’t wait. Take what you can. I’ve watched my father pine over my mother until he has no life left. I’ve watched you, too, missing Uncle Charles. He’d want you to be happy.”
“I think maybe I could be.” She looked with concern at Billie. “There is something wrong. What is it?”
“I just feel a bit nauseous. I’m fine.”
Fred’s eyes widened. “Are you pregnant?” She knew she was right by Billie’s expression. “Have you told Angel? This is wonderful!”
“Angel knows. He’s ecstatic. But please, don’t tell Wes or Maria. I want to tell Dad first.”
“Oh.” Fred patted her younger friend’s hand. “Good luck.”
“You knew!” Spike waved his palmtop in the air. “You knew this could bring her back! You’ve known for years and you didn’t tell me!”
“I knew.” Willow sat back in her chair, hands folded in her lap. “I knew the spell existed. I even considered using it, briefly. But I won’t go down that road again.”
“You won’t,” he shouted. “You decided. What about me? Thought you were through with leavin’ me out of the loop. First you bring her back, rip her out a heaven without me. Then you decide that you won’t give me the choice a pullin’ her out of hell.” He leaned over the chair. “I thought you were my friend. My best friend.”
“I am your friend.” Willow took a deep breath, coughing. “Look at me, Spike. Really look at me. These are the consequences for meddling with dark magicks. You used to know that.”
“But Buffy...”
“Is dead. Twenty-five years. And you don’t know that she’s in hell. We don’t know what happens to the human when the vampire is born. You don’t even know.” She pinched her nose between her fingers, trying to ward off the headache she knew was forming. “We don’t even know if that spell works. I won’t put you through that. You, or her.”
He dropped to the ground and knelt in front of her. “But Will. I miss her. Ev’ry day it gets worse. She’s all I think of. It’s not supposed to be like that.”
Willow put her hand on his head, as he leaned it on her lap. “No, it isn’t. I’ve been so unfair. I’ve kept you here, out of selfishness, when this job isn’t your nature. You should be with your daughter, your family.” She stroked his head. “No wonder you think of Buffy so, here in Sunnydale. You should be with Billie.”
“I can’t be with her. Not and see her with him.” He looked up with tear filled eyes. “Why did she have to pick him, Red? All the men in the world and it had to be him.”
With a beep Willow’s monitor opened. “Aunt Willow? Hello? Is dad there?”
Spike wiped his eyes and rose, stepping to the desk. “Yes, baby. I’m here.”
“Dad, I need you to come to LA. I need to talk.”
“This is a bad time, Sweetheart. Can’t you tell me now?” He melted at the sight of her face, mouth so like Buffy’s. His blue eyes.
“In person, Dad. I need to talk in person.” Her eyes were pleading. “Please.”
“Okay, pet. Anything for you.” He frowned. “Is something wrong? Did Angelus...”
“Nothing like that. Just get here as soon as you can. Bye. Love you.” The monitor clicked off.
“Go,” Willow smiled. “It’s good timing. I’ll be fine. About time I gave your assistant something to do. And Spike?”
“Yeah?”
She pointed to his palmtop. “About that spell. Don’t be foolish.”
“No promises.”
He walked through the front door of the Hyperion Hotel, his bag slung over his arm. So many years spent in these walls, and now the place seemed alien, unreal. But his little girl lived here, so a part of him would always call it home.
“Daddy?” Billie ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck. “Oh, Daddy, I missed you.”
“Ah, pet.” He held her close. It had been far too long.
“Spike.” At the sound of the other vampire’s voice, his body stiffened.
“Peaches.”
“Welcome back.” Angel held out his hand, but Spike ignored it.
“So, Sweetheart, what was so important you couldn’t tell your dad over the phone, then?” He stepped back from her embrace. Realized there was another person in the room.
“I want to tell you, Dad. But I need to tell you alone.” She gestured to the woman watching from the sidelines. “Dad, this is Maria Ricardo. She’s the other investigator here.”
Spike walked over to the woman and put out his hand. “Hi. Call me Spike.”
Maria smiled, a broad beaming smile. Her eyes sparkled. “I’ve heard so much about you. All good things.” She held the handshake. “So you’re Billie’s dad.”
“Guilty.” There was something about her eyes. They were dark, brown and deep. Her lips were red and full. But a man could lose himself in those eyes. He pulled back his hand. “Worked here long?”
“Three years.” She had never seen eyes so blue. “I think I’m your replacement.”
“Ah.” He turned back to his daughter. “You want to talk now? Or shall I settle in first?”
“Oh, no rush.” She looked over to Angel; caught his disapproving stare. “Or now’s fine.”
“You can use my office,” Angel said.
“I don’t believe it.” Spike stared at his daughter, face registering no emotion. “There must be some mistake.”
“No mistake. I’m pregnant.” Her eyes filled with tears. “Geez, Dad, can’t you be happy for me? For once?”
“But he’s a vampire.”
“Oh, that’s rich, coming from you.” She put her hands on her hips, a gesture so like her mother. “Is that what you said, when she told you about me? That it couldn’t be true?”
His voice was cold. “That’s different.”
“God, Dad. Get over it. I’m married to Angel. I’m having his baby.” She clenched her jaw. “This is just like at the wedding.”
“I was at the weddin’.”
“Yeah, you were there.” She hit her chest with the flat of her hand. “But you weren’t there for me. You hated it. You couldn’t stand that I love him. That I want to be with him.” Her lip trembled. “What went wrong? You were friends. For twenty years, you were friends. You worked together, side by side. He was there for you when mom died, in a way nobody else could be. How can you hate him so much now?”
Spike didn’t say anything. His face was unreadable.
“This is reality.” She grabbed his hand and laid it on her abdomen. “This is your grandchild. Deal.”
He sensed something. Not a heartbeat, not yet. But something. Life. His face softened.
“Oh, Dad, I love you. You’re a great person. I want my baby to know you, too. Is that too much to ask?”
He pulled her tight against him, stroking her hair. His little girl. Her mother’s daughter. “I love you, Billie.” He kissed her forehead. “But don’t expect too much of me.”
Spike had gone up to his room to settle in. Billie was sitting with Angel and Maria in the lobby. They could tell she’d been crying. Angel stood up and paced. “This is so like him.”
Maria shifted uncomfortably. “Look guys, I don’t know what’s going on, but I feel like a fifth wheel here. I should go.”
“No.” Billie looked down at the carpet, tracing the pattern in her mind. “Don’t go. Just something we need to work out. I’ll tell you later.”
“I’m going to talk to him.” Angel’s jaw was set.
“Honey, don’t. Just let him be.” She played with her fingers. “He’ll come around.”
Angel stood there, trying to control his anger. He pointed at his wife, like he was going to say something, then turned and bounded up the stairs.
“Oh, shit.” She wiped tears from her eyes, shaking her head. “I didn’t want it to be like this.”
Maria sat closer to the younger woman, wrapping her arms around Billie. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m sorry.” She looked towards the stairs. “Your father is a very lonely man.”
“Hm?” Billie sighed. “Yeah, I guess he is.”
“You didn’t tell me he was so handsome.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, I guess he is.” She snuggled next to the other woman. “He’s never gotten over my mom. And he’s never gotten over her relationship with Angel. Before they were together.” She grasped Maria’s hand. “And if you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, good luck.”
Angel shoved the suite door open. “Don’t do this to her.”
Spike didn’t look up from unpacking his suitcase. “Do what?”
“You know what.” The taller vampire pulled Spike up to his full height. “Steal her joy. She’s happy. She wants this baby so much. So do I.”
“So, I’m just supposed ta smile and pretend like everything’s hugs an’ puppies, then? Cause right now there’s a twist in my gut, and it won’t go away.” He looked defiantly at the taller vampire. “This is all right warped, ain’t it? My grandsire and my only daughter. Buffy’s lover and her little girl. But I’m supposed to be happy.”
“No. Nobody’s asking you to be happy.” There was pleading in his eyes. “I’m asking you to let her be happy. Because she loves you so much.”
“And she loves you more.” Spike took a jacket from his suitcase and hung it in the closet. “I have to unpack. Things’r getting wrinkled.”
“You’re just jealous. That’s all it is, isn’t it? You couldn’t stand to see her with anyone, and you sure as hell can’t stand to see her with me.” He spun Spike around. “Let her be happy.”
“Back off, Angelus.”
“Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare hurt her. Not again.” Spike looked up at the ceiling, avoiding Angel’s stare. “I don’t care if you are my father-in-law.” He stopped, looked at Spike, and laughed. A simple, heartfelt laugh. “Sorry. That just sounds so weird.”
Despite himself, Spike smiled. “That it does.” He looked at Angel now. “You love her. I get that. Who wouldn’t?” He twisted the wedding band he’d worn for almost thirty years. “A baby. It’ll take some time.”
“Want a drink?”
Spike followed him out the door. “Hell, why not?”
“You don’t belong there, stuck behind a computer. It must drive you crazy.” Angel rested his elbows on the table, his glass in between them. “You used to love the hunt.”
“Don’t.” Spike leaned back in the kitchen chair, swirling the blood in the glass in his hand. “When Cordelia died, if there’d been a way to bring her back, would you a done it?”
“Yes.” Angel looked down at his own drink. “Maybe. Not like she was. You remember.”
“Yeah,” Spike took a swig of the blood. “I remember.”
“But whole and healthy again? I would have killed for the chance. We’d still be together,” he took a slow sip of his drink, “and Billie and I would never have been. This baby would never have been.” He stopped and looked at the other vampire. “Why speculate? You can’t turn back time. I wouldn’t want to.”
“Just thinkin’ out loud.”
Maria walked through the kitchen door. “Oh, there you are, Angel. Can I see you in your office? I think we’ve caught a break on the G’rzlk case.” She acknowledged the other vampire’s presence with a smile. “Hi, Spike.”
“Maria.”
Angel rose from his chair and headed out the door. “I’ll be right back, Spike.”
“No hurry.” He realized the dark haired woman was still standing at the doorway. “Yeah, luv?”
“I was just wondering. I mean, I know it’s been a while since you lived here in town. Would you like to go out for coffee sometime?” She could kick herself for her awkwardness. It wasn’t like her.
“That’s kind a you.” The smile left his eyes. “But I’m not really a coffee drinker. Sorry.”
“Oh.” She tried not to let the hurt show on her face. “I’ll be in the boss’ office, then.”
Billie passed her as she came through the door. “Hey.” When Maria didn’t answer, she sat down on the chair her husband had vacated. “I heard you and Angel talking, earlier. Not that I was eavesdropping, or anything.”
“Course not.” He realized what he was drinking, and moved the glass away from his daughter.
“It’s human, he gets it from the blood bank, and no, I’ve never tried it. Angel and I don’t keep secrets, Dad.” She stood up and walked over to the big refrigerator, pulling out a jug of milk. “Baby’s thirsty.” Pouring a glass for herself, she pulled a jar of pig’s blood from the side of the door and topped off the milk, stirring it with a spoon until it was tinged pink. “Wonder if my baby will have to do this.”
“Your doctor, does he know?”
“She knows. She specializes in unusual births. In fact, she’s not quite human herself.” She walked over to her father and put her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry. I know what happened with the doctor when I was born. We can trust her.”
He covered her hand with his. “Still can’t believe it. My baby with a baby.”
“Oh, when I’m fat and start waddling around, it will be easy enough to believe. If you stay long enough to see me, that is.”
He pulled back, taking another drink. “Willow needs me.”
“I need you.” She realized where this was leading. “I don’t want to fight. Let’s take it a day at a time.” She leaned over and kissed his forehead. “I have my father today.”
“I wish your mother were here. To share this with you, I mean.”
Billie sat back down. “I wish I could remember her. I’ve seen her pictures, of course, but that’s not like remembering.” She sat up straight. “Fred’s been a great mom. What’s done is done. Enough with the maudlin.” Her eyes flashed with mischief. “Maria likes you.”
“I gathered that. Seems like a nice girl. Where’d Angel find her?”
“Uncle Wes met her on a case he was working on. She was a cop. I think she liked the idea of the freedom of working with the agency. So he offered her a job.”
“Then Maria and Wesley...”
“Are coworkers.” She looked her father with disbelief. “You know he totally loves Fred, don’t you?”
“Still?” He looked into the ruby liquid in his glass. “Persistent bastard, isn’t he?”
“Not as persistent as some.” She stared at her father. “When are you going to move on? I hate seeing you in pain. Mom’s gone. She isn’t coming back.”
“Maybe,” he muttered.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Spike walked into the lobby, clutching the bag in his hands. It hadn’t been easy, but he’d found everything on his list. Everything he’d need. He could do it. He could do it tonight.
“Spike. I’ve been waiting for you. Can I speak to you a moment?”
Spike turned to the distinguished middle-aged man. Funny, as he got older, how much he resembled Giles. “Bit busy right now Wesley. Can it wait?”
“I suppose so.” Wesley showed no sign of stepping out of the way. “It’s just that, Angel and I have been talking, and, well, we really could use you back here at the firm. You’re assistance was invaluable in the past, and you’ve been sorely missed.”
“I have a job.” His eyes strayed to the staircase. “I really have to go.”
Wesley laid his hand on Spike’s shoulder. “Just think about it.”
He lay the elements out on the floor beside his bed. Lit a candle and began the chant. His arms ached for her. Soon she’d be back, and she’d be his. She would be so proud of Billie. Everything would be good again.
In the smoke of the candle he could see her face. Nothing had ever been as beautiful as her. She would be human again. Just like she was before Drusilla...
Or would she be? Who would she be? Would she be his sweet girl, his magnificent Slayer? Or would she be that creature that taunted him, before crumbling into dust.
Would she really be Buffy? Or some interloper with her form. He pictured her eyes as she stood on the stairs, the night she came back. Her eyes full of fear and death, torment and despair. The coldness in her eyes as she slowly came back to life, week by week, struggling with the pain of her return. They had thought they’d saved her from hell, when she’d really been torn from heaven. How could he think she was in torment now, the real her, the good her.
“What the bloody hell am I doin’?” He pushed the elements aside, blew out the candle, and wept.
Billie was in the lobby with the others the next night, when he came down the stairs, his luggage over his shoulder. “You’re going?” she cried. “Already?”
“Oh, love, no, don’t cry.” He took her into his arms. “Just for a bit. I need to go back for a month, help train some people. Can’t leave your Aunt Willow in the lurch.” He turned to Wesley. “That is, if the job offer still stands.”
Wes clapped his hand on Spike’s shoulder. “That’s marvelous news. Get back as quick as you can.”
Angel took his hand. “I’m glad.”
“Be good to her, Angel. Her and the little tyke. You’ll find there’s nothing more precious to you than the life you’ve made together.” Spike looked him straight in the eye. “And I’ll be here to see that you get it right.”
Maria walked over to him. “It was nice meeting you. I’m glad we’ll get a chance to work together.”
“So am I.” Her eyes were so dark and deep. “When I get back, what say we go get that coffee?”
She stretched her leg out, resting her foot in his lap. He diligently applied the little brush to
each toenail in turn. “You have lovely
feet, you know that pet?” he asked, bending over to plant a kiss on her instep.
“Really, carino?
Thank you kindly.” She leaned
back onto the pillow. “And you are far too adept with the nail polish.”
“Used to do my fingernails.
Nice rich black.” He held up his
left forefinger and considered the nail.
“Maybe it’s time I started again.” He flicked the brush over the
surface. “Nope. Red’s just not my colour.”
“I don’t know,” Maria laughed. “Red’s the colour of fire.
Of passion.” She took the polish
bottle off the bed and sat it on the nightstand. Beckoning him towards her, she gasped as he kissed her
throat. “I think it suits you quite
well.”
“Okay, honey, breathe.
Little panting breaths ...”
Billie copied her husband.
“Huh...huh...huh...”
“And one cleansing breath.”
“Wooosh.”
He smiled down at her, her back supported by his chest. “You’re doing great.”
The instructor laid her hand on Angel’s shoulder. “Fine coaching. Now, hopefully you can keep it up during labour, with her
fingernails digging into your arm.”
“That’s okay,” Billie laughed, “I’ll trim them first.”
He wrapped his arms around her, his hands resting on the
swell of her belly. “This is really
real. We’re going to have a baby.”
“Yep. I think
so.” She twisted around to kiss
him. “Only one month to go.”
Alex Harris sorted through the files on Willow’s
laptop. Ever since he had replaced
Spike as her assistant, she had trusted him with more and more sensitive
information. He looked down at the
screen and whistled. “Dad’s going to want to see this.”
He walked into the lobby, greeted by a familiar sight. He was trying to get used to it, deal with
the sight of them wrapped up in each other. His precious baby girl and his
sometimes friend, oft times enemy. He cleared
his throat, loudly.
Angel and Billie pulled apart. “Oh, hi dad,” she exclaimed.
“How was the...” she covered her mouth, trying to suppress a smile,
“stakeout.”
“Stakeout.
Yeah. Right. That Maria, she’s a right good, ah,
detective.”
“Run into any trouble?
Any... action?” She blinked
innocently.
“Action?”
She pointed to his head.
“Your hair. It’s all mussed up.”
“Oh, well, action, right...” Time to change the
subject. “So, how was the Lamaze
class?”
Angel put his arms around his wife, as she leaned back
against him. “Your daughter’s very good at breathing.”
“She’s got us beat then, eh, mate?”
A commotion at the front door caught the trio’s attention,
as a beaming middle aged couple stepped into the lobby, the man carrying a
plethora of suitcases. “Home, sweet
home,” he exclaimed.
“Ah, the lovebirds return to the nest.” Spike walked over to the man and relieved
him of some of his burden.
“Auntie Fred! Uncle
Wes!” Billie propelled herself into the
woman’s open arms.
“Look at you!” Fred
could barely get her arms around the young woman. “You’re getting huge.”
“Don’t say that,” Billie laughed. “I’ve got a month to go.”
Angel slapped his hand on Wesley’s shoulder. “So, how was the honeymoon?”
“England’s so beautiful,” Fred sighed. “I almost hated to leave.”
“Beautiful, right.”
Spike carried the bags over to the elevator. “Bet it rained the whole time.”
“Well,” Wes replied.
“Not the whole time. It was a
delightful visit.”
“And it’s not like we spent that much time outside.” Fred realized what she’d said, and blushed.
Angel drew his two old friends into a big bear hug. “Welcome home, guys.”
Alex Harris knocked on the apartment door. He hadn’t called ahead; his father rarely
went out after work. He heard shuffling
inside. “Hey, dad,” he called through
the door. “It’s me. Alex.”
Xander Harris invited his son in. The tall man was paunchy and balding, but strong armed and broad
shouldered, thanks to thirty years of construction work. “How are you son? Everything okay?”
“Fine, dad. There’s
something I want to talk to you about. Something I think will interest you.”
“Okay.” He gestured to the couch. “Sit down. Can I get you
anything? A beer?”
“Just a soda. You
aren’t drinking again, are you dad?”
“Naw.” He handed his
son a can of coke. “Just keep it around
to be social. So, hear from your mom
lately?”
“I saw her last week.
She’s doing well.” No empty
bottles on the dining room table. That was a good sign.
“Did she mention me?”
“Um, probably nothing you’d want to hear.” He sat his briefcase on the coffee table and
cracked it open. “I found this, going
through Aunt Willow’s files. You know
that friend of yours you always talk about? Buffy Summers?”
Xander sat beside his son.
“What about Buffy?”
“It’s just that, I remember you telling me all these wild
stories. About how you and mom and Aunt Willow brought her back from the dead,
and how she saved the world. How she
was a vampire Slayer, and how she died a vampire.”
“I know the stories.”
He took the papers from his son’s hand.
“What is this?”
“This is supposed to be some sort of spell. Supposed to bring dusted vampires back to
life as mortals. I doubt there’s
anything to it. If there were, Willow
would have used it long ago.” He shut
the case with a snap. “But I knew you’d
want to see it. If just for curiosity’s
sake.” He stood to go. “Thanks for the soda. I have to hurry home; Beth will kill me if
I’m late for dinner again.” He tapped
his father on the shoulder. “See you
later.”
“Yeah son,” he replied, as he saw Alex out. “See you.”
He looked at the papers in his hand, sucked in a deep
breath, went to the fridge, and with a shaking hand downed a can of beer.
“And this is for the baby.”
Fred pulled a bag from the open suitcase on her bed. “Wesley says it’s very English.”
“Oh, it’s so cute. A
teddy bear.” Billie hugged the stuffed
toy. “Hello baby,” the bear said to her
tummy, with a very bad British accent.
“It’s not a teddy bear.
It’s called a Rupert Bear. I’m
not sure why.” She sighed. “The name
made Wesley kind of sad.”
“Because of Uncle Rupert.
They used to be friends.”
“I know.” Fred
placed her hand on Billie’s abdomen.
“How’s the little one?”
“Can’t you tell?”
Fred cooed with delight.
“Oh. It’s moving. I can feel
it.” She took her hand away, resting it
on her own flat stomach.
“What’s wrong, Auntie Fred?”
“I envy you. Charles
and I weren’t ready. Wesley and I
waited so long. I’ll never have what
you have.”
Billie put her arms around her. “You’ve been like a mother to me. I know this little one will need you too.”
“Thank you, honey.
But it’s not the same.” She
wiped the tears from her eyes. “But we
can’t change the past. What’s done is
done. And that little baby,” she put
her head on Billie’s shoulder, “is going to have so many people who love
her. Or him.”
“Night guys.” Angel
clamped his hand on Wes’ shoulder.
“Welcome back. We missed you.”
“Thanks.” The
Englishman watched his best friend head out the door, then turned to
Spike. “You two seem to be getting
along.”
“Yeah.” Spike picked
up his glass of blood. “Have to. For
Billie’s sake. She loves him.” He took a swallow. “So, how was jolly ol’?”
“It was good. Funny
though. I realized being there, that
this is home.”
“I know. Felt that
for a long time. Still, wouldn’t mind a
trip back. I wish that Buffy...” He looked down into his drink.
“I went to pay my respects to Giles. They keep the plot well, the Council. Wish they’d treated him as well when he was
alive.” He sipped his scotch. “Did you ever forgive him?”
“In my mind, yeah.
She wouldn’t have wanted that, not my girl. But it was never the same between us.”
“I’m sorry.” They
sat, awkwardly. “So, Maria. Still seeing her?”
Spike smiled. “She’s
a lovely woman. Things’r goin’ ...
well.”
“I’ve learned something, Spike. Take the joy while you can.
I waited so long for Fred. We
danced around each other, when we could have been so happy, so long ago. I passed up the chance for a family, out of
stupid pride. Don’t make my mistakes.”
“I’m tryin’. I
really am. Buffy’s long gone, an’ I
know it.” He swirled the blood in his
glass. “I want to be happy again.”
“If you can love Maria, then love her. And if you do, don’t let anything stop
you.” He downed the remainder of the
liquid. “Time to go. My wife’s waiting.” He sat the glass on the table. “And god knows, we’ve waited long enough.”
They were simple things.
Things he had around his apartment, or could buy at the grocery
store. Just as well, with the Magic Box
long closed. He lit the candle and read
over the ritual.
Sunnydale had been quiet for years, with a gradual decrease
in the vampire population and the Hellmouth all but inactive. He suspected the Willow had something to do
with that. He believed her physical
deterioration had more causes than the spells she’d admit to. He wished that Willow were with him
now. He wasn’t a magician, just an
ordinary guy that was good with his hands.
But if his friend the witch had wanted to do this, she would have years
ago. He was on his own. He’d have to be up to it.
The elements assembled in a circle around him, he began the
chant. Seemed so much simpler than the one that the four of them had performed
almost thirty years ago. No sacrificial
Bambis, no Egyptian urns. Most likely
he was wasting his time, but it wasn’t like he had anything else to do.
The room seemed hot; the air thick. He realized that he was panting. Hard to catch his breath. This would be a hell of a time for a heart
attack. The air was abuzz. Dust swirled around his head, danced around
the room, and settled in front of him.
But it wasn’t dust anymore.
The frail, pale-skinned blonde woman screamed, and
collapsed.
“My life is perfect.”
Billie snuggled close to her husband in the big bed. “I have the man I love, I’m having his baby,
and I’m the best damn film editor in Hollywood.”
“And I thought you were an assistant film editor at a tiny
studio,” Angel teased.
She smacked him on the chest. “I’m still the best.”
He kissed her deeply.
“In oh, so many ways.”
Xander stared at her prone body. He had wrapped the afghan around her naked form and laid her on
the couch. God, she was beautiful. He was still in shock. Deep down, he’d never expected the ritual to
work. Yet, here she was, his Buffy in all her living glory. At least, she looked like Buffy.
The young woman stirred and looked up at him. “Mr. Harris? Where, where am I? What
are you...”
He placed his hand on her forehead. No fever.
“Hey, Buff. It’s me,
Xander. How are you?”
“Xander?” She stared
at him. “What happened to you?”
He grinned down at her.
“It’s a long story. God, it’s
good to have you back.”
“Back? Where was
I?” She looked around the apartment,
then down at the comforter. “Where are
my clothes?”
“Oh, geez. I didn’t
think of that. Anya left a bag with a
few things, I’ll get them for you.” He
started towards the bedroom.
“Xander, where’s Angel?”
“What?” He stopped
and turned back towards her. “LA. Why?”
“Los Angeles? What’s
he doing there? I have to see him.”
“Why, Buffy?”
“Why do you think? He’s my boyfriend. I love him.”
In the end, she had to drag him out of his office. “You can work on that case tomorrow. You may not need to sleep at night, but I
do.” As they stood in the lobby, Billie
drew Angel into a deep kiss. “You know,
it’s been a long time since we did it out here.”
“Ohhh, you want to live dangerously. You sure you’re up for it? Anyone could walk in.” He laid his hand on her stomach. “Wouldn’t want the baby to be embarrassed.”
“So true. It could
traumatise the little thing. For the
moment, I’ll settle for this.” She pulled him back down and pressed her lips to
his. “Mmmmm.”
“Angel!” They broke
the kiss and spun around, to see a fragile young woman standing, staring. “Who is this?”
Angel gasped. It
wasn’t possible. He felt a chill run up
his spine. “Buffy?”
“What?” Billie
looked at the woman. She had seen that
face before. Seen it in the photos on her father’s walls, on his desk. Seen it smile back at her, holding her. Her voice was weak. “Mommy?”
“Angel, I’m waiting.
First I find out you’ve taken off to LA, then I find you with, well,
her.” She pointed an accusing finger.
“This isn’t possible.
I don’t understand.” He stared
at the woman in disbelief. “Who are
you, really? What is this?”
“Don’t try to turn this back on me. I find you kissing this pregnant woman...”
“My wife.” He took
Billie’s hand and squeezed it. “This is
my wife. Your...”
“Wife!” Buffy’s
fists clenched with anger. “That’s not
possible. How long?”
The scene was interrupted by the noisy couple coming through
the door. “Shh, bebe,” the woman
laughed. “People may be sleeping.”
“Nope,” he replied.
“Billie and Angel are still up.
With a late night client, it seems.”
The blonde woman spun around. His
heart jumped into his throat. “Buffy?”
he whispered.
“Buffy?” Maria felt the world shift, as the floor fell out
from under her feet. “Your Buffy?”
“Spike!” Buffy
looked around for a weapon, found a stake on the reception counter, and ran
towards the vampire with it. He was
paralysed with shock.
She was about to plunge the wood into his chest when a
strong hand grasped her forearm. “He’s
a friend.”
She turned to see Angel looking down at her. “What the hell is going on?” she asked. She burst into tears. “Please, please, someone explain this. I don’t understand.”
Xander came running into the lobby. “Buffy, I told you to wait outside while I
parked the car.”
Spike strode over to the man and grabbed him by the shirt
front, ignoring the pain that flared behind his eyes. “Harris, you idiot. What have you done?”
*****
“You should take better care of yourself.” Fred ran her finger around the large bruise
on her husband’s upper arm without touching it. “We aren’t kids, anymore.”
“Sometimes there’s just no one else to do the job. I couldn’t very well ask the demon to wait
for Spike to show up and help.” He
sighed as she lay her forehead on his chest.
All these years of loneliness,
the dream was finally the reality.
“I’m sorry. I’m rather sore
tonight.”
“That’s okay,” she smiled.
“Cuddling is good too.”
*****
“You must have known about the spell. I did what you didn’t have the balls to
do.” Xander looked at Maria, her hand
on Spike’s arm. “And I guess I see
why.”
“Alex. Alex gave you
the spell from Willow’s files. And you
never thought of the consequences. Just
plunged ahead. ‘N now Buffy’s the one
sufferin’. Look at her. How could you
do that to her again? She’s terrified.”
“Xander,” Buffy exclaimed, “What’s he talking about? What spell?” She spun back to Angel. “Please, someone tell me what’s going
on?”
Billie reached out for her.
“Mommy? What’s going on? I don’t understand. I...”
She clutched her abdomen as the pain hit. “Oh, God. No. Not now.
It’s too soon.”
Angel supported her.
“Billie? What’s wrong.”
“The baby. I
think...” Her face went white as
another contraction hit. “Please, no.”
In a flash, Spike had dropped hold of Xander and was beside
his daughter. “It’ll be all right,
pet. Don’t be afraid.”
Xander clutched Buffy by the wrist. “Come with me. I’ll explain later. We
have to go.” He pulled her out the door
before Maria could stop them.
“Come on, baby. Sit
down.” Angel led her to a chair. “It’s going to be okay. It has to be okay.”
Billie looked up at her father through pained eyes. “Was that, was that mom?”
“I think so.” He
looked around the lobby for her, but she was gone. “Bloody hell!”
*****
The phone rang on the nightstand. Fred bolted up in the bed. “Who could that be at this hour?”
“I’ll see.” Wesley
picked up the receiver. “Hello? What?
Yes, of course. Right
away.” He hung up the phone.
“Who is it, Sweetheart?”
“Angel. He wants us
down in the lobby. Now.” He got up and started pulling on his
trousers.
“It must be something important.” She started to rise.
“I’m not sure that I’ve ever heard him this upset.”
*****
“Breathe, honey. Just breathe.”
“I can’t.” Her grip
on the armrest was so tight she was cracking the wood. “It hurts.”
Wes came running down the stairs, rumpled and hastily
dressed. Fred followed at his heels,
her bathrobe wrapped loosely around her nightgown. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
Angel was grim.
“Billie’s gone into labour.”
“Oh, God.” Fred
knelt beside her. “It’s going to be
okay, honey. You’ll be okay.”
Maria was trying to hold Spike back at the door. “I have to find her. You know that.”
“I know, vida mia, I know.
But your place right now is with your daughter. I’ll find her, and Wes will help me. That’s what we do. You said his name was Harris?”
“Xander Harris.
Maria, you saw her. She doesn’t
remember anything. She thinks she’s still with Angel, back at that bloody high
school. She was so frightened. I would have done anything to spare her that
pain.”
She touched her hand to his cheek. “I know Spike. I know who
she is to you. But trust us.” She turned to Wesley. “Come with me. I’ll fill you in in the car.
Turn your palmtop on, Spike.
We’ll keep you in touch. You do
the same.” Wesley followed her out the
door.
Spike supported Billie on one side, as Angel supported the
other. “Pack a bag for her, Fred,” her
husband said. “Meet us at the
hospital.”
“I love you, my brave girl,” Spike said to his
daughter. “Be strong.”
“But daddy, I’m so scared.”
“I know love, I know.”
*****
The two vampires were waiting in the maternity ward, Angel
sitting quietly in a chair, Spike pacing with nervous energy, when the doctor
came out to speak to them. Angel jumped
up. “How are they?”
“Your son is fine.
He’s tiny, but I don’t foresee any problems.”
“Thank God.” Angel
sighed with relief.
“He appears to be human, but we’ll keep an eye on him, given
his unique heritage.”
“And Billie?”
Spike’s blood froze at the look the doctor gave him.
“I’m sorry.” She
turned her attention to Angel. “Your
wife is very weak. She’s been fading,
ever since the delivery. To be honest,
I don’t know what’s wrong. If this continues
...”
“We’ll lose her.”
Angel looked at Spike, feeling more alone than he’d ever been. “I can’t...”
Spike put his hand on Angel’s shoulder. “We won’t.”
He wished he were as sure as he sounded. “Dr. Mungowe, this happened before. After Billie was born. I
know what she needs.” He grabbed his
jacket from a chair and started to head out.
“Where are you going?” Angel asked.
“You take care of my little girl. I’m going to find Buffy.”
*****
He plugged his palmtop into the dashboard speaker. “What have you found?”
Maria’s voice was clear.
“There was a Xander Harris checked into the Bide and Stay Motel on
Palmleaf, but he checked out a few hours ago.
He’s driving a grey Atlas, license SGM 737. Haven’t spotted it.” She
paused, afraid of what he’d tell her.
“How’s Billie?”
“It’s a boy. The
doctor thinks he’ll be fine.”
“Congratulations, Grandpa.”
That was Wes’ voice.
“I have to find Buffy.
Billie...she’s not doing too well.”
Maria sighed. “We
haven’t had any luck, but we’ll keep looking.
Spike, dios te bendiga.”
“Thanks, luv. I need
all the help I can get.” He was making
the turn onto Palmleaf, when he noticed a gaudy bar sign. He could make out a bit of grey in the
corner of the parking lot. Pulling in,
he parked and walked over to the Atlas.
“Bingo.”
*****
Fred handed a cup of coffee to Angel. “How is she?”
“Worse. The doctor
told me she’s worse.” He looked up from
the chair, cradling the cup in his hands.
His eyes were moist with tears.
“Fred, what am I going to do? If
I lose her...”
“Shhh.” She knelt
beside him and put her arms around him.
“Don’t think like that. And you
have a little person now to be concerned with.
He needs his daddy.”
“I need his mother.”
They had been through it before, he with Cordelia, she with
Charles. It always seemed impossible
until it happened. They both knew the
worst was far too possible. “I know, Angel. I know.”
*****
Spike scanned the patrons sitting along the bar. No point.
She wouldn’t sit there, not with so many people. He walked slowly along the line of
booths. There, in the farthest, towards
the back. Xander, with a mug of
beer. Not his first. Not by a long shot.
“Hello, Harris. Go
sit at the bar.”
“You.” He glared at the vampire. “You can’t make me.” His words were slurred. Buffy was sitting, a look of terrified
confusion on her face, pressed in the corner against the wall.
“No, I can’t. You
know that.” He tried to look into the
man’s unfocused eyes, tried to find some small shred of sobriety. “Xander. If you care, at all, about Billie,
then you’ll let me talk to Buffy. Alone.”
He must have touched something, deep inside. Xander Harris picked up his mug and
stood. “I’ll be at the bar.”
Spike slid into the booth, across from his wife. “Buffy, love. Buffy, look at me.”
She lifted her head.
He gasped. It was her, his
Buffy. He remembered every inch of her
face, every nuance of her expressions.
There were her sweet lips, her hazel eyes, the little lines just
starting to form at the corners. It
could have been minutes since he last saw her, not a lifetime.
“I don’t understand what’s going on, Spike. I remember things, bits and snatches. I remember a big snake, at a party. No, wait, it was at the school. I was with Angel, and there was a sword, and
then he was walking away. I keep trying
to hold onto things with my mind, but they slip away.” She studied him, confused. Why didn’t she hate him? Why didn’t she fear him? “Why do you want to talk to me?”
“I need your help.”
He reached his hand towards hers, but she pulled it back and dropped it
into her lap. “That woman, the one with Angel, she needs your help.”
“Why should I help her?”
“Why?” Why should
she help a strange woman, a woman who’d stolen her lover? “Because, Buffy, you’re the Slayer. You’re a hero. You help people, it’s what you do. If you don’t help Billie, she’ll die. I know you don’t understand, but if you don’t do this, you’ll
regret it, in ways you can’t imagine.”
How much should he tell her?
“That woman. She’s my daughter.”
“But you’re a vampire.
Angel told me, vampires can’t...”
“Yeah. Evidently we
can.”
She thought for a moment.
“What does she need?”
“Your blood.”
Buffy nodded. “I
should have known. She’s a vampire.”
“No, she isn’t.
She’s a woman. A good
woman. Please.” Would pleading help? “Just a bit of your blood. At the hospital. I swear to you, if you help me, you can go back to Sunnydale with
Xander. Anything you want. Just, please, help her.” He would let her go. It would break his heart.
“This means a lot to you.
A lot to Angel.” She sat for a
long time, her face inscrutable.
Suddenly, something sparked in her eyes. “Okay. I’ll help her.”
*****
“The nurses get hissy when they find you on my bed.”
“Tough for the nurses.”
Angel wrapped his arms around his much healthier wife. “Is it my fault that you’re so beautiful I
can’t keep away from you?”
“Yeah, right. I feel
real beautiful, with the stringy hair and no makeup. Must be love.”
He twisted around to kiss her. “Must be.”
“Umm hmm.” The sound
of the clearing throat caught their attention, and they pulled apart. “I was wondering if you two would be
interested in holding your son.”
“Dr. Mungowe?
Really?” Billie clutched at
Angel’s hand, squeezing it. “He’s ready?”
“He’s ready. He’s
been in the chamber for three days, and he’s made remarkable progress. He’s small, but he’s a fighter. If this keeps up, you should be able to take
him home in a week.”
Billie wiped tears from her eyes. “Can I see him now?
Please?”
“Of course.” The
doctor gestured to the nurse standing at the door, who wheeled the bassinette
into the room. She picked up the infant
and put him into Billie’s reaching arms.
“He’s so small.”
Angel was mesmerized by the tiny frame.
“It’s okay,” the doctor said. “You can touch him.”
Angel reached out his little finger, and the tiny hand
grasped it. “He’s so strong.”
Billie was crying.
“He’s so beautiful.” She kissed
him gently on the forehead. “Hello,
little Charlie. I’m your mommy, and
this is your daddy. We love you.”
“You did good, pet.”
Spike was standing at the foot of the bed, staring at the happy family. “Charlie, is it?”
“Yeah, dad. Charles
Giles Angel.”
“It’s a good name.”
He shifted his weight, nervously.
“There’s someone wants to see you.
Both of you. She saved your
life, Billie.”
“Mom?”
Spike nodded. “She
still doesn’t remember much, but she’s trying.
Wants to see the girl she helped.
She doesn’t know.”
“That I’m her daughter.”
Billie looked up at Angel’s face, seeking strength. “Bring her in.”
Spike went to the woman in the hallway and led her into the
room. Buffy stood awkwardly, making
little glances at Angel, confusion on her face, until she focused on the
baby. “Billie?”
“Yes?” Her daughter
waited for a sign of recognition, impossible she knew. She’d been three years old when her mother
was lost to her.
“I had a baby. I remember. Her name was Billie.” Buffy clenched her fists together. “How could I have a baby? I’m only in high school. Or college.
It’s so damn frustrating.”
Spike put his arm around Buffy’s shoulder. Surprisingly, she didn’t even flinch. “I remember something. I had a baby, then I
lost her, but I got her back.” She
looked at Angel. “You helped me. And Spike.”
She pounded her fist against her forehead. “Where is she? What
happened to her? Why can’t I remember?”
Spike gently pulled her hand away from her head, holding it
in his. “You will. In time.
Your baby’s fine.” He looked
over at his precious daughter. “More
than fine.”
Buffy leaned against him, relaxing. She couldn’t have told him why. He couldn’t help but smile.
*****
It was a celebration of sorts in the lobby of the Hyperion
Hotel. Little Charlie was coming
home. Fred had festooned the room with
streamers and balloons. Buffy was
sitting quietly in the corner, still trying to absorb the memories that came
trickling hesitantly back. Maria watched Spike as he hung a ‘Welcome Home’
banner over the reception desk. Wesley
carried out a bowl of punch from the kitchen.
Angel came through the front entrance with his beaming wife
in tow, a baby carrier in his arms. The
room’s inhabitants responded with spontaneous applause. Unimpressed, baby Charlie slept.
Only Maria failed to smile.
She pulled Spike aside into Angel’s office. “You’re going again, aren’t you.”
“It’ll be better for her, in Sunnydale. Hasn’t changed much over the years, not like
LA.”
“How’s she coping?”
“A baby step at a time.
She doesn’t remember us, not yet.
It’ll come. In the meantime,
we’re going to stay at Willow’s mansion.
It’ll be good for them. I know
it’ll be a shock, her seein’ how her friend is, but it’ll be good. Willow doesn’t have much time. They need each other.”
“And you, carino?
How will you be?”
“I’ll be fine.” He
took Maria’s hand and pressed it to his lips.
“I’m sorry. Sorry I hurt you.”
“I would have been hurt more in the long run, even without
this. I see it now. Your heart was never free.” She straightened her shoulders. “I’m a big girl. I have a good job. I’ll
be fine too.” She kissed his cheek. “Go. Be with your family.”
“I won’t forget you, Maria.
Look after my girl.”
“You can count on it.”
*****
Buffy watched the festivities with detachment. Everything in this new world seemed so
strange. Angel was kissing Billie, but it didn’t hurt. The baby was sweet. Spike was sitting down beside her. “I’m trying to understand. Billie is my daughter. Our daughter.”
“Yes.”
“The baby is my grandson.”
“True.” He took her hand.
“And I’d say you’re the prettiest grandma there’s ever been.”
“Billie needed my blood, after she was born. So when she was sick, you figured maybe she
needed it again.”
“Good thing I was right.”
He leaned back onto the couch.
“If I’d lost her...”
“It was my fault.
When I got here, she went into labour.”
Buffy stared at the strange young woman with Spike’s eyes and her mouth.
“No, pet. No.” He
took her hand and concentrated on her face.
“The doctor said it would have happened, even if she’d went full
term. If you hadn’t been here, we could
a lost her.” He laughed. “In a strange way, I have Harris to thank
for saving her life. Only thing keeping
that boy of his from losing his job.”
“You tell me things, but they don’t seem real. Funny though. I feel like I’ve been through this before.”
“I’ll explain it all, when you’re ready. Hopefully, you’ll remember for
yourself. I want you to know one thing,
though. I love you. With all my heart.”
“For what it’s worth,” she sighed, “that means something to
me. I’m not sure what, yet, but
something. I’m sorry that it’s not
enough.”
“It’s something.” He brought her hands to his lips. “More than I ever dared hope.”