Drinks, Drugs
and Philosophical Discussions
By: Vampy Spike - Anastasia
“You know he’s been gone for hours. What if something’s happened to him? What if he’s lying out there in some gutter, bleeding to death...”
“Really Cordelia, if he were bleeding to death in a gutter somewhere he’d actually be dust now, since it is mid afternoon,” Wesley stated watching over the top of his glasses as the agitated brunette accompanied her rant with pacing.
“Dust? Oh god, that’s worse! That would mean...” Cordelia stopped, her face crumpling, tears threatening to spill at any moment. Wesley stood and rushed towards her, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her.
“No more Angel Investigations...I’d be unemployed...again,” he released her and headed toward the office door pausing dramatically to look back at her. “Never fear, I shall return shortly with our...Angel.”
He fumbled with the door for a moment before turning back to her and smiling weakly.
“The door seems to be...” Cordelia stormed over and jiggled the door, flinging it open. “Open. Yes well, I shall return.”
Cordelia stared at the closed door, finally succumbing to the tears of anguish and confusion over Angel’s disappearance. Blindly she made her way down to the apartment, almost falling on the stairs. It had been a normal morning with Angel making his way through the tunnels to see Kate concerning some mysterious happenings, but that was hours ago and he should have returned by now. As she finally stumbled into the main area of the apartment she glanced about. It was empty, devoid of any life form, human or demon. Hiccupping loudly she stumbled toward the bed, collapsing on it and cradling Angel’s pillow to her tear filled flushed face.
“Angel...please...you have to come back....” Cordelia sobbed loudly into the pillow, blocking out the sound of the sewer grate opening. “I need to...to...tell you how much...I...”
“BOO!” three voices screamed loudly at her. Cordelia sat up straight, still clutching the pillow to her chest and stared at the three vamped out individuals standing beside the bed, hands raised in mock claws, demon faces twisted into snarls.
“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!” she screamed, scrabbling to the far side of the bed and falling off with a loud thump as she landed on the hardwood floor, cowering in fear. Fear soon turned to anger as she heard Angel laughing accompanied by the chuckles of Spike and the little girl giggle of Dru. Still clutching the pillow she rose up to her knees, looking across the bed at the three giggling vampires, their demon countenances morphing back into the human façade. “You...what the hell were you playing at? You scared the crap out of me...”
Angel giggled at her before turning away from the bed and staggering out of the bedroom. Cordelia’s eyes widened as she watched his departing wobbly form. Drusilla raised her head and sniffed the air, giggling slightly before looking back down at the brunette still on the floor.
“No…there’s no poo in here...just Channel No. 5...” Slowly she began to crawl over the bed, only stopping when her face was barely millimeters in front of Cordelia’s. She reached out and poked her in the cheek. “You’ve got a funny mark...it’ll go away if I eat you...”
“Ah, now pet, you know daddy doesn’t want you playing with his toys...he has plans and they don’t include necrophilia...” Spike stated. Dru turned and pouted at the blonde.
“But I’m bored...”
“Bored? Well we can’t have my princess being bored…” he murmured pulling on her ankle and flipping her over. Predatorily he crawled over her purring form, his lips barely brushing across hers, a teasing taste before dropping his mouth to the valley between her breasts. Drusilla groaned in delight, her fingers entwining in his short blonde hair, her over hand running down his chest to his groin. Spike joined Dru in her soft moans of pleasure.
“Eww...” whimpered Cordelia taking in the sight of the two vampires making out while she still clutched the pillow to her chest. “ANGEL!!!”
Angel reappeared, two dusty bottles clutched in each hand, looking at Cordelia across the two writhing and entwined bodies on the bed. “Yes?”
“You are Angel, right? No Mister ‘I’ve lost my soul and reverted to bad ass Angelus’?” she asked holding his gaze. Spike lifted his head and laughed at Cordelia.
“He’s still the big...” he was about to say poof when something, probably Drusilla’s finger working into his jeans and brushing across the tip of his cock, stopped him. Moaning lightly, his eyelids fluttered and he dropped his head back down to claim Dru’s lips in a passionate kiss. Breaking the kiss he looked back up at Cordelia. “He’s still Angel, souls intact...he’s just happily pissed...oh love...”
Again his lips crushed down on Drusilla’s and Cordelia looked back at Angel. “You’re drunk?”
“Nah, just...slightly pissed,” Angel said sitting down on the edge of the bed near Dru and Spike’s feet. He looked down at the two dusty bottles held in his hands. “We won’t be drunk till we have these...Dr Jurd’s Jungle Juice...”
“Okay I’m confused...” Cordelia closed her eyes and shook her head. As she opened her eyes she was greeted with a clear view of Spike nuzzling Drusilla’s breast. Averting her gaze she glanced back to Angel who was trying to open one of the bottles. “Why are you drunk or in the process of getting drunk?”
“Celebrating,” muttered Angel, his face twisting in frustration as he pulled at the cork that was firmly in place.
“Celebrating what?” asked Cordelia, trying desperately not to look at the amorous pair in front of her.
“The bitch is dead,” Spike announced joyously, grinning like a maniac. One of his eyebrows arched up as he leered at Cordelia. “I killed her.”
“Oh, Spike,” murmured Dru dragging him back down to kiss, making them both growl and Cordelia to groan.
“Who’s dead?” she questioned, wishing they’d just make sense.
“Buffy...” all three cheered in union.
“What? How? When? Why?” she stuttered.
“Well love that’s...oh god,” Spike muttered as Dru bit into his neck her cool hand encircling his rock hard cock. “Angel will tell you...”
“You can’t kill...you’re chipped...” argued Cordelia.
“Bloody hell, what always happens in Sunnydale?” asked Spike morphing into the demon and glaring at Cordelia. “Bunch of bleeding idiots go about knocking people on the head, get hit enough times and some goods got to come of it”
“Aww my poor little Spikey, let me kiss it better...” Drusilla lifted herself up and ran her tongue along his cheek. Spike’s eyes rolled back and he moaned, pushing Dru back down on the bed and capturing her lips, his hands running across her body.
“See, that’s what happened. The chip malfunctioned...” stated Angel, turning the bottle upside down and trying to shake the cork out of it. “And he hasn’t even been hit on the head as many times as Giles...now imagine what his chip is like.”
“Giles doesn’t have a chip...” started Cordelia, stopping herself being side tracked. “But that doesn’t matter, what happened to Buffy?”
“I killed her...” Spike murmured somewhere from Drusilla’s throat.
“I know but why?” asked Cordelia. Spike’s head flew up and he growled at her stupidity.
“She was a bitch for fuck’s sake, not to mention the bloody slayer. What else did you expect me to do...oh god,” he growled as Dru squirmed beneath him, guiding his hand between her legs. “Angel you can tell her the rest...”
“Well seems that Dru came back to Sunnydale, Buffy was about to stake her,” Angel held the bottle up in front of him and shook it. “Needless to say Spike went into a mindless rage and beat her black and blue, ripped off each of her arms and legs...”
“Don’t forget the hair,” stated Spike, his hips rocking against Dru’s, making her whimper and purr.
“Pulled all her hair out,” added Angel still trying to open the bottle.
“After she was dead? What’s the point...” Cordelia frowned.
“Oh no she was alive, barely but she still screamed...” Spike offered. “At least until I bit off her tongue...”
“Then pulled her eyeballs out and forced fed them to her...” Angel continued the story.
“And ripped her heart out for me as a beautiful keepsake...” Drusilla sighed, her fingers rhythmically stroking his cock as he smirked down at her.
“Then she died,” stated Spike and grinned lasciviously at Dru. “Made me feel all manly...”
“Oh my god...you killed Buffy!” the horrified whisper left Cordelia. “Angel, I’m so sorry...”
“Why?” asked Angel, finally getting the cork out of the bottle.
“It’s Buffy...you know, soul mates, eternal love...” Cordelia frowned at his nonchalant attitude and the vampire couples frantic movements accompanied by soft groans and fevered whimpers. “She’s dead, isn’t that meant to have some tremendously depressing affect on you?”
“Nah, Spike killed her and we’re celebrating...” Angel looked down at the couple before him, his mouth dropping open as Drusilla’s skirt was hiked up and one of her legs wrapped about Spike’s leather duster. “Although some seem to be celebrating more than others...do you want a Dr Jurds Jungle Juice?”
The bed started to move and squeak accompanying Dru’s gurgling moans and Spike grunts and whispered words of passion. Cordelia looked at them, horrified as she realized exactly what they were doing in front of her.
“Oh...this is just too...” she glanced from the copulating couple to Angel, pouring himself a drink, completely at ease with sitting on a bed with a couple shagging like minxes. He didn’t even bat an eyelid as Drusilla rested her heeled red satin boot against his back for leverage. Cordelia stood up and walked around the bed, her gaze fixed on the bonking vampires, shocked and horrified that they didn’t seem at all bothered to be going for it in front of others or on their sire’s bed. Sitting next to Angel, she grabbed the glass from his hand. “Give me a drink.”
“That’s my girl,” he laughed and then frowned. “That’s my glass!”
Shrugging he took a swig from the bottle. Cordelia downed the whole glass as the bed began to really sway with each of Spike’s grunting thrusts. She screwed her face up and coughed as the drink hit her taste buds.
“What is that?” she asked as her taste buds forgot about the initial bitter taste and were assaulted by a sweet honeyed tang, her throat and stomach warming with the traces of alcohol.
“Dr Jurds Jungle Juice. Very rare, very special...” stated Angel filling up her glass and taking another swig. “Comes from a little town called Wollo...Wollolombi...bi...bi,” he giggled as he stumbled over the town’s pronunciation. “In Australia. There’s a pub and that’s about it...great town.”
Suddenly the bed stilled and Dru slamming her booted foot into his back, crying out and snarling jerked Angel forward. Spike growled and the bed shifted a few times before stilling again. Cordelia frowned and kept her eyes fixed on the floor as Angel sat back up and looked over his shoulder. As the purrs and a sickening wet plop sound reached her ears Cordelia shook her head and downed her glass of Dr Jurd’s Jungle Juice, this was definitely one of those moments she was going to forget. She held out her glass to Angel and he refilled it. She closed her eyes and moaned in despair as she felt the bed begin to move again.
“Pub? Did I hear mention of a pub?” Spike asked moving back against the bed head and dragging an extremely satisfied Drusilla with him. Cordelia turned slightly and looked at the two disheveled vampires, Spike was smirking and searching for his cigarettes while Dru was happily curled against his chest licking at the bite mark on his neck. Spike found his cigarettes and lit one, his free hand stroking Dru’s hair. “We haven’t been to a pub for at least...half an hour, time to get back to one.”
“That sounds like a plan,” said Angel, passing him the other bottle of Dr Jurd’s Jungle Juice. Standing up he grabbed Cordelia’s hand and pulled her up, leading her toward the tunnels. “Let’s go.”
Some twenty minutes later Angel and Spike were leaning against a bar waiting for their drinks while the girls were in the toilets, little did they know what was happening behind those close doors. Spike meanwhile had pulled from his dusters pockets a number of multi colored pills and tablets, a few candies and a packet of white powder.
“Okay, a pint of ale to down the drugs and we’ll be well and truly on our way to being partially pissed,” stated a totally sloshed Spike, slurring slightly. Angel looked at him through alcohol-blurred eyes and then down at the various things strewn across the bar.
“No LSD,” commanded Angel and Spike pouted.
“Why not? LSD’s good...makes things look...abstract. Bloody hell, you’re the artist look at LSD as your key to seeing things like some famous soddin’ abstract artist,” nodded Spike dividing the drugs up evenly.
“No…nah...nope,” said Angel trying to shake his head and failing. “LSD is bad...turns your brain into an elephant balloon machine and you see Semolina Pilchard climbing up the Eiffel Tower.”
“Elephant balloon machine?” asked Spike looking at his sire and then back to the few pieces of candy that were laced with the substance. Picking them up he tossed them over his shoulder and shrugged. “Don’t need to have elephants floatin’ about...right then. Pills, ale and…and, um, more ale.”
Angel nodded and gathered his handful of drugs, his other hand wrapping around the beer. “Okay on three...three.”
They both threw the drugs in their mouths and gulped down the beer, slamming the empty glasses onto the bar and belching loudly. Spike sat for a moment then stood up, shook himself violently and sat back down. Clenching his jaw and pursing his lips together he turned to look at his sire, who was staring intently at what appeared to be a beanie bag monkey toy sitting on the cash register of the bar.
“It didn’t work, we’re still perfectly sober,” he spoke slowly, his hand caressing his chest while his eyelids drooped. He giggled and emptied the white powder onto the bar. “Time to powder our noses...then we’ll get the girlsh...”
“Girlsh?” asked Angel frowning, his head dropping forward. Still his eyes were fixed on the little monkey and he suddenly vaulted up on the bar and lunged forward, grabbing the toy and wrestling with it before his hands wrapped about its neck. “Die you evil thing, you beanie creature...”
“Angel,” Spike called as the dark haired vampire proceeded to throttle the harmless toy. Spike shook his head and groaned. “Stupid sod...Angel...ANGEL!”
Spike gave up and let him continue his great battle with the toy and merely shrugged when the bartender came him a dirty look. After about another minute or so the valiant battle became a bore to him so he wandered off in search of the girls. Who were in the toilets and much to Cordelia’s distress they were in the middle of changing clothes. In fact Drusilla was already dressed in Cordelia’s scanty and revealing outfit. Cordelia, however, was having difficulty working out how to get into the tight corset like top that Dru had been wearing and needless to say she wasn’t too keen on the slight damp patch on the back of Dru’s deep red velvet skirt. It was definitely an eww factor.
“How the hell does this top work?” Cordelia asked. Drusilla giggled at her and deftly helped her with it. Cordelia immediately lost the ability to breathe normally and was nearly knocked unconscious by her boosted breasts. “Oh my god...how do you wear this?”
“Your breasts are too big,” Drusilla stated, running her index finger along the brunettes highly pronounced cleavage, then she twirled about and giggled in delight. “I like these clothes...and I didn’t even have to kill you to get them...spoil my fun.”
Cordelia smiled cordially at the vampire and inched toward the bathroom door. “You know, I think Angel and Spike will be missing us...especially Angel, for me I mean.”
“He dreams of you...” Dru wandered up to her, smiling lasciviously. “All sorts of wicked things, with chains and silk...and a rubber cat suit.”
“That’s really...” Cordelia paused for a moment and frowned. “Twisted.”
The bathroom door swung open and Spike popped his head in, his nose burying in Cordelia’s cleavage.
“Well that’s a new look for you,” he stated, then turned to Dru, his eyes widening as they roamed over her barely there triangle green top and tight fitting skirt. “Oh princess you look smashing.”
Dru smiled and held out her hand to him, their fingers entwining. “Dance with me? You promised you would.”
“We have to get Angel off the bar first, love. Come on,” he urged her out of the bathroom and Cordelia followed, conscious that the few sleazy male patrons were eagerly drooling over her barely covered and uplifted cleavage.
“Cordelia...you’re wearing red,” Angel screamed at her from the top of the bar. Jumping off the bar, the little monkey still held in his hand, he grabbed her about the waist and held her close. His eyes immediately became fixated on her cleavage. “It suits you, draws attention to your...eyes. Where are our drinks? We need to drink.”
Cordelia caught a whiff of his breath and screwed up her nose. “I think you’ve had enough. Maybe we should just go...”
“No,” yelled Dru, stamping her foot and clenching her fist, her eyes glowed yellow. “Slayers dead, I want to dance. You promised.”
Spike smiled at his princess and swept her up in his arms, twirling them about. “I did indeed...I said I’d dance with you on the slayers grave...”
“Slayers dead, long rot the Slayer,” shouted Angel holding up a glass of whiskey in mock salute and downed it. Cordelia groaned and grabbed his arm.
“Okay, Angel, why don’t we sit down and talk,” she suggested trying to get him away from the bar, beneath her foot something squished. She lifted it up and frowned. “Eww, what did I tread in?”
Angel looked down and smiled. “It’s the LSD, we didn’t want the elephant balloons.”
Cordelia glanced up at the vampire in horror. She knew that look, the heavy lids, the dilated pupils, the silly grin. “Angel, have you taken anything?”
“I’ve taken lot’s of things, including virginities...who took yours?”
“I meant have you taken drugs?” Cordelia all but growled.
“No, Spike and I had some pretty colored pills with our ale...” Angel sighed and looked at the monkey in his hand. “We wanted to get at least half way pissed...bit it didn’t work we’re still perfectly sober.”
Cordelia moaned and looked at the couple on the dance floor doing some bizarre dance to rave music. Spike, she decided, was definitely pissed, as was Angel.
“Come on, let’s get a table,” said Cordelia, not even sure why she was putting up with this crap. Angel pouted as she turned away from him and headed toward a vacant table in one of the empty corners of the bar. Picking up both his drink and Spike’s he followed her, the little monkey still held in his hand. Grinning at Cordy he sat next to her and propped the monkey up against the beer. Cordelia shook her head. “What exactly is that?”
“Stan The Jungle Beat Monkey,” Angel said, like he was talking about his best friend. Grinning he moved closer to Cordy. “He was evil but then I talked to him and with the assistance of some good old fashioned violence he has decided to work for the forces of good.”
“Oh, that’s great. Really,” said Cordelia, already bored and fed up with an extremely intoxicated Angel. She watched Spike and Dru on the dance floor, wondering how long it would be before they would want to leave.
“You know, I think we should further our relationship.”
“What?” asked Cordelia, not sure what he meant and caught totally off guard by the nonchalant attitude.
“Think about it. You’re cute, I’m cute, we argue a lot...it’s the perfect ingredients for attraction and an incredible sexual tension,” stated Angel wiggling around in his seat and trying to look seductive. “So we should just do it...you and I should just have sex.”
“Okay...wait, no. I mean you have a few things right. I admit I do care for you a lot and even if I were attracted to you...sexually,” she swallowed, her eyes roaming over his body and back up to his face. “Well we simply couldn’t...curse...remember, reach that great happy moment and bang. Hello Angelus.”
“Nah,” stated Angel leaning back spreading his arms wide, one draping along Cordelia’s shoulders. “It’s not going to happen. Won’t lose my soul. No Angelus.”
“What? Why not?” asked Cordelia, hoping beyond hope that some miracle had occurred and Angel’s soul had permanently been restored and so that no matter how many ‘happies’ he achieved (and Cordelia was hoping that he’d achieve a hell of a lot of them and give her at least double helpings of everything he had), he’d still be her gorgeous Angel on waking in the morning. “This is going to be great...from your point of view of course. I mean if your soul is permanent then that means you’ve achieved redemption, you can live a decadent lifestyle without guilt...you can spend money...lots and lots of money...especially on presents...and of course other things.”
Angel laughed at her and Cordelia arched one of her perfect eyebrows at him.
“I don’t have a soul, so I can’t lose it when I have sex.”
“What?”
“We aren’t real.” Angel nodded to himself before bringing his free hand down to poke at the little monkey sitting in front of the beer and giggling. “Look, monkey.”
“What do you mean we aren’t real?”
“We’re figments of some twisted man’s imagination,” Angel said, leaning forward and twisting his head to look at a very peeved and unbelieving Cordelia. “Seriously...how else would you explain,” he glanced towards the dance floor and the couple happily dancing on it. “Those two. I mean really? Dru floats around raving like a lunatic, ‘oh the moon, oh things are whispering to me, oh I’m a princess’, you think that’s likely? Nah, then there’s Spike. Look at the hair, the clothes, the attitude, the ass...Oh my god! He only has one ass!”
“Umm Angel,” Cordelia put a calming hand on his arm, drawing his attention away from Spike’s tantalizing ass. “Everyone has one ass.”
“No he had two a few drinks back, I’m sure of it,” Angel grabbed the little monkey and made it dance in Cordelia’s face, his own twisting in silly expressions, his tongue waggling at her between his lips. With a final thrust of the monkey he dropped it and grabbed the drink it had been resting against, taking a long swig. “Anyway this guy, Joss Whedon...”
“The guy has a name?” asked Cordelia.
“Oh yeah, Joss, he’s the same as a god,” he reflected for a moment and shook his head. “Nah this guy, Joss, he is god. He created us, he dictates what we do, who we shag, what we say, who dies, who gets the really great clothes...like Spike...why couldn’t I get the duster? I mean I’d look really great in that duster. I’m taller and broader and do more of that ‘coat fanning out behind him’ walking than Spike...he gets all the good stuff. He gets all the wicked lines and women. But no, God Joss decided I had to be all soulful and lusting after the dead person...”
He leant in close to Cordelia, his face taking on a secretive conspiracy look.
“Can I tell you something?”
Cordelia nodded, wondering what drugs he had taken in that handful.
“I didn’t like her...she was too...duh...” he said pulling a face, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Cordelia raised her eyebrows in wonderment; maybe a drunk and drugged Angel wasn’t too bad after all. “I could have shagged Willow you know, that would have been fun...except for the clothes, especially now, but I guess you don’t really have to worry about clothes during sex...”
Cordelia’s eyebrows dropped, as did her smile. Angel’s fingers tangled in her dark hair, wrapping one long strand about his index finger, bringing it up to his nose to smell. Cordelia really hoped that when he and Spike had downed their drugs they hadn’t snorted cocaine and that he was now simply using her hair as a tissue...although after tonight nothing would surprise her.
“But she would have been nothing compared to you...” he whispered kissing the soft silky strands of hair wrapped about his finger.
“Who’s nothing compared to her?” asked Spike dropping down onto a chair next to Angel and pulling Dru into his lap, his arm snaking about her waist.
“Willow,” Angel murmured leaning in closer to Cordelia, who licked her lips making him shudder and moan quietly.
“She’s shag worthy, except for the clothes,” Spike muttered picking up his beer and taking a sip. “You know I would love to change her...she’d be a right little vixen. Glorious, all that red hair...do you think that’s natural?”
“Yeah, Spike. About as natural as your hair,” Angel said quietly smiling at Cordelia, his gaze fixed on hers as his free hand started to stroke her velvet covered thigh.
“Willow is a bitch as a vampire,” said Cordelia, leaning towards Angel’s mouth, her hand wandering down to caress his hard thigh.
“How the fuck would you know?” Spike asked as Drusilla got off his lap and wandered towards a group of young girls who had just come into the bar. Angel broke Cordy’s gaze and turned to Spike, enthusiasm making his eyes bright...hang on no that was the drugs.
“Anya bought a vamp version across from some alternative time line. I tell you, she was something,” Angel said, totally missing the frown marring Cordelia’s face. “She had these boots, added to her height, towered over Buffy. And, oh my god, the leather...”
Spike swallowed and arched his eyebrows. “Leather?”
“Leather. Pants, this corset top, so tight you didn’t need to use your imagination. Oh and her skin, like porcelain and the eyes, the eyes would have any man, vampire or other, willing to lay their life at her feet,” Angel was practically drooling whereas Spike was. His fingers were still stroking Cordelia’s thigh, even more suggestively than they had before.
“Oh yeah, add to that the whole ‘I’m a bitch and I’ll kill you all’ attitude, you could really find her attractive,” said Cordelia sarcastically, trying to pull away from Angel’s hand only to have his fingers tighten about her leg. Spike was staring at Angel intently.
“Fuck,” he said in total admiration and longing.
“Yeah,” agreed Angel, staring at his drink.
“Fuck,” repeated Spike not able to get the image of vamp Willow out of his head.
“Yeah,” said Angel again, a small sliver of drool forming at the corner of his mouth.
“I don’t know what you’re getting so worked up about...according to Angel we don’t even exist,” said Cordelia picking up Angel’s beer and drowning her sorrows about the affect of vamp Willow.
“What?” asked Spike.
“We don’t exist, we are just figments of some guys imagination,” said Cordy, finishing the drink. Spike laughed and looked at Angel.
“You’re pissed mate! That doesn’t make sense,” Spike glanced about trying to find Dru, the images of vamp Willow playing havoc with his body.
“Yes it does, think about it,” stated Angel. Spike scowled at him.
“So you’re saying that everything we do is because this guy...”
“Joss Whedon,” supplied Angel, his hand sneaking up to the waist band of Cordy’s skirt and dropping back down to her ass. Spike raised his scarred eyebrow in question.
“Oh yeah, he’s got a name and according to Angel he’s god,” said Cordelia sarcastically, receiving a pinch from Angel.
“So Joss is manipulating us? Making us do all these things?” Spike asked, receiving a nod from Angel. “If that were true, why would he reveal that he is the ‘puppet master’? Why would you suddenly have this knowledge that you aren’t real?”
“Well...” Angel was stumped, he didn’t know why.
“Come on, give me an answer, prove me wrong,” said Spike watching as his sire thought about the question. “Come on mate, what’s going on, how do you know you’re not real?”
“I’m pissed,” stated Angel. “How am I meant to prove my theory? Except...actually I can...me and Cordelia will have sex and I bet you, I bet you my car that I don’t lose my soul.”
“How will that prove anything?” asked Spike smirking as Dru walked back toward him, licking her fingers. He opened his arms and waited for her to sit back down on his lap, kissing her affectionately. “Where have you been love?”
“There were some pretty little girls,” Drusilla crooned, stroking his hair. “They had pictures of the nasty slayer and daddy on their clothes. I had to punish them, but they didn’t taste nice and they barely screamed. No fun at all.”
Cordelia’s eyes widened as she realized that the bathroom was probably full of mutilated bodies. She wanted out before anyone found them. She turned to Angel and smiled, her hands playing across his chest.
“Well let’s go prove your theory,” she whispered against his lips before kissing him softly, chastely. She was pulling away when Angel’s arms wrapped about her tightly and pulled her up flush against his hard body, his mouth crushing against hers, his tongue delving into her sweet mouth. Moaning she tangled her fingers in his hair, her nails scraping at his scalp making him growl in pleasure. His tongue played against hers, stroking and teasing, urging it into his mouth. Finally he released her and she gasped for breath, her breasts heaving against the constraints of her top. “Oh, oh, we so have to go prove this theory. Now would be good...very good in fact...”
“Yes,” said Angel standing up and grabbing her hand.
“Hey, what about witnesses? You might shag the bint senseless but then you might not...”
Cordelia grabbed the little monkey. “Stan can watch.”
Spike watched as the two brunettes made a mad dash for the exit and smiled to himself. “Well lucky that handful included viagra, think the old farts going to need it...imaginary indeed...stupid tosser!”